How do I pull off a Surprise wedding??? Help.

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 4
8677 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

You’re free to do as you choose, and if this is the ideal wedding for you, then by all means do it.

However, if I were to have done a surprise wedding, it would have ended up with a lot of hurt feelings. My mother would have been considerably upset if I invited her out and I said, “Oh by the way, I’m getting married today! Sit down and enjoy the show!”

She would feel unwanted and uninvited. She wouldn’t have been a part of any process and would probably be upset with me for the end of my days. Now, my mother isn’t your mother, but parental feelings are important, especially in a social event like this — Would your mother (OR family in general) have the potential to feel like this?

If so, if I were in your shoes, I’d want to take their feelings into consideration. You can have small, intimate weddings without springing it on everyone last minute. My husband and I got married in our living room Justice of the Peace style. It was just our parents, our cat & dog. Very intimate, very small, it was wonderful and I’d do it all over again if I could.

Post # 5
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@Shonzilla:  Pick a holiday like Fourth of July or New Years and plan to throw a big party.  Nobody will think too much of it since it’s on a holiday.  I would decorate it in the theme of the holiday so nobody will expect it when you walk out in your wedding gown.  You could even mingle with guests in a non-wedding dress early in the day and then change into your wedding dress just before the big reveal.  I would get the guests seated by asking them to sit for a toast and then during the toast revealing that you’re getting married right then.  The biggest problem I see you running into is family/friends not making the party a priority since they will think it’s just a party and not a wedding.

Post # 7
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

It sort of sounds like you are going to end up with a huge, fairly expensive wedding in the end anyhow, but without the benefit of help?

Not to be a parade-rainer, lol.

Post # 8
2069 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

It’s your wedding, so you and your fiancé can do whatever you would like. But, one thing to consider about a surprise wedding is that people you would want at your wedding and people who wouldn’t want to miss your wedding might not be there. I have missed many engagement parties, showers, etc because of other commitments, too far away, etc-but I would hate to miss the wedding of someone I care about. 

Post # 9
2081 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@WestCoastV:  +1. I agree with this…people might say they can’t make it thinking, “Oh well it’s just the engagement party. I will definately make it to the wedding.” I could see that happening.

Post # 10
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My good friends threw a Christmas Winter White party last year and then surprised everyone by getting married halfway through it. 

They had invited their parents to come and enjoy the day with them leading up to the party, and they were all aware of what was going on. It was a cocktail party, and they are known for throwing big parties, so everyone usually brings something for the bar. 

I was out of town (as some people do during the holidays) so I missed it, but I absolutely still love their idea of a surprise wedding. Less fuss, no hurt feelings and low budget.

Post # 13
7531 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I sent you a PM with lots of information that might be helpful.

Post # 14
9526 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think it sounds like a fantastic idea. Make a list of VIPs who you need to make sure are there and can be in on the severet, and the rest will work out. What will be hard is getting estimates. I doubt you’ll get good RSVPs for an engagement party, so you might run into trouble with estimating food and drink and how much space you need. But I think it sounds fun and if I was your friend I would be super excited once I figured it out.

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