Post # 1
I have found the most awesome location here – http://www.mooreandmoorecafe.com but dates is the hardest thing in the world right now –
- Parents are overseas end of 2014
- Fi doesn’t want to me stop uni for this, I graduate in 4 years!!!
(ill be 29/30 and it would be a total of 11 years together which I am not keen, i’m impatient now)
- I have my uni break Dec 1 2014 – mid Feb 2015
(perfect for our wedding / honeymoon but pretty darn warm in Australia)
- Fi wants a long engagement. I can’t say that I do anymore. I did but it’s a bit too exciting. He said March 2015 is okay. we agreeded on 2 years then wedding originally
- We have a buget of 15K total but a rough guest list is 120 people +
- Fi wants it close to home or within 30 min drive
- Fi is being annoying ha ha
I dont want to deal with inviting everyone inc people on his sports team, seating allocations, angry mothers, stressing over stupid stuff or the costs that come with a wedding (can i get a boo to 30% markup!)
Keeping this all in mind, how do we pull off an engagement party thats a surprise wedding (Fis awesome idea), or do we skip that and just have the wedding with all the drama I am not looking forward too…
Post # 3
I think it would be a lot less drama to plan a wedding than it would be to call it an engagement party and then surprise everyone by saying it’s a wedding. Many people might not go out of their way for an engagement party and would be disappointed to find out it’s actually a wedding.
Also, planning a wedding doesn’t have to be super stressful. Keep the guest list low, pay for it yourself to avoid meddling mothers, and it will be okay.
Post # 4
I do just want to agree with pp. An engagement party holds NO WHERE near the importance to me as a wedding. If my grandson was in some district playoffs and you were having an e-party the same day, I’m going to the playoffs. If it was your wedding, I’d have to ponder that more seriously and try to do both.
I just want you to really think about that and whether or not you could be let down by someone not attending what they really think is an e-party, but in reality is missing your wedding. That could cause some hurt feelings for them too!
Just really look at the big picture and all the players when you decide this is what you feel is best.
Post # 5
Thanks. I am beginning to think that’s going to be too hard. FI just keeps coming up with all this other crap he wants and then shuts down after he realises how much it will costs that’s why we wanted a party as there are many people we couldnt afford at a full blown wedding. But I suppose we could just do what we are doing as a wedding couldn’t we. Cocktail is just as good as sit down.
Gives us more options, even tho I really like the place I found.
Post # 6
Have you considered doing a family only wedding? This might be the way to go so no friends of yours, his, or your mutual friends have no hurt feelings about not being invited. It could keep the numbers down.
Post # 7
@Ap2010: yeah that crossed my mind but I love my friends more than family ha ha.
We can have it anytime during the year now which is good but now he really wants the “surprise wedding” which I can’t understand we can do after nearly two years of being engaged. How do I keep that a secret and how do people actually turn up for it….
Post # 8
@Shonzilla: I love my friends more then family as well but friends come and go. Family is with you forever.
Post # 9
@Ap2010: haha. Suppose Just wouldn’t be the same without them.
hes more annoyed about not having a surprise wedding / engagement party now. He got a lump sum from work so is a bit happier. Can’t please him ha!
I just don’t know how we could pull it off 1.5 years from now.
Post # 10
We are having a 2.5 year engagement. Honestly, the longer time I’ve had to plan everything the less stress I’ve had. We are coming up on a year for being engaged, and there is no way I could’ve planned everything in a year. But I’m a bit of a procrastinator and take awhile sometimes to make up my mind on things.
Post # 11
@Tarheelgurl: I wish I was a procrastinator, I could have this planned in 6 months haha. I have no problem with the long engagement which I am happy for as I really should be focusing on other things but the issue at hand is that Fi wants to have an enagement party May 2015 that is actually a surprise wedding, which I dont see how we can pull off being so far away from our actual engagement.