(Closed) How do you deal with creepy people?

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
2084 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@AB Bride:  I don’t make much eye contact with people in general because I’m a bit quiet and “socially awkward” at times. I do get vibes off people though. One day at the gym a man kept following me around and staring at me, not looking, but gawking. I said to him out loud in front of everyone, “Would you please stop staring at me!” I think I embarassed him but I just wanted him to leave me alone. I’ve encountered all types of people in my life but I usually don’t feel like they’re “creepy” unless they follow me around or give me some unwanted attention. I’m a polite, kind person like you but I have become more protective of my space over the years.

Post # 5
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You’re not obligated to be nice to anyone.  I’m assuming you’re female and were raised as such, so you probably got those insidious messages that you have to be “nice” for people to like you.

Just ignore the creepers.  This is especially easy when they’re not physically near you.  Block texts, IMs, and phone calls.  Don’t bother being “nice.”  Why do you feel these people need a positive opinion of you, anyway?

Oh, and a PSA that not all people who are socially awkward/developmentally delayed are creepers.  I’m cripplingly socially awkward, and it’s mostly due to Asperger’s.  I’m so terrified of doing something WRONG that I usually dwell on some of the more memeorable WRONG moments and don’t do anything at all.  I haven’t spoken to friends for months or years because of this.  This isn’t to say that there aren’t people who will claim Asperger’s (or similar) to get away with being creepers, but…usually people who are legit are going to hide in a corner after something happens.

Post # 6
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I try not to be outright rude, but not friendly either, because it seems people like that interpret normal friendliness as attraction and turn up the creepiness even more. So I try to be polite but uninterested, give one word answers, and just cut off conversation as soon as possible.

Post # 8
Member
7885 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@AB Bride:  Interesting and difficult question.

To strangers in the street, and I cold shoulder them if they’re men. I’ll talk to the creepy woman, but sorry guys you need to find a guy to talk to.

In social situations I am polite but stop anything inappropriate. I’m especially thinking of church here: there are a couple of men there with mental issues. They can be over-friendly to the point of being creepy. But I feel like it’s a safe environment with lots of people around and I try to be polite and friendly. If any of them crossed the line (and none have yet, at least not with me) I’m sure I could turn away and shut it down.

Post # 9
Member
1692 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

WHen people are creepy I pretend not to notice. DH is always like OMG we just walked through Walmart and 10 guys were grossly checking you out.  I know, but I don’t notice, if that makes sense.  I just pretend I don’t see and I continue on my way.

When someone is being more intimately creepy I just try to be as polite as I can while being as obvious as I can that it’s not cool, and I”m not interested.

However one time at a hockey game in the crowd of people at intermission, some creep walked up to me and totally cupped my crotch.  EFFING GROSS.  The shitty thing is that while DH is a big dude with plenty of martial arts experience, he was 20 feet ahead of me.  I was SO creeped out.

 

Post # 10
Member
2084 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@AB Bride:  Whether someone is a “geek”, “socially awkward”, or “popular”, they have no right to put their hands on you against your will. I tend to get along well with “geeks” and “socially awkward” people because I can understand where they are coming from and they are more intellectually stimulating to me. I’ve found that the so-called “popular” people think they can get away with anything because they have a lot of friends and they’re overly confident.

Post # 11
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@AB Bride:  You…might want to check that.  If he’s legitimantely developmentally delayed, he might not (probably doesn’t) realize he’s broadcasting creepy vibes; yes, sometimes boundaries do get crossed and the individual crossing them doesn’t realize.  Alternatively, the way you worded that sounds like you’re weirded out by the mere fact that this individual is developmentally delayed, as you said that if a neurotypical person treated you in a similar manner, you wouldn’t feel weirded out.

Just treat it like any other employee/customer relationship.

Post # 12
Member
7279 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@AB Bride:  I have no good advice. My best friend says I’m a “magnet for crazy & creepy”. It makes for funny stories though!

Post # 13
Member
7736 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I think it’s always important to trust your instincts and take whatever action you must to keep safe!  You have those instincts for a good reason!

Post # 16
Member
1146 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@AB Bride:  I went to school with a girl who was very socially awkward/had some developmental/emotional delayments. I was polite and would talk to her, but after attending her birthday party one year, I tried to avoid her as much as I could (no joke, she chased my friend around while this girl was half naked so she could sit on my friend’s lap.)

Working in customer service, I have seen a lot of strange people. I try to keep it professional, and if I feel weirded out, I try to keep the interation as short as possible. Sometimes people are being friendly but come off creepy, while othertimes they are just plain creepy! If I get to feeling really uncomfortable, I get a manager or security to deal with it.

I have also found that some people are “socially awkward” until I get to know them, and find out that they are just shy to where they may say or do things that come off as creepy.

The topic ‘How do you deal with creepy people?’ is closed to new replies.

Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors