Post # 1
Hi all! I have a big dilemma. I have five sisters and my fiancee one sister. I am having a destination wedding with about 50 guests. I never wanted a big wedding with a big wedding party. I don’t like the idea of having 6-7 bridesmaid for a small wedding of 45-50 guests. I would like to have my sister as my Maid/Matron of Honor and my niece (18 years old) as my bridesmaid. How do I tell my other sisters? I was a flower girl at their weddings (was too young to be a bridesmaid) but they all had a big wedding.
NOW my other big dilemma is my fiancees sister. She is his only sister, she is single and 40 years old. How would you feel if you were not invited to be a bridesmaid at your only brothers wedding? I am thinking of asking her to read two biblical passages during the ceremony and to present a small speech during the party but I don’t want her as a bridesmaid, but I want her to feel included and important. The problem is that she is already assuming she will be a bridesmaid.
This is my day and I want the wedding ti be as I planned but I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
The color of the wedding is navy and my maid of honor and bridesmaid would wear the same dress but the maid of honor would wear something to distinguish her. I was thinking of telling my sister in law to choose her own dress in navy. Please help!!!!! Thanks xoxo
Post # 3
I have 5 sisters and I didn’t have any of them as BM’s at my first wedding. I also didn’t want a large wedding party.
I think it would go over better if you phrased it more positively. Instead of ” I don’t want my sisters or SIL as BM’s” try ” I have always wanted a small wedding and have chosen ___ as my MOH and ____ as my BM”.
I don’t think many FSIL’s would expect to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man at age 40. She should be mature enough to undertand the dilemna brides face.
Post # 4
I think they will be understanding maybe you can have them involved in some way as readers, greeters, or a speech at the wedding?
Post # 5
I think that your Future Sister-In-Law should be mature enough to realize that if you aren’t even having all of your own sisters in your wedding party that she wouldn’t be in it either. Just tell everyone that you’re having a small destination wedding and it seems silly to have 7 people standing with you.
Post # 6
I think the fact that you are keeping things very small and only having a Maid/Matron of Honor and one niece (whom I presume you’re extremely close to, and everyone knows it?) will make it easier. It would be tougher for your sisters to accept it if, say, you were having four friends as BMs but no sisters … under the circumstances, though, I think that if you are clear about wanting a small wedding party and about wanting them to be involved as readers, etc., they will understand.
Post # 7
My Fiance has 9 Groomsmen and his one brother wasn’t choosen to be a Groomsmen. It’s perfectly acceptable. Is it bad advice to just not bring it up around her? Do you see/spend time with her often? if she asks about the wedding use that as the opportunity to ask her to be involved in the ceremony. As for your sisters if they ask just state the truth. Your reason is acceptable. Maybe because it is a Destination Wedding you could say I wasn’t sure if you all could make it?