- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
I started by saving pictures on my computer and sending him links to things I liked. That's a little lower-pressure than looking in person. Then, we got my great-grandmother's stone, went to look at settings together, and voila! I found the perfect thing.
I always think that it doesn't hurt to actually go into jewelry stores and try on some rings (as long as both you and your bf are comfortable with it!). Many times, rings look much different on your finger than they do in a display case or in a picture. Maybe together you will find the perfect ring, or maybe your bf will know exactly what looks great on you, and go on his own from there to surprise you with a ring.
TheIdealDay_LogoForKnotAd.jpg (6.5 KB, 12 downloads) 2 years old 
I second Emilie. My finger is freakishly skinny at 4 1/4 so it was a good thing that we tried rings on at jewelry stores because a lot of things didn't look good on my hand. We would go into Costco and try on the rings there (different cuts, bands, gemstones), just to see what it would look like. You should do it to!
I finally just got up the courage, after we'd talked about it (engagement, marriage) enough, to ask to go look at rings. He asked what I wanted to do one Saturday, and I said 'look at rings?', so we did. Then we went a few more places, looked at some online, etc.
I'm glad we did because the one I picked was not only much different than what he'd pictured me liking, but it was even a bit different than I'd expected. (I never even considered a marquise ring, which is exactly what I chose.)
It can still be romantic too - my bf is going to give me the ring when he feels the time is right - I won't know exactly when. (So, it's not like we just went down to the store and completely unromantically wrote a check and suddenly, bam, we're engaged! :D )
You guys were all so much subtle about it. I went on bluenile.com found out everything I wanted....went to a jewlery store...made sure it was what I wanted...wrote all down gave it to him and quizzed him every once in a while on it :o) Please don't think I'm a whackjob...I dont' wear jewelery and I didnt' want to have to wear a ring I didnt' like....
He did better than I asked for! FYI--really look into buying the ring on bluenile it is a ridiculously awesome website and they are so reasonably priced.
We got my ring appraised for insurance and it was worth over $3000 more than he paid.
I spent a lot of time looking online to figure out what I liked and didn't like. From there, I shared that with him and we went to a few different jewelers. The one thing I found is that it's totally different in person than it is online. It's hard to really judge the size and the look of the rings until you see them up close. In the end, I found a pretty unique style that I loved, and a local jeweler will be able to order it from one of their suppliers for us. It's actually going to be a significant savings too, which is sweet.
I would say, just be honest about what you like. As my bf put it, "You're going to wear this every day. I really don't want to screw it up." If you're nice about your requests, I'm sure he'll appreciate the help. 
We did a ton of research online first. We understood the 4Cs and then we branched out into color. We learned everything we could about colored stones, and then we went into jewelers and started looking. It really helped to be knowledgable, have a budget, and know what styles, shapes, colors and metals we were interested in before we got there. I felt we got a better deal than we otherwise could have by being informed consumers. I actually picked out a major flaw in one stone that a jeweler did not disclose to me. They were very much on their toes with us after that, and found us the perfect yellow diamond.
We did the same thing for his engagement ring (boy bling), but we only sized his finger at the jewelers and then we ordered the ring online.
I remember telling my boyfriend at one point that I would love to go ring 'browsing' with him, but not ring 'shopping.' That way I could find out my ring size, and see what looked good on my thin finger, but ultimately be surprised by what he chose. Before browsing, I also showed him pictures of rings online. (It was actually really interesting to see what styles he was not a fan of!)
I also made sure I had well-informed friends, so in case my boyfriend had questions, my friends would have the answers! I like to think I'm well-prepared 
I've been having the same conversations with my boyfriend lately. A couple of weeks ago I emailed him a variety of rings I liked, my ring size, and where in town they sold those particular rings. It might sound a little crazy, but lets get going here! I figure if you're talking about it, it's ok to put it all out there.
@gemini606 - that's what we TRIED to do too, but we found that i had some pretty specific tastes and I ended up just deciding on one all together
1541wb.jpg (66.8 KB, 50 downloads) 2 years old
@marquisemiss - Haha, as it turns out it's fairly clear what I like too. But at least this way, I can remain blisfully ignorant of the price for a while. :)
Ahhh I'm so nervous about looking at rings! I really want HIM to pick it out...it would mean so much more to me that way, but at the same time...I'm going to have to wear it EVERYDAY! I'm just afraid that if we go "browsing" I'll end up falling for one!
I actually looked on Amazon.com at all the different styles since I had no idea ahead of time what I wanted. My boyfriend asked me what kind of ring I'd like and I finally picked out a style that I liked the best and printed out a picture of it. It was very helpful and informative to check out their engagement ring section. He ended up going to a family member who is a jeweler (and asked alot of questions about diamonds) and got a fabulous ring and surprised me with it. :)
My guy thinks he's been really stealth about things. So, so cute about it!
A few months back, he once took off my right hand ring and exclaimed "wow you have such tiny fingers! what size are you? A five or six? seven?" And of course I told him my exact size. 
