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I don't really have any ideas to make yourself not cry. I thought that I would but I didn't really except for part of the vows so I sounded sort of funny when I talked.
I have beein trying to figure out how to post a thread about crying...I cry for all the same reasons to you do - add tv shows, cards, emails...Is there a trick to not crying?
With all the crying I do - - I hope to god my photographers get the most amazing picture of my eyes right before the tears fall, you know when they're totally filled with tears and the second you blink they fall. I want the picture of the second before you blink....HAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAH
I want to know the trick, too! lol. I have the same problem!
While I did shed a few tears during the ceremony, for the most part I managed to keep it together and not cry my eyes out.
My trick? This is going to sound REALLY stupid (mostly because I think it IS really stupid), but whenever I felt the urge to cry bubbling up, I started thinking "makeup makeup makeup, contacts contacts contacts". I'm not used to wearing contacts, having worn glasses exclusively for the last few years, but I got new contacts for the wedding. I also had my makeup professionally done, and it was very uncomfortable to get my eye makeup done with the contacts, since I'm not used to wearing either contacts OR makeup! So, in the interest of keeping my eyes comfortable (i.e., no moving contacts) and my makeup intact (i.e., no need for an uncomfortable retouching), I tried my very hardest to not cry. And it kinda worked, lol.
The mascara was water-proof, so the very few tears I actually did shed didn't mess it up. And my contacts shifted a bit when those tears came, but they stayed in place. And I managed to not bawl like a baby =) Though my voice did sound a bit choked up during the vows, because I was trying so hard to hold back the tears.
I have a pocket with my dress, so I'm planning on keeping a tissue in my pocket and just letting myself cry. I could fight it, but I tend to make really weird faces when I fight tears.
Whaaa! i have been thinking the same thing! I'll be thinking "dont mess up the makeup"!!!
I wish I had advice, but I don't. The funny thing is that I always cry at weddings, and even cry watching ones on TV, but for our wedding, I couldn't have cried even if I wanted to...it was the weirdest thing! So, maybe the same thing will happen to you?
I cry at EVERYTHING, too! Hehe! Now that we're married, I want a baby SOOO badly, (but we have to wait another ten months before we can start TTC because our new insurance program doesn't cover it for 12 months)...while on a tour of a new local hosptial during an open house, I was getting all teary while standing in one of the labor/delivery room! So pathetic, right? ;)
ANYWAY, surprisingly, I didn't cry during the wedding. I cried a bunch during the reception, but I made it through the ceremony, which was my goal! I got a little shaky during the vows because I could feel the emotions bubbling up, but no tears were shed! It helped, for me, to look at my husband's EAR while I said the vows. Hehe. It looks to everyone like I'm gazing into his eyes, but I'm NOT! I told him I was going to do it beforehand, and he thought it was a good idea and planned to do the same.
Daddy-daughter dance? Oh, I did I ever cry! Maid-of-Honor Speech (by his sister, welcoming me into the family)? I cried! Father-in-Law's Speech welcoming me into the family? I cried! Hehe...he started tearing up himself when he saw me "start to go" (as he put it) and had to kind of change the subject! LOL!
With eight more days to go, this is a concern of mine too! I am (and have always been) such a sniveler!
I like your idea, Azula, of thinking "makeup, makeup, makeup" and plan to make my goal to NOT cry for the ceremony (thanks for the idea, Miss Apricot)... then if I want to cry at the reception I'll give myself permission!
Hope that works! :-)
i am scared about this too!!!!! i never used to cry when i was younger, maybe i'm making up for it now lol. i was thinking about seeing my groom before the ceremony.....just a few private moments (with the photographer there of course). but then again, i would love for us to not see each other until "that moment"....i guess it will depend on how im feeling that day.........its going to be a tough decision.
I have the same issue, so my plan is to take cleansing breaths, relax my face, and let the tears fall. That way, they can do their thing and I won't have that weird "I'm in pain!" look in the photos, lol.
oh i'm sure this is what will happen to me. i cry at movies (even ones that people say aren't sad...cried so much at the move Up) and tv commercials too. I'll probably just let the tears fall so I don't have strange faces in pictures.
