How do you deal with nosy coworkers?

posted 3 years ago in Career
Post # 3
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@vegas:  It can be annoying.  I get all kinds of unsolicited advice too.  

I just wonder why you think they are judging you?  

I just smile and entertain ideas about the wedding I’m planning, as I’ve found that once people have already had their day…it’s gone, and they just want to feel apart of it in some way. 

Post # 4
Member
4410 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

…really? You don’t think they’re just genuinely interested? If I know someone at work is getting married, I always ask them about how it’s going, and yeah, I know I’m not invited. It’s just my way of being nice and trying to connect on a human level. Maybe just relax a little and give people the benefit of the doubt. 

Post # 7
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

If you never share personal info, maybe they’re using it as an oppertunity to get to know you better?

Post # 9
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@vegas:  I can be shy/reclusive at times.  I network and all of that, but I do try to keep to myself as well.  As soon as people heard that SO and I are saving for our wedding and planning to get engaged….FLOOD GATES of people and women that I barely talk to who work in my department have just stopped by to talk about it.  It can be hard but even though I have a general idea of what I want, I try to just let other people talk and chime in where I can.

Hang in there!  Cool

Post # 10
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’m just really vague in my answers. I try to be nice and chit chat and then just tell them I’m really busy and get back to work. 

Post # 11
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

If they’re married ask them about their wedding, and then find something positive to comment on that makes it seem like their wedding was better than yours. “You’re elopement sounds so romantic, and so less stressful than planning a buffet for 100 people.” “Wow you did all the flowers yourself? I wish I was that talented.” You won’t have to answer as many questions about yours, and you beat them to punch if they are secretly judging you. 

Post # 12
Member
6505 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@vegas:  wow… It sounds to be like they are just trying to be nice. I ask people how their planning is going if I know they are engaged.

Have they done something in the past that makes you think they’re judging you? Perhaps they really are just trying to be nice. Just because it doesn’t affect them doesn’t mean you can’t talk to them about it. I have conversations all the time about stuff that doesn’t actually affect my life.

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