- 8 years ago
- Wedding: August 2010
Ok, so we do not want any children under the age of 12, mostly because the church is very quiet and there is an echo. Some children such as my sister’s toddler, a friend of the family’s baby, and one of my bridesmaid’s sons are loud and hyperactive. My FH’s extended family has children too whom we are not inviting.
I told my mother that if my sister comes (we’re estranged but she may come to my wedding after all) her 3 year old can come to the reception but he’ll have to stay outside during the ceremony, in the limo, or another room (my parents may have access to another room/building).
My mother was like, if he cries they’ll take him out, and I’m like– no I don’t even want to hear a peep to begin with or see footsteps pattering or anyone going in and out of the church…the way the church and altar are situated I would see it, and we’d definitely all hear it b/c the church is very quiet and there is an echo. My FH feels the same way, and that we shouldn’t have to worry for a single second that our ceremony should have distractions. I would feel completely resentful if I’m up there on the altar trying to focus and heard a child making noise.
So I put my foot down with my mother on that and she relented. My father then reminded me about a family friend I’d sent a STD card who has a one-year old. Interestingly this is also a girl I had a falling out with years ago but my father suggested to invite her (she is the daughter of my father’s friends She and I used to be friends). I was perfectly cool with that. So I’d sent a STD card to all of them. I said to him that I doubt she’d bring her one year old and that I would be putting some sort of notice on the upcoming invites about it being “adults only” or something…but he thought that wouldn’t be enough and that I should contact her directly and say no children (even though I haven’t spoken to her in years!!!)
One of my bridesmaids has a child who is hyperactive and loud and I doubt he’ll be quiet. I don’t think she was planning on bringing him but I feel like now I need to put it out there. I think that typically her parents would watch him, but I’ve invited her parents to the wedding. Her ex husband can be inconsistent with his promises to watch the kid and sometimes backs out at the last minute. My assumption is that she’ll look for someone else or figure something out. She does have a ton of relatives, maybe he could stay with them (they’ve babysat for her before I think….)
Another reason we are not inviting children is because we can’t afford to add anymore guests, and if I make any exceptions for someone I’d have to make them for everyone — then suddenly we’d have double the amount of guests we’ve got on the list already.
I think some people will be understanding of this and won’t care, but I’m thinking I shouldn’t make assumptions that people know not to bring small children.
HOW do you let people know that there are no children allowed? I know I can’t control people’s reactions, but I want to do this the best way possible.