Later on, (few weeks) he took off same ring again and stuck it on his pinky. This time he said "Wow. Look how little this is on my pinky. It only goes down to about there." 
He honestly thought I had no idea what was going on.
At the beginning of december, we were at dinner and he actually discussed it with me. He asked which solitaires I preferred. Did I want a round, a princess or an oval? I said round. He asked what kind of band around it? I said a plain platinum band with two solitaires on each side of the solitaire and told him to check out Tiffany's site and Cartier for reference! He has a good friend who is a jeweler and that's who he has gotten it from. But I sent him to those sites to get a good idea of what I want.
He has done all the shopping.
And I love it!
My next question is this: How to you discuss things you like without blatantly asking, "How much can you spend?" I don't want to ever sound like this: "I like this and this and this and this. Can you afford it?"
Or, do you actually discuss pricing parameters?
This is all so exciting but it makes me nervous! :o)
I had no idea how much it would cost until we actually looked. And then, I felt bad and was in fact choosing the less expensive styles. But he caught on to me and said I should choose what I WANTED - that I'm worth it (awww!). So we talked about how important it is in the long run, and how much we're willing to spend for it. For example:
- if staying out of debt is important, how much are you able to spend without taking a loan? No one wants to enter a marriage saddled with debt.
- or for another type of budgeting: what's more important to you, a $3000 wedding dress, or putting an extra $2000 toward the ring and sticking to a $1000 dress? I'd say the ring - you won't get as much wear out of the dress!
You might think of it this way too, if you find yourself feeling guilty about price, or feeling like it's just too much to spend on such a tiny item...
- you'll wear this your whole life, whereas other similarly priced expenses (a new living room set, an entertainment center, a car, etc) probably only last a decade or so and aren't as meaningful.
- you might like to pass it as an heirloom to a granddaughter
These are things to consider when talking price.The bottom line is that you should be able to talk about finances with your beloved. My man and I know how much each other make, we share bills and have a budget we follow together. So, we have a pretty comfortable idea of the affordability of big purchases. That doesn't mean I know exactly how much his gifts to me cost or anything like that. But I do know, for example, that I would be out of line to pick out a $500,000 ring, but can certainly suggest something that's more than $500.
Keep in mind too that if you work with a jeweler, you'll be looking at two prices: stone and setting. Three prices if your e-ring has a matching wedding band. You may want to choose a setting you like, then let him determine the 4C's based on his budget.
i just went ring shopping with my bf over christmas. i actually just asked him, earlier last year, that whenever we got to the point where he'd begin looking at rings, if i could tag along. my reasons were so i could get properly sized and so we could see what styles i liked and what would look good on my hand. good thing i asked because i ended up completely changing my mind in what i wanted! i originally told him i wanted a 3-stone ring only to try a few on and be completely underwhelmed. so we were able to zero in on a style we both like and see what carat looked good on me.
we just looked at ring styles, i didn't pick anything out. i'm leaving the final decision up to him since he's treading on the traditional side [of the guy doing the ring shopping on his own]. he knows what looks good on me and what i like so i completely trust that he'll find something we'll both love!
As far as budget goes - we talked about some general styles I like (no yellow gold, maybe some small sidestones but probably a solitare, etc), I asked him straight up how much he thought a ring might cost and what his budget would be. Because while I want something nice, I know I can adjust the size/quality of the diamond to fit within his parameters. He didn't realize how much a ring could cost, and I wasn't sure how much he could save from each paycheck, so we worked on a budget together.
2010-02-26_200434.jpg (158.6 KB, 14 downloads) 2 years old
I started going to every jewelry store in a 100 mile radius and trying on rings a year and a half before we actually got engaged (secretly of course)! I left my information, name and preferences with the clerk. Later I "accidentally" mentionedto my then boyfriend that my girlfriend Sheila and I had stopped at some shops and pretended we were going to be engaged to our boyfriends soon. So if he ever needed info, all he'd after to do is call Sheila (take the hint, take the hint, take the hint). Eventually when the time was right, that's exactly what he did. The proposal was a surprise, but I got exactly the ring I wanted! Now our wedding will be next October!
I think it's really important to be honest with each other, both about your ring preferences AND your finances. Even if you feel uncomfortable talking with your boyfriend/fiance upfront about these issues, they're really important foundations to lay down to begin your commitment to each other. And, find a level at which you're comfortable discussing these issues - you don't necessarily have to tell your fiance that you want this exact setting, but you might feel more comfortable guiding him to more general styles (e.g. solitaire, yellow gold, etc.). Along the same lines, you shouldn't have to share exactly how much you each spend per month on clothes or going out with friends. But you should be able to agree on a reasonable amount to spend for the ring and for the wedding. The earlier you can start an honest conversation with your fiance about these issues, the more prepared you'll both be in the long run to always talk openly with each other.
