Post # 1
Let me preface this by saying I understand (and already have) made up many reasons why some gifts have been greatly useful even though they haven’t.
A friend of mine and I had a text message exchange before the wedding where she asked me if I was planning to change my name and I said “NO, DEFINITELY NOT”. In addition, we’ve known each other for years, and I’ve mentioned on multiple occasions that I am not changing my name.
Wedding day arrives and ALL I got from her are mugs, pillowcases and bath and soap with Mrs. X all over it.
I just feel stupid saying “thanks for all this great stuff to personalize my home with” because if she goes and reads our text exchange, she’ll know it was all a lie. (we have not texted each other since)
I don’t think I’m being ungrateful – if she hadn’t ASKED about it, I wouldn’t really care. I just feel like she should have known!
This is my last thank you card and I’ve been putting it off because I have no idea what to write. I’d like some advice on how to word this. Thanks.
Post # 3
Thank you for your thoughtful gift.
I wouldn’t say anything about how useful they are, etc
Post # 4
Just thank her for the gifts and be done with it. You don’t have to mention that they are incorrectly personalized. You can still use them and I guarantee you will think of her every time you do.
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
“It was so wonderful to see you at the wedding. Hubby and I were so happy you could be a part of our special day. Thank you for your lovely wedding gifts-I’ve already used the soap and it smells great!”- or something like that- focusing more sharing the day than what she gave.
And you can always see if your MIL or SIL would like the Mrs. X items.
Post # 6
@bride3343: Is this friend prone toward sarcasm? To me, if someone KNOWS that you are not changing your name and then gives you that type of a gift, it seems as if the person truly intended to shock you with her gift. The reason I am asking this is that my recommended wording would be different based upon your answer.
Post # 7
Ugh, I don’t understand people like this. Let’s say she forgot that you told her over the years that you are not changing your last name, and then she sends you the text AFTER she bought the personalized items and thought, crap(!) because she couldn’t afford to get a new set or something else… she should have just let you know that she’s sorry her gift says “Mrs. X” and she bought it after she had texted you. At least then, I’m sure it would have gone over much better with you when you and you wouldn’t have cared. Not gonna lie, I’d be annoyed too. I’m assuming she is shy or embarrassed to say anything to you because I can’t understand why she wouldn’t just bring it up and say, yea, hey sorry about the personalization, especially if you’ve been friends for a while.
In terms of the thank you card, just say:
“Thank you for the mugs, soap, and pillowcases and for attending our special day with us. It was great having you there celebrating alongside us.”
I wouldn’t say anything about how you love the gifts or how they’re thoughtful, or that you are looking forward to using them.
Post # 8
Just say thanks for the gift but don’t elaborate on how much you like it or where you’ll use it (since that probably won’t be true).
Post # 9
just look at in even though you aren’t legally mrs. x – that you belong to sweety lovely hubby =]
if i read this right. it kinda confused me.
Post # 11
haha! I actually received only 1 personalized gift for the wedding from someone I don’t know well…and they really butchered it. On the invitation we had our first and middle names, like Parents A and Parents B invite you to the wedding of their children “Jane Anne and John George”….only DH’s middle name is ‘Harris’ which is typically a last name so one person seriously misinterpreted and gave us something that said “Mr and Mrs Harris” on it (and I ALSO didn’t take his last name! I certainly didn’t change it to his middle name!)….we just wrote “thank you so much for the lovely gift, we will think of you everytime we look at it”
Post # 12
@bride3343: were they store wrapped? maybe she went and changed the order with the store and they accidentally printed out the other name, ie she had told them one name, checked with you and changed it and then the store made the mistake? Because she cared enough to check first so she must have wanted to get it right.
Post # 13
Is it possible she bought the gifts before that exchange of texts? I would just assume that is the case. Sometimes it’s the best policy to assume people mean the best.
Just thank her for her gifts. Even though I changed my name so I can’t directly relate, I always figure that inside your own home you are still “Mrs. X” so (I think) I would still like that sort of gift.
Post # 14
That’s poopy. I didn’t change my name either (despite my spouse’s constant attempts to get me to do so)… I would not appreciate things that said my spouse’s last name *sigh*.
I agree with the folks who said gloss over it… thanks for coming to share the day with us and celebrate. Thanks for your gift.
@paula1248: I know you said you can’t relate, so I thought I would mention that I never, ever think of myself as Mrs.X, in the same way I highly doubt my spouse thinks of himself as Mr. Y. (Not sure that reads very well, I just thought I would give you my own point of view. Others may think of themselves the way you mentioned, I’m not sure.)
Post # 15
Just write something nice about the gift itself as if they weren’t personalized.
It is strange that she would have gone through the trouble to get things personalized when she knew you didn’t want to be Mrs.X.
Post # 16
My MIL personalized bottles of wine for us. And spelled my name wrong. Not quite the same, I know… and I can still enjoy the contents, but the labels make me cringe! (She did figure it out, and said “whoops!” after we opened them, but I had kind of figured MIL would spell my name right! Especially since DH has an oddly spelled name.)
I thanked her for the wine as if there was nothing wrong with the personalization. It’s the easiest and “nicest” way to handle the situation, and probably the best option for you too. “Thank you for your kind gifts. I’ll think of you everytime I sip coffee from my mug!”
If your friend just “forgot” she’ll likely be embarrassed when she realizes/remembers that you are remaining Ms. Y. If she was being odd, catty or judgemental for whatever crazy reason, then you’re being the bigger person by not acknowledging her transgression. And if she just thought you’d be happy to be a “Mrs. X” in the privacy of your own home, even though you’ll remain a Ms. Y in the professional world, then you don’t want to damage your relationship over the misunderstanding. Even if she is a bit odd.