(Closed) How do I tell a vendor I choose not to use them?

posted 8 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
355 posts
Helper bee

i am stumped on this too! i met with a photographer that i really clicked with on a personal level (she’s a friend of a friend), but decided to go with someone else, and have been dreading letting her know…any tactful and super nice suggestions anyone??

Post # 4
Member
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Honestly, I don’t think you have to tell them anything.  They should not be holding a date for you unless you put down a deposit, so if they don’t hear from you again/get any money, they should assume you went elsewhere.  Maybe I’m just clueless about the whole thing, but I really don’t think you need to take any further action. 

Post # 5
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Absolutely!  You don’t need to tell her why you’ve chosen someone else, just that you have.  To be honest, with all of the vendors, unless they contact me, I haven’t told the ones we didn’t hire that they hadn’t been hired.  I felt horrible doing it so I avoided it all together.  Probably not nice.  But for those that followed up, with a very apologetic tone I’ve just said, “your work is wonderful and I thank you for meeting with us but we’ve decided to go with someone else.  I’ll be sure to pass your information along to my friends and family”.  It sucks!  And may not entirely be true but at least its kinda direct, in that they know we’re not using them but not direct enough for them to know WHY.  Who knows if this is the right way but thats the way I’ve stuck with so far!

Post # 6
Member
900 posts
Busy bee

I had to tell a makeup artist that I chose someone else.  I just called when I knew I could leave a message and I told her that I was going to be working with someone who was used to working with clients with darker skin tones.  That wasn’t true, but she had gone on and on during the trial about how she wasn’t used to doing makeup on someone so dark, so I used that as my reason for choosing someone else.  The real reason was that she made me look like a drag queen.

Post # 7
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We called the DJ and photographer that we decided not to use and just told them nicely.  The DJ asked for a reason, and we said honestly that we just clicked with the other guy a little better, not to mention that he was a little less expensive.  My FI said that the photographer was sort of a jerk when we said we were going with someone else, but I think it’s a nice courtesy to call people and let them know.

Post # 8
Member
350 posts
Helper bee

I think the wording provided by jennifer_espos is spot on.  That’s what we’ve used.  I had a tough time of it because one woman who did my makeup trial was also somewhat of a family friend.  She was soo nice and just trying to get her business off the ground but I just didn’t like her work!  I just left her a nice message saying “Thank you so much for your time, I loved your work but we decided to go with someone else.”  There’s not much else  you can do, I think…

Post # 9
Member
997 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - The Pierre Hotel

I was dragging my feet the first time I had to send a “decline” email to a vendor, but honestly I think they’d rather know and not hold the date for you/wonder.  I just  thanked them for their time and told them that we had decided to go with someone else.  In some cases they responded thanks and good luck!  Once you get the first one out of the way, it gets easier.  Smile

Post # 10
Member
618 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I’m not sure you need to give them a specific reason why you’ve decided to go with another vendor, but <span style=”text-decoration: underline;”>PLEASE make sure to be very nice and polite in your response – you never know what’s going to happen and you may need them!  Thank them for taking the time to meet with you and tell them how much you appreciate everything.   

When I was interviewing wedding coordinators, I interview around 5 people and they were all really great, but we finally decided on one.  I told all the others that I decided to go with someone else, but I did not give a reason or anything.  But I tried to make sure I let them know that I was appreciative of their time.  It turned out that the wedding planner we chose ended up not working out for us and we had to go back to one of the others and ask if she’d still be interested in working with us.  Thank goodness I was nice to her!!  She said yes and she ended up being beyond fantastic. 

Post # 11
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I didn’t inform vendors that I hadn’t, but if I could do it again, I would have… Especially the ones that I almost chose, but didn’t for some very specific reason.

For instance, we looked at a photographer who had several sample albums, but all with pictures from the same wedding, and all the photos on their website were from that wedding too – the photos were good, but we were concerned about their experience, and whether they had done a good job at more than one wedding. I wish I had mentioned it to them when we decided not to go with them, so that maybe they could adjust their publicity materials.

There also was a florist that seemed really good, and then at the end of our meeting, they asked who else I was considering and trash-talked the other florist I was looking at (too avante-garde, not as experienced, blah blah blah). It was really off-putting, and I crossed them off the list. They might want to hear that.

Anyway, if you were really serious about the other florist, you might consider sending them some praise and some tough love, to let them know that you really loved their work, but went with another vendor because x, y, and z.

Post # 12
Member
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Um ya just say i’m sorry I’ve decided to go in a different direction, thank you for you time. Good luck in the future.

Post # 13
Member
1956 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

I don’t think you need to contact them unless you gave anyone the impression you would definitely be using them…it’s a nice thing to do but not necessary…I also wouldn’t stress about it too much, this is business, after all! For every meeting a vendor has, they probably only get a contract for half of those meetings, at the most! They’re used to rejection, they can handle it and for the most part, probably expect it…So don’t stress about it, just be polite, use price as the excuse if you want to and that’s all you need to do 🙂

Post # 14
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

Okay since my job deals with this I’d say please shoot them an email letting them know you’ve decided to go a different direction. Oftentimes we will hold your wedding day for you as a courtesy (I usually hold it for like 7 days or whatever) and will send a reminder email that hey your day is held please pay a deposit or something like that. And I’d definitely want to know if something that I had done was offputting or rude or something like that.

Post # 15
Member
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I would actually tell her the reasons WHY you chose to go with someone else. If she’s trying to grow her business, she needs to know why for $1000 more you went with another florist. You need to change in order to grow. Perhaps she needs to learn to be more intune with what the client wants vs what she wants to do? How will she ever get better if she doesn’t know there’s anything wrong?

If you go my route, Thank her for her time & explain to her exactly what you said to us. The other florist “got” your overall vision better. 🙂

It’s business.

Post # 16
Member
4567 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I agree with RecessionaistaBride… I would tell her *why* you chose the other florist even though she was much more expensive. That way she can improve on what she lacked. No one is above the learning curve and it would help her out to know! Word it in a way that you would like to be told that you need a little more practice.

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