Post # 1
My fiance and I are getting married in Charleston, SC in August which is a destination wedding. This is very out of character in my family and for where we live. Most people around us have upwards of 400 people. We’re having 80 people.
Many people keep asking “Why are you getting married down there?” and “Wow, why don’t you make it further away for people to come to.”
(It is an 8 hour drive.)
I don’t know how to answer that question in a kind manner.
My parents are more than controlling and my fiance and I knew if we had it back in our hometown that it would not be the wedding that we wanted. It would turn into a big ballroom party instead of a lowcountry rustic wedding.
We knew we’d be able to have the small, intimate wedding we wanted in a place we have vacationed to several times. We love the history, acrhitecture, etc.
Plus, we’re looking to move to SC in the near future although there are no guarantees yet.
How do I respond to them?
Post # 3
@janet.little.7: Tell them you love the setting and it’s a dream of yours to get married there. If they can’t make it, they can’t make it. You acknowledge that it’s a destination wedding so it’s not like you’re doing it out of selfishness.
Post # 4
We got engaged in Charleston and I absolutely love it there. Couldn’t you just say, “We really love Charleston and have lots of happy memories there, so FI and I thought it would be nice to share it with the people we love. We hope you can join us (if it’s someone who’s invited!) and fall it love with the area like we have.” Period. If they love you, they will understand and hopefully keep their crabbing to a minimum!
Have a lovely wedding ~ in my humble opinion, you couldn’t have picked a better place to celebrate! Enjoy!
PS: In honor of our engagement, we are giving River Street Sweets pralines as our wedding favor!
Post # 5
That you two are just so charmed by the place and really wanted an intimate wedding! So it made sense for you.
Post # 6
@janet.little.7: Sounds lovely! From my experience, most of the time when people act offended/put-off by a long drive to a wedding it’s because they think YOU’LL be offended/put-off by them not making the long drive.
If the destination and control is more important to you and your FI than having 400 people there (which I COMPLETELY see why it would be!) then explain that you’ll be doing it that way and IF they’d like to celebrate with you that’s great! That’s very different than, “we’re doing it 8 hours away and if you don’t come it must mean you don’t care about us”.
It’s your wedding day, your commitment. If they want to join you, great! If not, it is an 8 hour drive so no big deal — you’ll understand! No one I know would have problem with that.
And CONGRATULATIONS!! I really hope it’s a wonderful day!
Post # 7
@janet.little.7: We knew we’d be able to have the small, intimate wedding we wanted in a place we have vacationed to several times. We love the history and architecture.
Post # 8
Isn’t it sad how people react to other people’s wedding plans? Before I was engaged I didn’t think anything of anyone’s wedding plans negatively or positively but I sure support them in their decisions now.
I think all destination wedding brides (including myself) understand how you feel. People are very “put off” that I’m not having my wedding where everyone can attend. The important thing I like to remember is that the wedding is between myself and my fiance. I appreciate those that can make it and will be very happy to have them there but it’s not going to be thier marriage. 🙂
I agree with everyone on here. Just tell them that it’s the destination of your dreams and it’s going to be so beautiful you can’t wait and hope they can make it!
Post # 9
@janet.little.7: I’m not familiar with such large destination weddings — is it typical to invite so many people and ask them to go through so much to see you get married? It’s one thing to invite the people that are closest to you to travel to some great location….but SC in August is as hot as he!!…and an 8-hour drive means flights or two all-day drives which will mean taking time off of work… I think you’d have less questions if you were having a small DW — but I think you will have a great time no matter what.
Post # 10
@primrosehedge: if anyone thinks it is “so much” to go through, they don’t need to attend. we are having 85 people come to our destination wedding in the Dominican Republic. The reason we had a destination wedding was to cut down on the number of people attending. it sounds like that was the OP’s intention too.
Post # 11
@janet.little.7: Just tell people the place is special to your and your fiance which is why you chose to have your wedding there. I had a destination wedding in Cuba in April and we had 67 people join us. That is more of a trip then an 8 hour drive! If people questioned why we were having it there (luckily no one did except my cousin I didnt want to come anyways) then they just didnt come!!! it was also a great way to weed out the people you dont really want there!!
Post # 12
@primrosehedge: People do not have to come and see us get married. That is exactly what I don’t want. I am inviting 80 (which is only my 1st family and cousins and their children) to the wedding.I feel like if they would like to join- wonderful if they “feel like it is too much” or are busy- no worries.