Post # 1
I’d like to know what you all do, because i think i’m drowning here.
I started my new full time job last Monday and am struggling to find a good balance. I work 8-5 every day and don’t usually have time for a break. DH works 10-2:30, then 4:30-10:00 or later. Right now our only time together is Wednesday after I get off work, and Sunday after he only works a half day.
When I come home, I’m exhausted, especially after cleaning up a little and making dinner (I can’t imagine how mothers must feel). It takes a lot out of me to stay up late til midnight to eat and spend time with DH, and then get up early the next morning again. Also, I feel kind of guilty because DH has kind of become my errand runner since I don’t get many breaks from the office.
I’ve started running again to try to get my energy back up, and I work part time on Saturday nights with DH so I can get a little more time with him (plus I’d just be sitting home otherwise so I might as well get paid). We’re supposed to have Sundays off together but his boss is on vacation so that won’t happen til next week.
Post # 3
Currently I am working everyday until 4:15 and then I’m home by 4:45. In about two weeks I wont be working full time, since I am in school and have chosen to spend the next two years focusing on that. DH works for a major delivery company and does not get home until 7:30 or even later. A lot of nights it is later. I usually have to leave around 7:30 at night for the gym, school, or my part time job, so sometimes I dont see him until after 11pm.
We just spend as much time together as we can. I find myself staying up late just to spend a little extra time with him…and then when I get home in the evening I take a quick nap to re-energize. It’s hard, but we do it. We especially love Fridays, because we always stay in and either watch tv or go to bed early…but we always get to catch up then. We have called out and used a sick day together every once in a while just to have a weekday to do nothing and just hang out. Sometimes you need that!
Our current schedule always makes me wonder how people with kids manage to spend time together…and it also makes me see how easy it is to fall out of touch with each other even though you live in the same house! Totally takes a lot of effort on both parts!
Post # 4
It takes time to find a routine. And, legally, you’re supposed to get a break, so you should look into that.
When FI was working seven days a week from 9:00 a.m. – 11:00 p.m. and I working Monday-Thursday from 10:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m. and some Thursdays 11:30 a.m. – 4:00 p.m., some Saturdays either 5:30 p.m. – 11:00 p.m. or 11:30 a.m. – 11:00 p.m. and Sundays 11:30 a.m. – 4:00 p.m., it was crazy. But, our jobs are erratic and our hours always change depending upon the month. Right now, that schedule I mentioned is over (well, mine is still going until the end of July, but FI is down to two days a week right now from 11:00 a.m. – 8:00 p.m.).
During that time, we stayed up an hour after whoever got home the latest and caught up on our day together. This was going on for three months, so it was rough. Then again, I do hate how our schedules always change and we can’t find that routine.
Hang in there. And remember, it’s not worth working those hours if you’re miserable when you’re off or if you’re not with those you love. Maybe you’ll need to reevaluate in the future.
Post # 5
@BetterSherm: I can take an hour break every day but I don’t usually take it out of office since I’m new and have a ton of things to learn. Usually my breaks consist of me putting down my work sheets, and picking up a sandwich while I study the company products.On a couple of slower days I visited DH at his job but he’s busy over there so he really only has time to say “hi” and “bye” and then during his break my boss usually assigns me a brand new project.
It’s not the job itself that’s getting in my way, I think it’s mostly that I have a brand new job and his boss is out so we can’t really coordinate our schedules well yet.
I’m hoping in a couple of weeks things will settle into a better routine.
Post # 6
@harleyq: If I can mention another thing regarding a break, I know several people who take their lunch while still working (as it seems you’re doing) but leave the workday early. So, if they’re lunch break is 30 minutes, instead of leaving at the normal end time of 5:00 p.m., they leave at 4:30 p.m. Just something to think about. You’re still not legally supposed to work through your lunch time unless the time is compensated another time during the workday. I may be harping on the wrong thing, but I’ve been illeagally not given breaks and it can cause problems later. A small break can make all the different.
Post # 7
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
When my FI was working at a country club and working late I worked 8am-5pm but he wouldn’t get home most nights until 11pm or later. I started taking naps in the evening when I got home from work; partly to pass the time until he got home from work and partly so I would be able to stay up later and spend time with him without being wrecked at work the next day.
Post # 8
I’ve found that planning helps a lot too. I plan our meals ahead of time and spend a several hours on Sunday preparing parts of the meals (cook once eat twice rule) so that food doesn’t take a lot of time during the week.
Our days are long but we make sure to eat dinnertogether or at least sit while the other eats if it’s different times. I leave the house at615 and get home at 630 if I hit the gym. DH leaves at 530 and gets home about 6.
Eventually you find what works for you. And some weeks or months are harder than others just because of schedule changes, moods, travel etc.
Post # 9
@ThreeMeers: I might start doing that. I abandoned pre-planning my meals before because I only worked part time and went to school. I found that when I had a lot of time, I didn’t want the meals I planned for myself so everything just went bad or sat for a long time.
Now it’ll be nicer to not have to plan and shop for a new meal every single day.
Post # 10
I work 8 until whenever I’m done..usually that’s 5. Today it was 5:30…last Monday it was 8pm. I work between 50 and 60 hours a week and don’t get to take a lunch either. I work in finance. I get up at 5am to go to the gym first too..so I know how you feel about being tired.