I'm a huge crier too and I'm terrified of "the ugly cry" at my wedding. I agree, thinking about your makeup will probably help to stem the tears a bit. I'm also going to see FI before the ceremony for photos which I'm sure will be a huge help, and I'm also going to practice our vows A LOT beforehand.
I had to do a reading for my grandmother's funeral last summer that had a part about a bride and a groom in it (this was two months after we got engaged) and I thought for sure I wouldn't be able to make it through the reading and would make a scene at the funeral. I practiced it over and over and over at home until I got comfortable with the words and rhythm of it and could get through 99% of it without crying, and that REALLY helped me. Not that I got all my cryinig out beforehand, but I got used to the message of the reading which really helped. I plan on doing the same for our vows. I know I'll still cry, but I'm hoping if I can pace myself through a lot of it beforehand it'll help a lot.
I know I'll cry! I'm worried about it too, but then I think back to ceremonies when the bride and/or groom has cried, and it's been lovely -- not a problem and nothing to be ashamed of! I agree that fighting it can make it worse. Definitely wear waterproof mascara and consider keeping the ceremony short and sweet with less of the type of stuff you know will make you fall apart.
Can you maybe have a really good cry that morning? And get it out of your system? I never cry at anything, and I am a little worried as coming off as emotionless!
I'm worried about the same thing. I already purchased my water-proof mascara so I hope it holds up. I will try to remind myself about the make-up. I know it will happen at some point, the crying that is, I just hope I don't go on and on the whole day. I like the idea of focusing on something else too. Definitely will want to do that, it's worth a try.
The funny thing is, he's just as worried, he said he doesn't want to ball at church.
you know what? I cry at everything too, so I just naturally assumed that on the day of my wedding I would be a ball of tears. But suprisingly I was not. At all. I didn't shed one tear, didn't realease one spec of water out of my duct. Everyone around us was crying, but for some reason it felt surreal to me. Walking down the aisle, our officiant talking, reciting our vows, all of it felt like other worldly...maybe because I was concentrating to hard on what was going to happen next, i don't really know, but seeing my now husband smiling at me during the wedding was funny instead of emotional. I will say on an average day we are a couple of goofball pranksters, but our wedding was not the emotional cryfest for me like I am at everyone else's wedding.
you know what? I cry at everything too, so I just naturally assumed that on the day of my wedding I would be a ball of tears. But suprisingly I was not. At all. I didn't shed one tear, didn't realease one spec of water out of my duct. Everyone around us was crying, but for some reason it felt surreal to me. Walking down the aisle, our officiant talking, reciting our vows, all of it felt like other worldly...maybe because I was concentrating to hard on what was going to happen next, i don't really know, but seeing my now husband smiling at me during the wedding was funny instead of emotional. I will say on an average day we are a couple of goofball pranksters, but our wedding was not the emotional cryfest for me like I am at everyone else's wedding.
Oh gosh, I am so worried about not being able to avoid a bunch of pictures of me with 'ugly cry face'! I don't know that any tricks work for me. I have been playing all of the meaningful songs that will be played during the wedding, thinking if I hear them all the time they won't be as emotional on the day, like I'm conditioning myself. But it hasn't worked. I've been on the treadmill listening to the first dance song and I still cry. What a geek!
I wish I knew the trick as well...I literally cry over anything!!
Oh goodness I cry like that too and it can drive me crazy! HAHA I just hope too, like jackie-o my photographer captures one of those fantastic just before or mid-tear photos like my sister has (same photographer). She is just beaming with tears in her eyes and it's one of her favorite photos from the day and I totally agree. Thankfully I don't have to worry about contacts, but I do have to worry about the red eyes, rudolph nose and sniffly sound if I do cry a little too much :( UGH
I'm definately going to cry-problem is I don't know when or how much! I just hope I don't cry too much and not while walking down the aisle! Eek! I have a Man of Honor so he'll have tissues to hold for me in his pants pocket.
