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Hi ladies,
Right now I a little upset with my SO because he changed the bill prices on me because he thought it would be fair that we split it 50/50.
Well I make good money, but my SO makes 66% more than I do . I wanted to slit bills up to reflect a percent (33.33/66.333) since he makes so much more than I do. He wants it to be 50/50.
How does everyone else do it?
We figured out what I could afford to contribute based on my income (I live on a student stipend that's about 1/5 of what FI makes). It's a flat rate month to month. The remainder leaves me some spending money, gas money, and money for my bills. If I have extra (say on a 3-check month), I give him a little more.
I also contribute by buying the groceries.. sometimes we split, often I buy. Once in a while he buys.
We did and do put 50% of our income into a joint account to pay for shared expenses. What that means is whoever makes more pays more, which I do think is fair.
The problem with 50/50 when their is a discrepency in earnings is that the person who makes less would not necessarily be making the same choices if they were to live on their own (or say a roommate where it is 50/50). Cheaper housing, cheaper restaurant.
my FI also makes ALOT more than i do. I make good money but no where near the amount he does. We kind just go with it. We switch off on stuff. when bills come we sit down at our table, bust out our checkbooks and get to it. I mean they have to get paid....and his money is mine and vise versa.
I do think that its is kind of not fair that you only pay 1/3 of the amount that he does. you both live in the house/apartment together and you make good money....maybe he doesnt want all of his money to just go to bills. you guys need to sit down and communicate how you are going to break everything down.
we have seperate bank accounts but we have never split the bills - he would never hold a bill and say your share is 43.9% honey and i never hold tickets for a vacation and say your share is $4K honey. he pays the household stuff & investments, i usually do the groceries/furnishings/vacations etc
He just gives me money and I pay all the bills. We don't split them. I guess you could say his money goes into my "pot".
With my ex husband, certain bills were in my name and certain bills were in his. I paid mine and he paid his. The person making the most money (which changed a few times over 15 years) paid more and/or all of the mortgages which were in both of our names.
We put about 75% of our money into anoint account. We use this account for everything, bills, mortgage, food shopping, dinner out, insurance etc. The rest we have leftover is ours to do what we want with, buy clothes, books, games for him. This works well for us!
My FI and I do not live together and we probably won't until we are married but with things like going out to eat, buying things for the wedding and stuff like thet, we just kind of ....do it. Sometimes he'll pay and sometimes I will. Mostly him though because he makes A LOT more than I do, I'm a student working at a preschool 20 hours a week. But he has said many times before that he would like me to quit my job and focus on school when we get married and he will pay all the bills. We have the outlook that everything that is his, is also mine so money isn't a big deal nor is doing everything 50/50. He isn't the type to say "okay, you get the grocery bill, the water and half the rent and I get the rest."which is very nice IMHO. It puts a lot less stress on me since I only work part time and it makes him happier because I'm not stressing any more than I have to.
He gives me his check and I pay the bills. It shouldn't matter who makes more.
I'm still struggling with this. I make more than DH. Right now all the money goes into one pot and all the expenses come out of it. What it's doing is allowing us to spend way more than we should... which we need to figure out a way to come terms with it.
A friend of mine tried what you described - pay a percentage of what you make, reflective of income - but that would only work if your SO was on board!
FH and I recently joined our finances. Everything goes in to one pot, and all of our bills our paid from that pot. Even debts that I have that aren't his. In the same, its all "ours" anyway, and any money that I put toward my debts still come out of our money, so really, it's all the same.
This is why we have joint accounts, just makes it so much simpler. We have Two Chequing accounts (one for bills, one for spending), and 4 Savings account, all with automatic monthly transfers set up according to our budget, makes everything crystal clear.
FI makes more than I do, but we keep the rent/bills pretty even. We lived together pre-engagement and split everything 50/50 for the rent and bills. However as of late we split rent 50/50, I pay the apartment bills, and he pays insurance on the car and apartment. I think I am paying slightly more on the bills, but he does 90% of the grocery shopping, and sometimes buys gas even though I do 98% of the driving (I have a long commute). So far it has worked for us. We will probably just continue as is once we are married.
Right now I pay all the bills beings I make all the mula (DH is in school). Once we're a two income family again, I'm sure all the money will go into the same account. We'll each get our mad money and the rest will be allocated to whatever savings/investments/bills/etc we have set up.
We share all our finances, so we don't have to deal with this. Before we combined, we would split things according to percentages of our income; he would pay 60-70% of the total bills and I would pay the remainder, since he made way more than I did.
We're not even engaged and we already have a joint account - our money goes into that, bills come out of that. Simple, really.
He pays the mortgage, cable/internet, his phone, his car insurance, and his truck payment.
I pay the electric, water, all groceries and household cleaners/items, my car, my car insurance, and my phone.
We are also responsible for our own credit cards.
We don't have any joint accounts (banking or bills).
We have a joint account and put in x amount each pay period to cover bills and have a little extra each month. The remaining parts of our checks go into our own personal account.