I wholeheartedly recommend going with your fiance to browse at rings as well. Be prepared to to a few stores, ask to try on a few things, and feel free to immediately say "thank you" and leave if the salesperson is making you feel uncomfortable or pressured. Although it might take a few tries, you should be able to find somebody who is content to let you try on as many styles as you please. You might also find that your fiance has preferences too - I was surprised to see how interested my boyfriend was when we went to look at rings, and in the end, we ended up choosing one that reflected both of our preferences. Good luck!
IMG_0026.JPG (2310.3 KB, 22 downloads) 2 years old 
We went shopping right around our six month anniversary. I found my ring at the second shop. I knew that saving pictures wouldn't work for me. I have wee hands, FI calls them "princess hands", so a lot of styles would overwhelm them. As soon as I put it on, I knew, and we didn't look anywhere else. I've been engaged over four months and I still look at it sparkle several times a day!
I did the same thing as gemini606. A ton of my friends had gotten engaged/married before we went to look, so I already had ideas of what I preferred. Sometimes I saw rings online that caught my eye, but I am the type that has to see and touch to really know. There's a Ritani ring with a skinny band that I fell in love with online, and I wanted to know if it would feel comfortable on being that it was so skinny.
So one day, I asked him if we could go to a store so that I try it, and he agreed. It turned out that the sales associate at Robbins Brothers guided us through the store and actually tried to help my boyfriend by observing and noting my preferences. I never wanted to pick out my actual ring, though. So I refused to talk about price, diamond size...etc. I simply looked at everything and the two of them noted the ones that I kept going back to. My boyfriend already knew that I love the cushion cut, so we told that to the jewler. After I was finished browsing, the associate took my boyfriend aside, and they talked privately for a while. So now I'm waiting to see what he ended up choosing. :)
Go have fun in the store, and don't ask anything that feels strange to you. Just try on everything and be honest about how it feels to wear. I bet your boyfriend will be relieved to have help picking out the ring!
When we decided to marry, I waited a few days before bringing anything up. But eventually I said, "Have you thought about rings or anything?" And he said, "I have already picked out some things on my computer! Do you want to look?" He was more excited than I was!
So we looked at pictures, and then I asked him his budget--I have a very specific "dream ring" in mind and I didn't want to show him and then make him feel bad!
Once I knew his budget, I showed him a picture of the setting I like. We went to the store to see it in person and I let him know where he can find it online for less and the type of stone I want, etc.
I initially had that hesitation about, "Should I say anything?" But I got over that pretty quickly; I tend to ask a lot of questions and be communicative. It feels awkward at first, but it's always worth it in the end. Just ask him!
FutureMrsR: Thank you for the advice, I am beginning to feel excited rather than anxious :o)
Mitla: Thank you! I feel as though you were in my position...It really helps to know that!
Luckily for me, someone close to us works at a jewelry store. Absolutely no pressure, so we really took our time. I actually broke out the giant book of rings that could be ordered from different designers. Instead of being overwhelmed with sales people who are on commission, we were relaxed and there was no pressure.
veil2.jpg (26 KB, 67 downloads) 2 years old mathia.jpg (295.9 KB, 73 downloads) 2 years old dress3.JPG (12.8 KB, 75 downloads) 2 years old 
I would suggest looking at the website pricescrope.com. They have a lot of information about diamonds that could really be helpful in the ring purchasing process. There are forums on the site where you can get advice from real people and see what they went through to find the perfect diamond. My fiance spent so much time on the site before and after going to the jewelers. He was well informed and did his research, and that helps so much when finding the perfect ring.
I personally took the approach of wanting him to pick out the ring for me. I briefly gave him hints in our relationship of the shape I wanted and that I didn't want it to look like any of my sister's. He found the right setting that fit my personality, and he proposed when he felt ready.
Christian_Louboutin032_1.jpg (29.7 KB, 9 downloads) 2 years old blue_bow.jpg (30.3 KB, 9 downloads) 2 years old Christian_Louboutin471.jpg (63.9 KB, 12 downloads) 2 years old You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Lyndzo | 46 |
| AshleyR83 | 24 |
| mypinkshoes | 23 |
| Ms. Salamander | 23 |
| beargoose | 22 |
| rebwana | 21 |
| Jenlon | 20 |
| his chippymunk | 20 |
| kat2014 | 19 |
| fishbone | 18 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Scottish_lassie | 4 |
| Lyndzo | 4 |
| pharlap | 4 |
| kat2014 | 3 |
| HeyKaraoke | 3 |
| ColoradoGirl | 3 |
| Regina Phalange | 2 |
| Loribeth | 2 |
| shirasagi | 2 |
| mrspinnyc | 2 |
My boyfriend and I have known for many months that we will ultimately be married. It was just a matter of time. Lately, the topic has become more real to us and I sense we will be engaged sometime this year...Which is good! However, he knows what kind of ring I DON'T like but doesn't really know what I DO like and I feel uncomfortable giving him pictures of rings. When we pass by jewellery stores, he sort of glances at what I'm drooling over but doesn't ask questions. A while back we agreed that he would like me to be a part of the ring-picking festivities.
So my question is this: For those of you who helped to pick your e-ring, how did you start?