I am trying to make and insert for my invitations that tell guests not to bring a gift to my very small, intimate home wedding. I just can't do it eloquently for some reason. How do I tell my wonderful friends, who I know will want to bring a gift, that it is not necessary? My fiance and I really just want people to come share the special day with us and not worry about bringing anything. The only thing that pops into my head for some reason is "please don't bring a gift." But that doesn't seem to convey it the way I want to.
traditionally speaking, etiquette dictates that no mention of gifts or registries should be included with the invitation. this likely extends to pleas for no gifts.
we did register, but discouraged people from feeling obligated to give gifts (we don't need a ton of stuff and many people are spending a lot to fly to our wedding).
if you have a website, you could include a registry section and explain that you are having a small wedding and that you're not registering as the gift of their time and love is enough (or some such thing). you can also have the parents and wedding party spread the word that you are serious about no gifts.
however you handle it (word of mouth, web, other), it is probably best to leave it off the invites - it then appears that you are presuming they will give you a gift and you are, in effect, turning it down. not at all your sentiment, but hard to convey in just a few words.
But I agree that you should leave it off the invitation and I think the Idea of a donation is WONDERFUL.
If you're worried about how to tell ppl just spread with old fashion word of the mouth. If ppl ask you just simply tell them their presence is all you want and if the insist bring up the charity donation... ask your friends and family to say the same :)
I also vote for just letting people know, if you're really requesting that they give you nothing. Another good idea is to request something meaningful that won't cost much. For instance, you could have your parents let people know that you have everything you need, but would love it if they could take the time to find any photos they might have of either one of you, or to write up a favorite memory of time spent with you, or experience from their own marriage, so that it could all be put together into a nice scrap book for you. This gives people something to do, and bring, that doesn't cost much and yet still lets them feel they are doing something for you.
I am trying to make and insert for my invitations that tell guests not to bring a gift to my very small, intimate home wedding. I just can't do it eloquently for some reason. How do I tell my wonderful friends, who I know will want to bring a gift, that it is not necessary? My fiance and I really just want people to come share the special day with us and not worry about bringing anything. The only thing that pops into my head for some reason is "please don't bring a gift." But that doesn't seem to convey it the way I want to.
posted by wendysu 1 posts 4 months agotraditionally speaking, etiquette dictates that no mention of gifts or registries should be included with the invitation. this likely extends to pleas for no gifts.
we did register, but discouraged people from feeling obligated to give gifts (we don't need a ton of stuff and many people are spending a lot to fly to our wedding).
if you have a website, you could include a registry section and explain that you are having a small wedding and that you're not registering as the gift of their time and love is enough (or some such thing). you can also have the parents and wedding party spread the word that you are serious about no gifts.
however you handle it (word of mouth, web, other), it is probably best to leave it off the invites - it then appears that you are presuming they will give you a gift and you are, in effect, turning it down. not at all your sentiment, but hard to convey in just a few words.
posted by missm 485 posts 4 months agoI would say leave it off the invites, but otherwise a great phrase is:
Your presence, not presents is requested.
Or you could always tell people a charity to donate to if they really want to get you something.
posted by KSW 29 posts 4 months agoAnother way to word what KSW said is:
Your Presence is Present enough.
But I agree that you should leave it off the invitation and I think the Idea of a donation is WONDERFUL.
If you're worried about how to tell ppl just spread with old fashion word of the mouth. If ppl ask you just simply tell them their presence is all you want and if the insist bring up the charity donation... ask your friends and family to say the same :)
posted by AliCherri1 56 posts 4 months agoI would leave it off and if you're asked, then you can tell people that y'all are requesting no gifts or donations to their favorite charity.
posted by KateMW 483 posts 4 months agoI also vote for just letting people know, if you're really requesting that they give you nothing. Another good idea is to request something meaningful that won't cost much. For instance, you could have your parents let people know that you have everything you need, but would love it if they could take the time to find any photos they might have of either one of you, or to write up a favorite memory of time spent with you, or experience from their own marriage, so that it could all be put together into a nice scrap book for you. This gives people something to do, and bring, that doesn't cost much and yet still lets them feel they are doing something for you.
posted by suzanno 1,978 posts 4 months agomy friend wrote at the bottom of his invitation "no gifts please"
posted by superstar 156 posts 4 months ago