how do you and your husband manage money?

posted 3 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

He pays his own car payment and whatever little payments he has set up like his gym membership and his XBox live. All other joint bills I pay, and he sends me a portion of whatever his half of that amounts to between his two paychecks a month. My personal bills he does not pay toward, like my student loans.

We keep our own spending money, but when we’re out either I’ll pay or he’ll pay. It depends on who has more money that week.

As long as no one feels taken advantage of and it works for you guys, who cares! I like having my own money too. My dad was VERY controlling so I’m hyper-sensitive to anyone controlling my money. FH likes having his own money too, then I don’t judge him if he blows his spending money eating cheeseburgers and buying video games if that’s what he wants lol

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 5
Member
5222 posts
Bee Keeper

@bebero:  our accounts are completely merged, but we did not do this until after we were married. The reason is, with him being a veteran, he also banks/does general business with USAA ( which we love). We also liked the transparency of sharing an account. Luckily, this has worked for us, and we both have pretty similiar spending/shopping and saving habits. 

Post # 6
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

we are going to keep everything separate but have 1 joint account,

the joint account will have all of our wedding money.

then we will each put in a certain percentage each month to cover living expenses.

say i make $90k and FI makes $50k

so i make 64% and he makes 36%

so we need to put that amount in.  if 1 months living expenses are $2000, then i put in $1280 and he puts in $720 each month.

 

 

Post # 8
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Exactly the same as you J We’re lucky that our house is paid off, and we split the bills like I’ll pay for cable, he’ll pay the power bill etc… As my FH makes like 3 times my salary, he usually pays for the bigger stuff (like when we needed new eavesdrops) and I take care of things like groceries, etc.

I was married before and my ex & I had a joint account where our paycheques would go. We made about the same salary. It didn’t work for me at all… there was a lot of resentment over who spent what.

Post # 9
Member
896 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

@bebero:  

we have everything together and have always since the moment we got married.  I went to law school after we got married, and he just put all his money and what I made working part time in the same account.  We paid all bills and saved using that money.  We are in the same page when it comes to money, and although I now make more than he does, it does not make a difference to us ’cause we speak of what “we make.”  We do not have “play money” or separate accounts.  We pay my law school loans (I do not owe much) using joint money….

Post # 10
Member
3355 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

we have joint checking, joint savings. credit cards are each in our own names, and we have no access to each other’s credit statements, but the cards are paid off from the same accounts. We only discuss one item purchases over $100 (like a new $200 tablet or a pair of $150 sunglasses) but multiple purchases totalling $100 or more are not. Both paychecks go into one account. I keep an eye on the accounts, watching transactions daily, he watches just his credit card – it’s because I handle all our bills. When we’re unsure about where a certain charge came from, we ask the other.

we merged accounts after I graduated college and basically moved in with him 🙂 I can’t see how I would do it any other way.

 

Post # 11
Member
13003 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

We did it the same as you for a while, just kept all our accounts that we had and kind of split things up.  It was easy since we make about the same, so like one of us would take the mortgage, and the other took everything else.  Then my husband got tired of doing mental math and having to add up our checkings accounts to get the “real” balance so we combined it all.  It still works just fine.  We don’t really budget or have a problem with spending so nothing changed after combining it all.

Post # 12
Member
6073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

H and I merged money after engagement.  That is also when I moved in.  I got rid of all my debt after 2 month of living together, and that’s when I put my paycheck in his checking as we were now living in his house where all the bills were coming from already.

H makes about 2.5 more than I do, yet it’s always our money.  We contribute to several individual retirement accounts (IRA, 401a, HSA; 457b).  In theory he’s putting some of his paycheck into mine as we’re just pulling it from the same pot.

I have taken vacations alone and it just comes from the joint checking.  We have a spending limit of $500, so buy whatever you want but consult the other if it’s over $500.  We don’t actually go out and each spend $1000 every month because we’re not typically spenders.

I do all the short term stuff, like tracking our expenses, sending H a monthly graph of our expense/income and trends.  He does more long term planning like early retirement.  We talk about money weekly.

It works out so well for us.  I have no complaints.  We’re on the same page out saving, expenses, spending.  I believe a great good can be accomplished when you pool your money together in a team like fashion.

 

This is coming from someone who was married before and did not merge money.

Post # 13
Member
2308 posts
Buzzing bee

SO earns all the money. Working makes me super anxious because I have anxiety problems. I’m working on getting SSI. I should have applied years ago, but it is what it is.

SO and I have a joint bank account. We have equal access to all the money. He treats his money as our money.

We aren’t married, btw.

We have been doing things this way for a few years. Our 9th anniversary is on July 4th.

When I do get money coming in (probably through SSI), SO said he wants things to stay as they are i.e. him paying for everything. So, that will be my money. I’ll probably put it into savings.

Post # 14
Member
2308 posts
Buzzing bee

SO earns all the money. Working makes me super anxious because I have anxiety problems. I’m working on getting SSI. I should have applied years ago, but it is what it is.

SO and I have a joint bank account. We have equal access to all the money. He treats his money as our money.

We aren’t married, btw.

We have been doing things this way for a few years. Our 9th anniversary is on July 4th.

When I do get money coming in (probably through SSI), SO said he wants things to stay as they are i.e. him paying for everything. So, that will be my money. I’ll probably put it into savings.

Post # 15
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

FI and I are going to merge our accounts when we get married, but we already consider what we make “our money.” As of right now, I am using what I make to pay for our wedding & his income is going towards remodeling the house we bought so that it will be ready for us to move into once we say “I do!” 🙂 In the meantime we are just splitting the house & insurance payments. I’ll probably be the one to keep track of it all once we are married, but I don’t suspect that there will be any big issues. We aren’t very big spenders and we always discuss purchases with each other.

Post # 16
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

The way we manage money is pretty simple. What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine. But anything over 40 we have to check with the other first. (certain exceptions but rare). And I manage it all sense frankly, he sucks at handling money period. So I set the genral budget, manage the bills, and day to day expences. (along with more long term items…washing machine, another car, ect)

 

It works for the most part. I don’t get stressed and he knows what his allowances are. I think it helped with the transition tho when he was unemployeed for the first time and he was able to see how I was able keep both of us afloat on my income alone, because I was able to analize what we needed to cut back to do so without getting behind. After that even after he found a job I have never heard a word form him about it.

We have two banks accounts, mainly because of some issues with his child support that it is better for him to have one that his checks go into and another for everything else with just my name on it. (and yes he does pay child support they just seem to like to try and turn him into a marter, and yes I have been there and seen this for myself its insane and we are working on finding him a better attorney)

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