Post # 1
I’ve been hating my job for a really long time but recently it’s affecting me to the point where I’m just so anxious and stressed and miserable all the time that it’s affecting my relationship. Since I have to hold in all my hatred at work, I end up taking it out on other people like my FI. He knows it’s just that I hate my job (and our apartment – but that’s a whole different story) and I’m not where I want to be right now overall, but I still don’t want to act like that towards him because he only wants to help me and make me feel better. When I get all worked up, though, it’s like impossible for anyone to make me feel better.
What are some healthy ways you guys deal with work-related stress so that you aren’t a total nutjob like I’m turning into?
Post # 3
Do you think that trying yoga or working out would help you to be less stressed out? If it is getting really bad, you might want to consider going to a therapist to deal with those emotions so you don’t take them out on your friends and family.
Post # 4
I am so with you on this. I hate myself for snapping at FI, friends, and family because of work related stress. Sometimes it helps to just be by myself when I feel like this, so I physically can’t take it out on anyone. Or I channel my frustration into planning for the future.
Post # 5
If I get really stressed at work, I go for a run or run on the treadmill when I get home. Pounding on the pavement while I imagine telling people off helps some, plus there’s the added benefit of the exercise. When I REALLY get down tho, I remind myself that as much as I might not like my job at the moment, I’m lucky to at least have one and that I can’t afford not to with the wedding coming up. That’s helped to put things in perspective for me.
At my last job tho…when it was nice out, I’d tell FI (or BF at the time) that I wanted to go to a driving range to hit around some balls. It’s quite therapeutic taking a whack at those things imagining they are someone’s head lol
Post # 6
Yoga, absolutely. I need to start again, because I am the EXACT same position as you are.
I have 6 more months to go though, before I am free.
Post # 7
yoga helps me and so does “job hunting” I tend to find a ton of great jobs and apply or if there aren’t any, then I appreciate my job/salary that much more! Is there a reason you can’t leave?
Post # 8
Ahh, yes. FI and I both went through this as well recently. We live in NYC too and have stressful jobs in the insurance industry. On top of that, the companies we worked for were the 2 worst in our industry according to almost everyone.
He was always upset and took it out not on me, but it would prevent us from having fun at times. He was too consumed with how stressed at work he was. I put my foot down and made him apply to another company that I knew was good to work for as I’m in marketing and know all. They loved him and hired him instantly, he’s happy as a clam now wearing sweaters instead of suits, getting in after nine instead of before 8 and leaving right at 5 instead of staying to 7 or 8. And his coworkers speak to him! And laugh!
Shortly after, I did the same thing. I was so fed up with my company and all the pressure on me to perform beyond what was even possible that I just shot my resume around. Turns out, one old colleague is the head of the department of the company I now work for and hired me in an instant, gave me a 20% bump and instant quality of life improvement! We are both so much happier.
I don’t know if it’s that easy for you, but you might want to try looking around or a career change. Money only goes so far – you have to be happy or at least tolerant of your job. PM me if you have any questions about insurance!
Post # 9
I am right there with you, Kittyachi. I snapped BIG time this weekend b/c I was so stressed about having to come back to work without any more short weeks or holidays to get me through it… and I just lost it. I honestly don’t know the answer for this, I’m seeking it as well. I asked my boss today for a change of hours (7-4 ilo 8-5) so at least I can miss traffic and remove that stress (I live the furthest away and Atlanta traffic is a nightmare!). She actually said yes which is awesome, but I know it will cause the tension between me and my high strung, jealous out of her gourd coworker to worsen.
I’m definitely looking for another job, but there’s nothing out there. I’m going to play trivia with friends tonight, I play video games when I get home, watch TV, exercise, whatever. Nothing really seems to help, because even if I finally relax at home, by the time i get to work the next day, I’m tense and by the time my evil cohorts pull a few moves, I’m in tears or ticked the hell off.
Sigh. I don’t know what we do.
Post # 10
I wish I could do yoga or exercise to relax…it used to help me a lot in college when I was stressed. That and cooking 🙂
Now I get home so freaking late every day that I have absolutely no time and energy for anything. Sigh…
Post # 11
YES! Getting home late is a huge part of the problem. I think I’d be able to deal better if I didn’t commute 1+ hr each way. Even though I technically do a “reverse commute” out of Manhattan, the traffic around NYC still sucks. Couple NYC traffic day in and day out with a job you hate and getting home late and being exhausted and never wanting to do anything and it equals a bad situation.
I’m planning on looking for jobs now that my vacation/personal/sick days have refreshed for 2010 but I’m in publishing and, between the internet and the economy, the industry isn’t in the best shape.
Sometimes I think about just doing something completely different but then I realize I have no idea what that would be. I just feel totally stuck and that’s the worst.
Post # 12
Well, it seems as though I’ve developed TMJ and some other not fun habits due to sitting at a desk all day. I dream of escaping and days where I have human interaction and how “someday” i’ll have it all!
In the meantime, I work out. A lot, when I’m not in classes. I start school in like, 2 weeks so i’m just enjoying the 4o hour weeks right now. It feels “social” to me to work out (yes even tho i talk to no one) and helps curb my appetite so i don’t just come home and polish off a pint of ice cream b/c i feel like moping and dragging my feet.
I’m not a snappy person with DH, but I do get moody and mopey and “bummy”. A glass of wine and a solid half hour of watching whatever i want on tv (even if it’s stupid like Bridezillas, ie NOT sports or football recaps) helps. A hot shower, slathering on my favorite lotion, putting slippers on…really, i cherish the little things.
I don’t feel any sense of accomplishment anymore b/c I just don’t care. And that “don’t care” atittude is turning into nonchalance and sort of a crappy attitude towards other people. I’m becoming spiteful inside and I don’t like it.
Post # 13
“I don’t feel any sense of accomplishment anymore b/c I just don’t care. And that “don’t care” atittude is turning into nonchalance and sort of a crappy attitude towards other people. I’m becoming spiteful inside and I don’t like it.”
^^^THIS is exactly how I feel too, ejs. It’s terrible.
Post # 14
I actually slammed my office door today, after someone pissed me off. Three times, actually. I’m becoming as immature as they are!! I’ve GOT to get out of here!!!
Post # 15
@Layla – I wish I had a door to slam. I say this now because I’m a cube dweller, but part of me thinks I would manage a little better if I had an actual office. That’s probably not even true, though. So sad.
Post # 16
Yeah. That’s why I need to change careers. I feel SO BAD and guilty and ungrateful complaining, though. Tons of people would kill for a cushy engineering job (flex time, sit at a desk, not very stressful, etc), particularly one that pays so well =(. It’s not…rewarding I guess? And even when I DO have accomplishments and do good things, it’s not the kind of rewarding feeling I need…does that make sense?
@laylabelle, want me to come over and kick some butt with you? We can put their staplers in jello =]