- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
Couple of friends call them mom and dad, but that'd be too weird for me. I have been going by Mr. Lastname and Mrs. Lastname, but feels too formal. My biggest issue is with the MIL cause they're divorced buy she kept the last name, is is ok to call her Mrs. Lastname in that situation?
I've been married for over five years, and I've completely avoided calling my in laws anything at all. :-)
I just call them by their first names. Of course I know them quite well and with so many people all with the same last name, it would be really hard at family gatherings.
They aren't my in-laws, but it took me 6 years of dating and a couple glasses of wine at Christmas to switch from calling my SO's parents "mr and mrs" to first names. If/when we do get married, I don't foresee switching again- it was too hard the first time. I think I'll do like Mr. Bee and just avoid at all costs.
I call my future in-laws mom and dad. After close to 10 years of dating, it was a difficult transition, but in our culture, after you are engaged, you call them mom and dad. At first, it was really awkward and now its normal. (It took me sometime to get over the idea of having to call someone else mom and dad. So I just decided that no matter what I called my future in-laws, nothing will replace my parents - my mom and dad. ;) )
Only when it's absolutely necessary to address them directly, I call them by their first names. But, like Mr. Bee, I tend to avoid doing so at all costs...& I've been doing that for nearly 12 years of dating!
Eesh, now I feel a little guilty that I never called his parents "Mr__" and "Mrs. __" !! Was that bad etiquette to call them by their first names from the get-go? I'm sure that's how they introduced themselves, although I don't recall that exact moment... :-/
FI and I have both avoided calling each other's parents anything at all in 6 years of dating. LOL
I call them Mr. and Mrs. I can't imagine calling them Mom or Dad because they are not my parents. Plus, I am afraid that my parents may feel like they are being replaced. Maybe when I have kids I will call them whatever my kids call them.
After 28 years of marriage, my Mama has managed not to call my grandparents anything. lol But my Daddy calls my grandparents (mom's parents) Mr. and Mrs.
We've been together for 7 years and married for 1.5 and I've avoided calling them anything this whole time! LOL I have no clue what to call them and even less of a clue for how to ask them.
We don't see FIL much so I've never had to call him anything. I call my MIL by her first name, I'm sure that's how she introduced herself although it's taken a good 7 years and several bonding moments (like going to a Turkish bath together) to feel really comfortable with it! He calls my parents by their first names too. They aren't very formal people. I introduced DH to my grandparents as Mr and Mrs, and left it up to them if they wanted him to call them by their first names.
I don't call him anything at all if i could help it. in my mind i have quite a few names for him, but the few times i do have to i call him by his first name.
When I first met my future-in-laws, I planned on calling them Mr. and Mrs. Lastname. Thank goodness I ran it by my Fi beforehand cause no one ever calls anyone Mr. and Mrs. here - it's way too formal. They even refer to their prime minister with his first name, it's just how it is here! When it is a bit formal, the woman's first name is always included, never shrouded into her husband's name (which I love).
I try to avoid directly addressing them, but on the rare moments when I do, I use their first names. I'm getting used to it now, but it's still a little weird to me.
My Mom, on the other hand, wants my Fi to call her Mom, although she hasn't told him yet (but plans to). When they first met, my Fi also asked what he should call my Mom and I told him to call her "Auntie". It's a cultural thing for respect (you call anyone older aunt or uncle).
When I have to use a name, I will use first names - however it took 4 years of dating and 1/2 of an engagement to get there.
I couldn't imagine calling them Mr. and Mrs., but I was 28 when I met them and had not called someone Mr. or Mrs. in about 10 years! I just call them by their first names, which works out fine. When my FI (boyfriend at the time) and I were on our way for me to meet them for the first time, I just asked him what I should call them. Problem solved.
When we were dating, I always called his parents by their first names. I have never called any of my partner's parents "Mr. or Mrs. Lastname", and none of my partners have done the same with my parents. With less than a month left until the wedding I've been calling my FMIL and FFIL 'Mum and Dad' more often, because my parents always called their in-laws 'Mum and Dad', so it just makes sense to me. We're a family now, and to me one of the best ways to show that I am part of their family is to call them 'Mum and Dad'. It's not always easy, but I like it.
The first time I met them, they insisted that I call them by their first names, thank GOD. Like JMC, I was in my late 20's when I met them, and hadn't called anyone Mr. or Mrs. in forever.
I use First names... if necessary to use anything. I tried Mr. and Mrs. because to me, as "parents" that's the way I was raised.... but they shot that down :-)
Like Mr. Bee, I pretty much just avoid "names" when possible around them. I'll use their names when talking with my own parents so they know who I am talking about.
When we get married, it will be an adjustment, but I plan on just using "mom and dad" and gosh, I can't wait! It's like a mini internal debate and panic.... *MARK* that just gets blurted because I get so nervous using their first names, lol.
I personally don't feel like I will offend my own parents (they both called each others parents mom and dad), it's more proper etiquette, and while not by birth, they will be my parents.
I call them by their first names. Mr. and Mrs. is waaay too formal for most aussies. After we are married I might call them Mum and Dad, we'll see. Mr. Roux calls my parents and step parents by their first names, and probably always will. Seeing I have one dad one mum and 2 step mums that would be way too confusing.
I use their first names and so does FI so it was never really a question. I have no idea why but he and his sister refer to their parents by their first names so that is how they were intorduced to me. It feels a bit awkard sometimes so I tend not to call them by their names to their face if I can avoid it.
