(Closed) How do I politely invite someone to arrive after dinner?

posted 8 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Hotel Vitale

You could easily say: Please join us for Cocktails and Dancing.

But honestly, I don’t know if it’s ever polite to invite someone to a party when they have obviously missed half the party.

If you were going to another location- I’d say you could invite them to an after party.

Good luck.

Post # 4
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Sorry, i agree with peep. It would be pretty obvious that there had already been a ton of partying to which these guests were not invited… and since there is such a small number of them, I think they would be particularly hurt to see that just the few of them weren’t considered good enough. I agree that you should find another location – or better yet, since it’s such a small number, find another way to squeeze the budget to pay for their meal. If it was me, i would feel like it would be a slap in the face to be in the unlucky 10. Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I’m sorry to say, but your guests are going to feel like B-listers regardless of how you do the inviting.

I was invited to a wedding where I was not invited to the reception, but to a “Dance party” following the reception that was starting around 7 at night. The wedding was at 2pm.

Seriously… it left the worst taste in my mouth. I went to the wedding & the only reason I had considered the after party was because a bunch of my friends were going. I got there at 7 and they were still chowing down… so I left (along with 15 other after party guests).  The bride got pissed at all of us & she, to this day, hasn’t spoken to me. I’m happy I didn’t bring my gift in & I still use her pyrex set.

Post # 6
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

I agree with the previous posters. There really isn’t a way to do it without offending anyone. They will definitely know that they weren’t included on the “real” list of guests invited to the whole thing.

Post # 7
Member
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Ditto Peeptoe — you don’t.  It’s just not polite, however you say it.  You either have room for them or you don’t, and they’re either part of your small, intimate guest list or they’re not.  I’d be humiliated to arrive at a reception where everyone was seated and had just finished a meal in which I wasn’t invited to partake.  And were you not planning to invite them to the ceremony, either?

Post # 8
Member
7175 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I agree with the others.  Don’t do it.  People understand not being invited to the wedding, but to be invited to a secondary party (or conversely, to not be invited to dinner but invited to church) really leaves a bad taste in the guests mouth (and is remembered long after).

Even though I understand your desire for those ten people to be there, and your intentions are good, do not do it.

If I were you, I’d speak with your venue and ask if there was any way at all possible they could squeeze in another ten people… they might surprise you!

Post # 9
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - Heinz Chapel Ceremony, Museum Reception

I agree with the other posters–I don’t think I’d do this, if I were you. If I were only invited for the last third of the wedding (if you count the ceremony, dinner, then the dancing part), I think I would feel pretty insulted and would probably not go.

Post # 10
Member
2476 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Gotta agree with the above posters… there really is no tactful way to invite guests to come dancing but not to dinner. 

Post # 11
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Ditto don’t do it! It’ll backfire

Post # 13
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

to me, not really…

Post # 14
Member
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

No difference…sorry.

Post # 15
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

There isn’t any polite way to do that. Scale back the dinner menu and find a larger venue that allows you everyone in the same room. so that you can invite everyone and don’t invite any extras for the dance-only portion. They will know they are B-listers who weren’t “important enough” to join in the rest of the festivities. People do feel less special when they have to sit in a different room as well.

Post # 16
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Mrs. tea-

No matter what the size of the location is you can’t invite them half-way through the event.  They won’t understand that they couldn’t fit in 10 more people.  And sitting in another room is just as bad.

How many people have you already invited?  Not all your guests will show.  You can expect about 10-15% won’t come.

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