FI and I do not live together so we each pay our separate rents and utilities. His rent is $100 more than mine and his utilities are more so I buy groceries. We each buy our own gas. He usually pays for going out because he earns more. When we are married and sharing the rent/utilities all our money will go into one account that we will use to pay everything. I'm excited because we will have an extra $345/month from my rent to put toward our student loans!
We don't split our bills at all. His money and my money goes into my checking account and we pay the bills with that. Right now I'm unemployed (in college) and only he is making money, so realistically he pays all of the bills, but he tells me it's OUR money and not just his cause he is making the money.
@MrsStrawberry24: How should we split the bills?”
Suze says (on the Suze Orman Show which aired 2007/01/13) this is the most common question she gets from couples. (I’d have thought she’d hear “Should we have separate accounts, or joint?” more, but what do I know.)
For most folks, the default answer to the bill-splitting quandary is 50/50. But Suze suggests that it’s almost never this easy (no kidding!). And that for couples where the two spouses earn significantly different amounts (which would be most couples, probably), splitting the bills 50/50 will almost always lead to resentment and frustration.
Here’s the fictional household setup that Suze presented as an example:
Partner #1 makes $7k/month.
Partner #2 makes $3k/month.
Household expenses total $3k/month.
In the case above, Suze would suggest that the bills be split 70/30, rather than 50/50. This way, each partner/spouse is responsible for an equal percentage of the bills rather than an equal dollar amount. They don’t earn equal dollar amounts, so they shouldn’t pay equal dollar amounts.
After all, paying $1,500 worth of bills (a 50/50 split) drains the $3k earner a lot more, percentage-wise, than it does the $7k earner.
It isn't like he makes
@princesspretti24: I moved into his home, I didn't ask to move in. I would have moved into a place that had free heating. To be honest, I wouldn't have chose this house to live in because it doesn't retain heat and it loses A LOT of heat. WE had a company come in assess how much money we lose and it is a lot. the heating bill is causing the big uproar.
I think I should pay one third of the heating bill. Everything else I don't care if it is 50/50 (cable, phone electric)
He make over 50,000 more than me, plus I have an advance degree which I am paying basck on a teacher's salary. Plus I am paying towards a mortage that is NOT mine therefore, I earn no equity in the house. It is just like renting. he is getting A LOT out of the deal.
Me and my fiance just figured out our "money plan".
We use the Suze Orman way, which I think is what you are kinda wanting. I bet you can find her talking about it online but I will try and give you the main idea.
So you find out what your total monthly expenses are (both of yours). Then find out what your total monthly income is for both of you. Then you find the percentage of how much your total income will go to expenses.
So if you total bills are $2000. And you monthly income is $3500 together...
2000/3500= .57 or 57%
So you each pay 57% of each of your income to pay for the expenses.
If you make 1400 a month, your 57% is $798
He makes the other 2100 a month, his 57% is $1197
That way you both are putting in the same amount of your income to pay for your joint expenses. And you guys get the same amount of your income to do with what ever you want.
By splitting bill 50/50, the amount you each would pay is 1750. So you would have negative 350 every month and he would have an extra 350 to keep.
@aicila: While I was just typing away my reply, you just came in and posted exactly what I was going to say! But you have pretty charts.
So sorry about the repeat!
My FI makes more than double what I do but we split everything 50/50 except for the cable. He wanted extra features, I said I wasn't paying for it so I pay half of the package I wanted, he pays the other half and the overage to get the package he wanted. We pay for our cars/insurance/phones seperately right now, too.
Once we're married we will have joint accounts so it won't matter.
There is no right way to do it, you have to do what's right for you and your SO. If you feel he's treating you unfairly, you have to discuss it with him.
The only bills that FH and I split 50/50 are rent and cell phone. FH pays the cable and electric bill. I pay the car insurance and buy all household items. And trust me it can be alot more epically the groceries.
My SO and I now have joint finances, so we just call all of the money "our" money, but even before we joined our bank accounts, we acted like this. We used his money or my money to pay what needed to be paid. If I had enough in my account, I paid it, if he did, he paid. The other person would then pay for other things (gas, food, nights out, ect.) This may not work for everyone, but it worked for us.
I think that your way of doing it makes more sense to me, but hopefully you guys can work something out.
@jjah89: great mind think a like.
I want the option to be able to save my own money just in case... I know relationships and marriages end everyday and I think I should be able to save the same percentage of my paycheck that he does.
I know he is the guy for me, so I know we can work this out. I just needed to hear from other women how they handled it.
I think its completely fair to split everything 50/50. To me it doesn't matter what you make you are still using, eating, and living the expenses shared and the bills should be reflected the same way. I doubt you are using 30% less heat or electricity for example. If everything is split down the middle then there should be no resentment about who is contributing more. I make more than my FI right now, and pay all the bills out of my account. I give him a summary at the end of each month and he pays me for his half. We have seperate accounts except for a joint credit card for eating out, groceries and some other joint expenses. We don't plan on combining our accounts at anytime soon, and will probably not have any sort of joint finances until we have kids. Both of us are very happy with this arrangement.
