How do I tell my fiancé I don't want his sister involved?

posted 2 weeks ago in Family
Post # 16
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Tell your FI to grow up and learn that he is marrying you and not his sister.

Also.. planning a wedding isnt rocket science.. she didn’t fly to the moon she planned a party. 

Next time she is vocal say that you appreciate her input but this is your and fiances day and you have your own ideas, themes, flowers etc in mind 

Also pre-rsvp date? stupidest thing I heard.

Post # 17
1352 posts
Bumble bee

I think you just have to calmly explain to your fiance how you are feeling. I would assume his sister is just trying to be helpful. After all, almost every bride has a few “I wish I knew ______” after wedding planning is over. You can do all the research, careful planning, read a million magazines, but there will still be things you could/should have done differently. Often they’re nothing majob, but definately things that married ladies like to pass on to brides during their wedding planning.  Unfortunately, when this advice is unsolicited and pushy, it gets frustrating fast. 

Your fiance is looking at it from a somewhat logical standpoint: I have never planned a wedding, I know someone who just did, let me ask them. I think a lot of men don’t realize how special and fun it can be to the bride to do all the research on her own and pick things on their own. He thinks he is being helpful and pragmatic, you feel annoyed.

Welcome to marriage. You will have 1000000 conversations like this for the rest of your life. Buying a house, remodeling a house, getting pregnant, having a baby, raising kids, switching careers, etc. Planning a wedding is just the first big event you will handle as a couple, so learn to communicate and compromise now. I would strongly advise you NOT to tell your fiance “I don’t want your sister involved”. While I understand what you mean, he will probably hear something much different. Instead, explain to him how you feel. That YOU want to pick things, you appreciate her willingness to help, but ultimately you and FI should be calling the shots. Tell him you feel his sister is being a little overbearing, and you’re feeling like you can’t plan your own wedding. Don’t just say- I don’t want your sister involved. 

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