I call his mom Auntie.
His dad I try to avoid calling anything; in the rare time that I've had to call him anything I just say Mr.>>>>
I am on a first name basis with mine, but why don't you just ask them what they'd like to be called? When I introduce mine I do so by first and last name, so "Jane, this is my mother-in-law Sally Smith. Sally (or whatever she tells you she wishes to be called) this is my friend Jane Doe."
I use the Korean words for 'mother' and 'father.' I would really really prefer not to, but it would be rude to call them anything else.
I call FMIL "mom" but FFIL by his first name. When speaking about him I usually say dad but for some reason it just seems less awkward to address him by his name. FH calls my parents by their first names as well
after we got engaged, we had a little discussion like-
them: "do u feel comfortable calling us mom and dad?" me: "no" them: "ok, call us by our names".
i call them by their first names. i could never call them "mom and dad" .. i have my own!
ha..its still weird calling them by their first names though.. i try to avoid it. FI refuses to call my parents mom and dad OR by their first names. he calls them Mr. and Mrs._______ still.
:)
I call them by their first names. Prior to being engaged, I would call them Mr. or Mrs ___________. Once engaged, I just took the liberty one day to call my FMIL by her first name, Kathleen. And I think I quickly followed up with, "is it okay if I call you that?" and she replied, "of course, that's fine!" So I was able to move quickly through that awkward phase. :)
Even my fiance calls them by their first name, so I do the same.
First names all the way! I've never called them Mr. and Mrs. so and so, and can't imagine doing so. But I would NEVER call them mom or dad either, even though they do feel like, and are, family.
My FI and I were friends for years before we started dating, and his mom and I were friends too. I used to go over and make crafts with her all of the time before we were dating. I was introduced to her by her first name, as well as her husband, so I've always called them by their first names. My FI calls my parents by their first names too.
EDIT: Also, my FI and I were just talking the other day about calling eachothers parents "mom" and "dad" and I flat out refused. He can call my parents anything he wants (um...within reason of course), but "mom" and "dad" are reserved for me to call my own parents.
This is so funny, we were just discussing this at work a few days ago.
My FI avoids calling my parents anything, too! haha. He feels weird calling them by their first names, and the Mr./Mrs. last name is too formal.
I call his parents by their first names. That's how I was introduced. :)
Mom and Pop. We have dated since we were both teenagers - and they have been like parents to me ever since - so I have no trouble calling them such. I love my in laws and would adopt them with or without my husband :-).
@mr.bee LOL, me too! well not the five years married part, but we've been together since 2006 and i don't call them anything! ... LOL.
i'm trying to ease into calling them mom and dad... as Fi calls my parents appa/umma... "mom and dad in korean" ;P
I have a (future) stepmom-in-law and mother-in-law. The stepmom is easy because FI calls her by her first name, so I do too. His mom I don't talk to as much, but I suppose I'll call her by her first name too, although that'll feel a little awkward.
FI's brother's wife calls them "Mom V****" and "Mom T****" (their first names.)
My FMIL has said I can call her anything I want. But, now I feel a little weird. My FI calls my mom "Mom." Which, is kind of normal, because everyone calls her Mom, like friends of mine and friends of my siblings. But, I feel bad if I call my FMIL by her first name, but I'm just not comfortable calling her mom. Don't get me wrong, I love her. I think she is absolutely wonderful, but I love my mom so much, that I just can't image calling someone else that. But, I also don't want to just call her by her first name because that feels so informal. I'm having a hard time of this too and avoid calling her anything.
The entire time we were dating, I called my husband's parents Mr. and Mrs. ___. My husband used to say that they didn't mind if I called them by their first name, but I told him that until I was asked to do so, I couldn't. Right after we got engaged his dad told me that I ought to just call them J__ and S____. It was an odd transition, but a few weeks later I went down to where Husband's grandmothers, aunts, uncles, etc all live and after a weekend with the whole family it became a lot easier.
One thing I'm surprised people haven't said is that when they have children they reference their in-laws as grandma or grandpa or some version (obviously not all the time, but when kids are around). We aren't planning kids for quite a while, but I think that'll be an easy transition once the time comes.
Like many others, I try to avoid calling them anything at all costs lol. If I have to though, I call them by their first names, but always feel awkward!
I'm like Mr. Bee and try to avoid addressing them at all, haha. But when I have to, I call them by their first names. But they're really friendly people so I think they'd be wierded out if I tried the Mr. Lastname or Mrs. Lastname, lol. They'd be like "WTF, call me Firstname!"
first names for sure! the only bump i'm running into is when I write cards from both of us - it's weird to write to "Dear FMIL First Name and FFIL First Name, love Me First Name and Fiance First Name", so we're figuring that out now (he'll just write the cards and sign our names, probably ;) )
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Lyndzo | 46 |
| AshleyR83 | 24 |
| mypinkshoes | 23 |
| Ms. Salamander | 23 |
| beargoose | 22 |
| rebwana | 21 |
| Jenlon | 20 |
| his chippymunk | 20 |
| kat2014 | 19 |
| fishbone | 18 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| LammChop | 3 |
| rebwana | 3 |
| MidnightSun | 1 |
| mightywombat | 1 |
| sara_tiara | 1 |
| vlbee | 1 |
| Ellegee | 1 |
| zomgwut | 1 |
| messymonkey | 1 |
| raspberry bride | 1 |
