- 4 years ago
- Wedding: December 2013
I just want to careful…dont want to sound crass!
I just want to careful…dont want to sound crass!
Generally you don’t announce it anywhere, you spread it via word of mouth. So you tell your bridal party, your parents, FI’s parents that you prefer cash because you’re saving up for XYZ and your current place is too small for a ton of gifts or whatever. In some circles it may be okay to put “Presentation” on the card (the only place I’ve ever heard that being ‘acceptable’ is in my home province), but even that can be dicey.
@brideanjeza: To answer your question- you don’t. If you don’t want physical gifts then don’t register. People will get the message. You can ask close family to spread the word if anyone asks, but you don’t volunteer such information. Gifts are optional.
You need to get a billboard by the side of the biggest highway near your house.
@brideanjeza: You’ve been on the bee a little while, so I’m kind of surprised you don’t already know the answer you’re going to get.
Proper answer: Don’t register. People will assume you want cash.
Not proper, but I’ve seen it answer: Put a card in the invitation suite about having a “wishing well”. This is not super common in the US, but apparently is done other places.
Honeymoon registry will do the trick. Some people might get offended though. (I wouldn’t.)
@brideanjeza: I think it depends on your guest list….
I had a pocketfold invitation, and in the pocket I had a “Directions” card, the RSVP postcard, and an “Additional Information” card which had our wedding website, plus a note explaining that we already have all the customary items needed to start a home, and that we hope to buy a house in the near future; all cash gifts will go toward purchasing a house to call our very own, or something like that…
Sooo we were pretty up front about it! I also included information on the FHA Bridal Registry program which we had set up an account for.
We also had a small registry set up at Bed Bath and Beyond for anyone who did not feel comfortable giving cash…
However, EVERYONE thought it was a really great idea and was very supportive! We didn’t get any non-cash gifts. We DID get a lot of curious friends and family asking about the program because they knew someone who was also getting married soon and wanted to spread the word.
I know that asking for cash is “against etiquette” but I personally think it’s only dependent on who your guests are. If your guests know you, and understand you, they’re not going to think of you as “rude.” Especially if you explain what the cash is for, and if you provide a small “back-up” registry for any guests who are uncomfortable. 🙂
You don’t. EVER.
The word “money” or “gifts” should never be included in the invitation. Either register for a few little things or don’t register at all. People aren’t that stupid, they’ll get the hint.
I personally think it’s a bad idea to just NOT register… two of my friends got married recently and chose not to register or say anything about wanting cash, in hopes that guests would assume they want cash since they did not have a registry…
One wound up with about 6 sets of towels, more tupperware than you could fill in a lifetime, lots of photo frames, and other stuff they did not need.
The other wound up with a rug (??), some lamps that don’t match their decor, and a ton of photo frames and vases, and other things they didn’t need either.
The second friend had TRIED doing the “word of mouth” thing but afterward, had guests say “I HEARD you wanted cash, but since I never heard anything from you, I wasn’t sure, so I got you a nice photo frame so you can put a photo from the wedding in!”
I don’t understand why anyone still thinks it’s poor etiquette to just be forthcoming and HONEST…. :/ If you’re inviting people who know you and love you, they should understand on SOME level.
You don’t. Never tell guests you want money… If anything don’t create a resgistry, they will get the idea.
@brideanjeza: Don’t have a registry and spread it via word of mouth through the bridal party and parents. You don’t say what you want to anyone but let people say it for you when guests ask. Of course if someone says to you directly “Do you have a registry? What do you want?” You can say you are saving up for XYZ and are just focusing on that and they will probably get the hint!
@peachacid: wow good luck to your new husband. he might soon have a billboard by your house seeking a new wife-you know a the pleasant kind.
@excitedtobeMRSF: thank you guys! my cousin included it in her mywedding website. it seemed to have been received well. you know, with hte back story and such. guess i was just lookin for what others may have done. presents are sort of unspoken thing and i would rahter get something i am in need of.
@MexiPino: just clueless about weddings!
@lovelove1028: sounds great!