Reading the rest of the responses I think I may be somewhat biased since we make similar and I'm not in, nor have I been in a different situation. This may be getting a little off topic, but can I ask what people that put all there money into one pot do about personal splurges? I couildn't imagine having to check in with my FI every time I wanted to buy a new pair of shoes just because they are pretty, or the same with him and video games?
@clairykoo: We just trust each others judgement. Anything under $200.00 doesn't need to be talked about first, anything over that and we discuss it first. My FI and I have a monthly spending budget, when its gone it is gone till next month, some months he spends more then I do and other months I spend more. Any big purchases we save for before buying. Its all fair. Our accounts are set up very strict, all our bill payments auto withdrawl and I have auto transfers set up to move money between accounts every month to meet our budget. The biggest thing is that we always the money by the 1st of the month to cover the whole month:
Chequeing 1 - Spending
Chequeing 2 - Bills/Paychecks
Savings 1 - General
Savings 2 - Big purchases
Savings 3 - Health/Dental
Saving 4 - School
Its crystal clear, easy to follow and we know how much money we have all the time.
Why won't he just pay the mortgage/rent and his car insurance while you pay all the other bills. Keep your car payments separate and groceries should be coming from both accounts. We've been doing this for a couple years now and it's been working fine with zero disagreements.
I pay every "bill" because he isn't working right now. he buys groceries and pays cable. he pays his car and car insurance cause those are connected tohis accounts.
we plan to get 3 checking accounts. one savings.
everything goes into the joint checking account. all bills will be paid from that account. each month $150.00 goes into our personal account. this pays for drinks with friends, clothes, junk etc. it's our "allowance"
whatever is left over at the end of month in joint checking goes to savings ( about $1500-1800 right now). though once he gets a job, for the first 2 years i want to live off my paycheck ( what we do now) and deposit his enitre paycheck in savings. that way we can buy a house asap with a fat downpayment.
to me, it all goes into the same pot, my money his money. same same. he has a crap ton of savings still so he pays for whatever comes up if need be too.
When my FI and I were just bf/gf and NOT living together, everything was 50/50.
When my FI and I were just bf/gf and living together, we split everything 50/50 except I paid for all restaurant outings because I had a job and he was in school.
Now, my FI and I are both in graduate school and recently got engaged (us both being in school started in late September, we got engaged in mid-October), and we combined finances. SO MUCH EASIER! We now just have all of our money go into one pot and we pay everything from that pot.
After we both graduate in 2013, he'll be a doctor and I'll be a teacher. We have had long, extensive conversations about whether he will resent me if he is making like 10 times what I'm making. He said absolutely not, that as long as we're both happy, it doesn't matter who makes more and who makes less. What mine is his and what his is mine. I think this works well for us, but all couples are different!
wait I just read the Orman way. um. hell no. I am a teacher and when FI goes back to work he will be making WAY more $ than me. so he gets to spend more money than me? oh uh uh. no no no. I just broke it down to him and he agrees. his money is just as much my money. So if i make 70K and he make 130K um, he does NOT get to spend that much more money! lol! thats why we both get the same allowance. we both get the same savings. i would never say, I make more money than you so I get to spend more money than you.
DH makes more than twice what I make...so I pay roughly 1/3 (sometimes slightly less) of our combined bills. We also have individual bills that we pay and they do not come out of our joint account
@clairykoo: on personal splurges, we have no cap. we stick to our allowances but if something comes up we support eachother in that. it is rare though and few and far between that it comes up. he just spent 1K on golf clubs. i havn't bought anything over my allowance ever but if I do I know he'd be cool.
I don't think its fair to split everything 50/50 if you make alot less than he does. When my husband and I bought a house together - at the time he was my boyfriend - , I made about double the amount he did. I paid about 65-70% of bills and he paid the rest. It was only fair, otherwise he would have had no spending money in the end of each pay, and I would have tons.
He then got a better paying job and makes the same as I do and so we changed our bills around to split them 50/50. Now that we are married, as of two weeks ago, yay, we just opened a joint bank account and will be taking all of the mutual finances from there and then having our own accounts for spending also.
Good luck with figuring this out!
so intresting to find out about how others handle this!! i've always been curious.
i'm a student w/serious student loans. fi is employed in finance.
fi pays for everything when we're together (inlc. my clothes and the like) unless he forgets his cc or cash. (which is rare). i work in the summer and use that summer job money on various personal items plus occasional purchases for him.
i handle his banking so i pay all his bills and let him know if he's spending too much on something, or going over a budget we roughly worked out for his spending. he does usually try to insist that i transfer some money to myself to make sure i have enough for my own expenses. i do sometimes, but feel kind of weird when i do, esp since he views getting my nails done a necessary expense !! (i hate getting my nails done at a salon, they all feel so dirty! but he loves when my nails are 'done')
he's also always insisted that i call his stuff 'our' stuff. for example, when i referred to his car as his car, he'd be like 'our car'.
@gemenichic:don't you just love that? my Fi is like that too. he isn't working right now but when he was he was so fluid and free with his $.
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