(Closed) How do I say "no kids" without upsetting his family?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
6365 posts
Bee Keeper

You could elope.

Post # 4
Member
3083 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@cmoore793:  just tell them no kids. If they give you guys an issue, then they shouldn’t go. 

Post # 5
Member
1264 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

*listening* I do NOT want kids at my wedding either. I have considered “adult reception to follow” on the invite, or just writing “mr and mrs” and saying “we have reserved 2 places in your honor” stuff like that makes it pretty clear.

Post # 6
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@cmoore793:  If you’re making a wedding website you should put it somewhere on there, for sure.

Post # 8
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2000

I only addressed the invites to the parents, Mr. and Mrs. ____, then on the RSVP card, ___ out of 2 will attend. 

 

I just sent the invites out so we’ll see if I get disowned! 🙂

 

Post # 9
Member
3267 posts
Sugar bee

@cmoore793:  YOU don’t tell them anything.  He tells them, and emphasizes it was a joint decision, and what he wants too.

Post # 11
Hostess
11864 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

If you don’t say ‘and family’ on the address that’s also a hint, make sure to NAME the guests on the enevelope instead of Mr & Mrs. John Smith I would say Jane & John Smith – I feel like that makes it more specific (etiquette snobs may disagree with me)

Post # 12
Member
2057 posts
Buzzing bee

@cmoore793:  You can’t. No amount of etiquette, sweetness or bribery will appease people who want to be offended. 

Just go ahead with your “no children” plans, address the envelopes only to the invited, and accept that there will likely be backlash from his family.

Post # 13
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It’s your wedding, I’ve learned trying to please peoople for our wedding was going to send me to the nearest pys ward. 

If they can’t come or get offended oh well, it’s your day and not theres.  My mother has 11 siblings and 38 nieces and nephews.  I can’t and I’m not inviting everyone.  The same goes for my stepmother who wants to invite her nieces, nephew and family friends 20 something year old children.  Sorry I don’t know them that well and add no value to OUR SPECIAL DAY. 

Post # 14
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee

I thought FI’s family would flip when we said no kids. There was a little shock/protest at the beginning but now everyone is fine about it. We haven’t heard a peep about it since. I sent my STDs to Mr & Mrs _________ and I spoke directly to the one cousin who threw the biggest fit.

Post # 15
Member
2153 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Diamondgurl:  *sigh*

 

I have that exact thing on my RSVPs (number of places reserved etc )…and I STILL had/have some people (MOSTLY FIL’s friends…grrrrrrrrr) reply leaving the “please indicate how many of 2 will attend.____” ….blank spot blank….and simply writing in 3-4 NAMES on the name line to add their kids!!!

like really? yes i understand why you left it blank because it looks STUPID TO FILL IN MORE NUMBERS THEN HAVE BEEN ALLOTED…

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

 

Post # 16
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@shanbp:  WHAT! Can you beleive the nerve of people.

Well am a couple of months out, but I’ve been spreading the word through family.  The RSVO will be pre-filled as well as the number and not add another single solitary person, should be added.  

I’m sure people will say say something, but in that case.  Stay at HOME.

I may have to start taking meds, my fuse gonna get short……

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