(Closed) how do i say this politely so i dont come off as a b!%&h?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

It sounds like she just really wants you to have a party you like.  Could you give her just a couple ideas, maybe then she would back off and take care of the details?  Give her a couple suggestions for a restaurant or bars you want to go to…that might help her get started.  I totally understand you not wanting to plan a whole other party on top of the wedding, though!

Post # 4
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Hmm.. Well, answer all of her questions directly and she’ll stop asking you!  It sounds like she just wants it to be perfect for you.

Post # 5
99 posts
Worker bee

Oh gosh… is there another bm you can ask?


Or maybe, if this sounds like your thing, tell her you’d rather just do a simple at home party with a few bottles of wine and your BMs? Not really a full out on the town night?


Maybe your Maid/Matron of Honor is just worried you won’t have a good time with what she plans, and doesn’t want your memory of your party years down the line to be all “oooh… that was awful…”.



Post # 6
2682 posts
Sugar bee

Im sure she just is trying to plan a party that you will love and wants to plan what you will like 🙂  Just try telling her that while you appreciate her asking for suggestions and approval, you really want to be surprised by your bachelorette party and would prefer not to be involved with any of the planning other than the date.

Post # 7
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

My bm and moh asked the same thing. I just told them, “I”ll give you girls a list of my must invite and I want to be surprised, whatever we do its going to be a blast.” They laughed and tried to scare me saying they were going to take me strip club hopping lol.

Post # 8
1032 posts
Bumble bee

It sounds like she is excited and wants to make sure its exactly what you want. Perhaps she will take care of the nitty-gritty logistics and just wants your input. In that case maybe do it by email so its at your leisure instead of having the phone ringing at random times or interupting girl time with questions you dont feel like answering?

Post # 9
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

If you would really rather not have a party than have to plan one and you can’t deal with any more questions, suggest that you just want a girls night in, you don’t want to go anywhere b/c you don’t want to have to come up with ideas or plans, chances are she won’t want to that, especially if she’s been so into this, and you can again let her know your up for whatever you just really really really dont want to make ANY decisions!!!

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