(Closed) How do we balance opposite needs? Need advice

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I think you may be able to help yourself, but it will require you to step out of your comfort zone a bit. You like knitting, so take a knitting class at a craft store or community college. You like reading, so how about looking online or at your local library to find a book club. Maybe volunteer at a senior center or nursing home to read to/do puzzles/knit with/etc. the older folks. And if there aren’t any knitting classes or book clubs or whatnot, start one of your own! I think the phrase “Be the change that you want to see” really applies to your situation. And if you start taking care of your social need, maybe that will allow your Fiance more alone time to decompress on his own.

Post # 4
1308 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I completely agree with lovekiss. You may have to venture out of your comfort zone, but there are plenty of things you can do to meet people with similar interests. I took a sewing class once and met a ton of awesome people.

I do completely understand where you are coming from though. I was in that position once, however, it was the opposite way around. I was working retail, hating my job, hating people, etc. while my ex bf was jobless and stayed home all day alone doing whatever he wanted. So by the time I got home, he was ready to go do something, and I was ready to kill the next person who spoke to me.

I would suggest trying to go out and meet people as mentioned before, stepping out of your comfort zone, and then when it comes to Fiance. I have a couple ideas. One, perhaps give him a certain amount of time once he gets home to decompress and what not– then maybe do something low key at home together (watch a movie, make dinner or a snack, etc) so that you’re still relaxing, but still spending time together. Then, for the occasional boost of fun, maybe every couple of weeks each of you plan a surprise date night where the other has no idea what you’re planning. It’s a chance to surprise each other, get out of the house, perhaps do something you normally wouldn’t, etc.

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