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Sounds like there are a few "issues" you are bringing up. Without knowing more about your situation I can't give you any advice about getting people involved in the wedding. What I can do, though, is make a suggestion as far as starting out goes.
You and your FI need to sit down and discuss the budget. How much can you afford? Are your families going to assist? Once you have a number you can begin to envision your wedding. Which things are most important to you? these are the things you are probably going to want to spend more on. What is less important to you? Are there things you can DIY?
I really reccomend a site like the Knot (theknot.com). It has a place to help you organize your budget, keep track of things you like, keep track of your guest list(s), and even set up a free wedding website. Their to-do list will also give you a great idea of what there is to be done, and the timeline needed for different tasks.
Good luck!
MissRain
DSCN1013.jpg (61.9 KB, 45 downloads) 1 year old 4004f.jpg (40.3 KB, 47 downloads) 1 year old 
The people in your wedding don't want to be a part of it? So why are they in it?
Start with a budget first. Then move on to visions and ideas and make lists of what is important and what you can scrimp on. Unless you have 50K to blow, you'll need to be creative! You can DIY a LOT of things. It takes TIME. Lots of TIME. Take into consideration your skills and how good you are at stuff, and look up costs of things to see what you can pass on. For me, the invites I liked would have cost $400-$500 so I made my own for roughly $160....and with the leftover paper I did rehearsal dinner invites, programs, escort cards, and menus. First things first...start big then go small
I was in the same boat as you were when I was planning my destination wedding. It's definitely hard to know how much money you'll need to allocate to something, and everyone is different. I found a couple of resources: Real Simple magazine had a great issue out a few months ago about weddings, and I also bought The Wedding Book ($13.95 from amazon.com) and found them to be great resources. Both of these have a general "budget breakdown" that gives you some percentages for things you should allocate in your budget (like your reception should be ~50%, rings should be ~8% and so on). So what I did was I plugged all these percentages and items into an excel spreadsheet, and then figured out the actual monetary amount based on that percentage. The result is something that's not quite perfect, but it gave me a really good idea of a ballpark figure I had for each item in the wedding.
Also, if you're having your wedding in Hawaii, I would consider looking into hotels and resorts to host your wedding at, because it's a lot easier to plan a destination wedding when you go through a hotel or resort that helps you figure out all the details- they usually give you a planner of things you need to consider and all the food will be through them, so you don't have to worry about things like catering or setup. Plus it's kind of a focal area for guests to stay at, there are usually other tourist attractions around it, etc.
Good luck! Head into the "Destniation" folder if you need any more help :)
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Ok most of the people in my wedding are not wanting to be apart of it. I am having it in Hawaii, and i am doing it by my self. How do i kick it off. Like budget and set up? Any suggestions?