I've always cried at tv/movie/real life weddings...hopefully I'll be too nervous to cry too much at my own! :)
I have been in the same boat as I had cried for many weddings but surprisingly I kept myself together probably because I was enjoying myself. I was ready and psyched. I did have somewhat of a quivering voice when we said our vows but that was it. I was all smiles the entire day.
@Mrs L - your OP was so funny! I'm totally picturing the slow Home Alone music twinkling while Kevin changes his face from a frown to a big smile and picturing you crying at the TV <3
I'm a big cryer at weddings, too. I had trouble keeping myself together the day of, but i'll tell you it's just so weird standing up there. When you're listening to all of the vows, and staring at your fiance, and trying not to cry, your mind's so busy that you may just not cry. Maybe you could have him carry a really nice hanky though that coordinates with your wedding colors, just in case you need to wipe a few tears or a stray boogie while you're up there ;)
Like the other bees have posted....i too cry at everything from commercials to weddings where I don't know the people!! But I too didn't cry during the wedding, I got a little teary eyed when DH started crying during our vows, but nothing to the point of ruining my make-up! I usually get really embarrassed about being in front of a lot of people to, but I was calm and collected throughout the entire day. Everyone kept commented on how calm I was from the rehearsal to the minute I walked down the aisle!! I think you too will be surprised at how little you might cry!!
I wish I could have read this before getting married!
I am not a cryer, and thought nothing of it. Then came the rehearsal....I teared up here and there. I felt that that'd be the end of it and I wouldn't cry the day of. I was glad I got it all out.....
Was I sooo wrong, I was tearing up left and right! The videographer caught almost all of it. Pretty funny....My Husband was beaming from ear to ear though.
Bring a hanky...even if you don't think you need it.
Mine sure came in handy, I'm lucky it was my something blue otherwise I wouldn't have had one.
I too cry for commercials, cheesy music, speeches, etc. But I had been so "matter of fact" about the wedding, all in planning mode, that I was sure I was just going to be concerned about the timeline and details that I wouldn't cry. Also, it's a happy day, why would I cry?
Then I got to the ceremony site and my mom saw me backstage and started crying, which obviously got me crying too! I couldn't stop... and delayed the ceremony by 5 mins lol My dad came to see me, gave me a tissue and a pep talk (that didn't help haha) I was supposed to walk up the aisle by myself, but I couldn't, so my dad helped me by walking up with me.
I was also trying to remember about my makeup, but it didn't help at all. And if you're like me, your nose also gets red and leaky and that gets you to blow your nose which means that you rubbed the makeup off and all your pictures are with you and a red nose! haha
I calmed down while the officiant was talking and was able to say my vows clearly enough and I didn't cry for the rest of the day.
Red nose alert (with my mom):
Poor thing, At least you were able to say your vows clearly!! Hahaha... My Husband always jokes to me about it. Invalid marriage or that he held me at gun point and the sort.
@Aerya: you look cute with a red nose!
when I cry (or even when I get close to crying), my face turns all blotchy purple-and-white and the bags under my eyes get baggier. then my eyelids (top and bottom) swell and they stay that way for a while!
makeup will help none of that. I just have to hope that I somehow don't cry.
@Mrs.Anchors: haha even though it was only 5 minutes, my husband told me that people were telling him that maybe I changed my mind, that I stood him up! He knew it wasn't the case and they were only joking but I feel bad I made him wait because I had to calm down!
@janie-janie: Thanks! :)
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I cry at every wedding. I have cried at weddings where I have been a date and have never even met the couple before. I cry when the McAllister's find Kevin at the end of Home Alone. I cry when I read the newbee's (get it?) engagement stories and I cry when I hear them in person.
I cry when I think about how I would feel if (insert random song) would be our first dance.
When FI proposed, I cried for a good 4 minutes before I could say yes.
I REALLY do not want to be that bride who cries THE WHOLE time. I've tried the hold your tounge against the top of your mouth, which seems to help, but I don't want to have a really weird expression walking down the aisle.
Does anyone have any other ideas??