how do i word that i want money instead of presents and where do I announce it?

posted 3 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
1116 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Generally you don’t announce it anywhere, you spread it via word of mouth. So you tell your bridal party, your parents, FI’s parents that you prefer cash because you’re saving up for XYZ and your current place is too small for a ton of gifts or whatever. In some circles it may be okay to put “Presentation” on the card (the only place I’ve ever heard that being ‘acceptable’ is in my home province), but even that can be dicey. 

Post # 4
Member
42546 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@brideanjeza:  To answer your question- you don’t. If you don’t want physical gifts then don’t register. People will get the message. You can ask close family to spread the word if anyone asks, but you don’t volunteer such information. Gifts are optional.

Post # 5
Member
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

You need to get a billboard by the side of the biggest highway near your house.  

Post # 7
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@brideanjeza:  You’ve been on the bee a little while, so I’m kind of surprised you don’t already know the answer you’re going to get. 

Proper answer: Don’t register. People will assume you want cash.

Not proper, but I’ve seen it answer: Put a card in the invitation suite about having a “wishing well”. This is not super common in the US, but apparently is done other places. 

Post # 8
Member
8917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Honeymoon registry will do the trick. Some people might get offended though. (I wouldn’t.)

Post # 9
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@brideanjeza:  I think it depends on your guest list….

I had a pocketfold invitation, and in the pocket I had a “Directions” card, the RSVP postcard, and an “Additional Information” card which had our wedding website, plus a note explaining that we already have all the customary items needed to start a home, and that we hope to buy a house in the near future; all cash gifts will go toward purchasing a house to call our very own, or something like that…

Sooo we were pretty up front about it! I also included information on the FHA Bridal Registry program which we had set up an account for.

We also had a small registry set up at Bed Bath and Beyond for anyone who did not feel comfortable giving cash…

However, EVERYONE thought it was a really great idea and was very supportive! We didn’t get any non-cash gifts.  We DID get a lot of curious friends and family asking about the program because they knew someone who was also getting married soon and wanted to spread the word.

 

I know that asking for cash is “against etiquette” but I personally think it’s only dependent on who your guests are.  If your guests know you, and understand you, they’re not going to think of you as “rude.” Especially if you explain what the cash is for, and if you provide a small “back-up” registry for any guests who are uncomfortable. 🙂

 

Post # 10
Member
1931 posts
Buzzing bee

You don’t. EVER. 

The word “money” or “gifts” should never be included in the invitation. Either register for a few little things or don’t register at all. People aren’t that stupid, they’ll get the hint.

Post # 11
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I personally think it’s a bad idea to just NOT register… two of my friends got married recently and chose not to register or say anything about wanting cash, in hopes that guests would assume they want cash since they did not have a registry…

One wound up with about 6 sets of towels, more tupperware than you could fill in a lifetime, lots of photo frames, and other stuff they did not need.

The other wound up with a rug (??), some lamps that don’t match their decor, and a ton of photo frames and vases, and other things they didn’t need either.

The second friend had TRIED doing the “word of mouth” thing but afterward, had guests say “I HEARD you wanted cash, but since I never heard anything from you, I wasn’t sure, so I got you a nice photo frame so you can put a photo from the wedding in!”

 

 

I don’t understand why anyone still thinks it’s poor etiquette to just be forthcoming and HONEST…. :/ If you’re inviting people who know you and love you, they should understand on SOME level.

Post # 12
Member
2851 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You don’t. Never tell guests you want money… If anything don’t create a resgistry, they will get the idea.

Post # 13
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@brideanjeza:  Don’t have a registry and spread it via word of mouth through the bridal party and parents. You don’t say what you want to anyone but let people say it for you when guests ask. Of course if someone says to you directly “Do you have a registry? What do you want?” You can say you are saving up for XYZ and are just focusing on that and they will probably get the hint! 

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors