- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
Sorry in advance for the long post, but I need help…
My FI and I have been together for 4 years, engaged since January. His family likes me as a person, but disapprove of us getting married since he’s Jewish and I’m Christian. It took a couple months but we finally sat down with them and respectfully explained how we plan to handle an interfaith marriage and let them voice their disappointment and concern. Nothing had really changed by the end of the conversation; they were still very unhappy but haven’t refused to be involved.
Meanwhile, my parents, both very devout Christians, are sad and worried I’m not marrying a Christian, but they have chosen to give us their full support. I think this is mostly because my mom’s parents tried to stop her from marrying my dad and it was hell for them. They are trying to be understanding of how hard it must be for my FI’s Jewish family.
And the last bit of relevant background…
A little background…My FI and I have know each other since we were in elementary school, we were friends in high school, then we reconnected after college, so our parents kind of knew each other from the past, and they’ve seen each other at my FI’s shows (he’s a musician and both our parents come out to support from time to time). I tried to casually get our families together for dinner one time a year ago before a show, but his parents showed up an hour late, pretty much ignored my family…kind of a disaster.
So now the question is…do we try and get our parents together now? My family wants to throw an engagement party and invite my FILs, my FI thinks they might just see it as an insult. Either they won’t come, or they’ll come and be insulted by my family (like if they see crosses up in my house or my grandpa prays in Jesus’ name before dinner). It’s probably best to get them together privately, in a neutral location, before any larger celebration, but…how do we frame it? As a chance for them to get to know each other better, or a chance to clear the air? Or do we just skip the whole thing?
Final FYI is our parents live literally 3 blocks away from each other, in the same model floor plan, no less. And my FI and I are both close with our parents. So it’s not like inconvenience can be an excuse.