How do you deal with opinions on names?

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 4
3119 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Gosh that’s so brutal! I think you’ve helped me solidify our decision not to share our names until the baby is born. That’s awful, and so annoying. At least she didn’t downright insult the name you’ve chosen – beautiful by the way. 

No advice…just maybe shut down the conversation if she brings it up again. And don’t share your boy name if it’s a boy. I have no idea why some people think they have a right to have a say in what someone else names their child. 

Post # 5
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My MIL asked me if we had names picked out (we’re team green). I said no not really, but she kept pushing wanting to know what names I liked. When I told her, she tore them all apart and I immediately felt myself getting pissed and defensive! After that I told my husband we are not discussing names with ANYONE, until baby is here and named with something him and I both love. When people ask me about names I just tell them that subject if off limits, regardless of who it is. Some people take offense to that, but I really don’t care. This is our child, and we’ll name him/her what we want! Most of my friends and family are fine with our decision not to discuss it though.

Post # 6
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m only 8 weeks and the name games have already started! All in good fun, for now at least. Our universal defense is to insist that – regardless of gender – we’re naming the baby Charlie. Our dog’s name is Charlie. This tends to end the conversation!

Post # 8
7915 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

@bloodgo1:  sounds like DH did a good job of handling it. I would just continue to say “thanks for your input” and smile, nod, change the subject.

If she pushed more “yes, I heard you mention that already, thank you. How about that superbowl>?”

It is so weird and annoying and rude of her! Also typically if a baby girl gets a family name… its from her maternal family!! They need to just…. stop.

If it gets out of hand DH needs to call him mom and tell her to respect you guys and back off.

Post # 9
1106 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@bloodgo1:  Ugh, talk about frustrating! sorry you’re going through that!

As soon as we got pregnant, one of my mom’s first pieces of advice was: don’t share any of your name choices with anyone, because they may change and you’re not going to care what anyone else thinks of your choices, anyway!

we’re going to stand by this as best we can, hopefully to avoid your situation!!

Post # 10
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@bloodgo1:   Oh boy, I’m really sorry for you. Some people really need to filter themselves and realise they don’t have any say in your pregnancy!!

I just had the talk with my husband over the weekend about us not sharing our name ideas. He was oblivious until I explained what may happen from our families if they don’t like our choices. So we decided to tell people we’re going to call our child Rodney (obviously we’re not) or failing that, Papaya Avocado. That’ll shut people up. 

Post # 11
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@bloodgo1:  I’d go with “We have a name picked–But it’s going to be a secret until (s)he’s born!”

Also: When I thought I was having a boy, I divulged our girls’ name choice (Annabelle Mae) to my Mom, who grew up on a farm.

She immediately went “Moo!” And I went “…What?” And she went “MOO! Annabelle?! That’s a COW name!”

But then it was a girl. And her name is Annabelle Mae, and I have a HILARIOUS story to tell her about Grandma. That’s the best part of people’s terrible reactions to your name choice!

Post # 12
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My name battle comes between my aunt and myself. Back at Christmas we were 16 weeks and didn’t know the gender. This being said we had names for both a boy and a girl. The girl name we were having a rough time with as the name we had loved was too high on the popularity list for 2013. So after much brain wracking we came up with a new girls name that we really liked.

Christmas day we were hanging out with the family and my VERY OPINONATED aunt breaches the topic of names in front of the whole Family. We were not hiding it so we told everyone if it is a boy: Zach and if a girl we are thinking: Hazel. 

My aunt had a Effen FIT Over the name hazel! “OH MY GOD THAT’S A WITCH’S NAME!!” That was the biggest takeaway quote I got from it… WTF? I thought it was my DH and my choice what to name our offspring!?

As it turns out, we are having a boy so the argument is moot point but still! I am still angry about it. This was also after she told me that I looked like a beached whale because I was tired and leaning back on the couch… I am so happy I have several months before I am forced to be in the same room as this woman again.

Post # 13
5905 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@bloodgo1:  Smeesh!  She’s really wound up on this whole name thing, isn’t she?  I find its best to stay out of the affairs of others, especially when it comes to things as permanent and significant as naming a baby…the thing I hate, is when a couple has agonized over the name for all those months, and then…over dinner, they cannot contain themselves and tell us the name they’ve picked and its awful….

Mavis Ledonna Schwartzenburger

And Mr. 99 and I are just sitting there, in the fallout of the worst baby name in the history of the Earth, and they’re waiting for us to tell them how awesome it is….

Do what you want and let your MIL thing whatever she wants, at the end of the day, its your choice, she knows that and fighting about it is silly.  She named her kids, this one is yours.

Post # 14
2129 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

My husband and I aren’t even trying for a baby yet, but my family is really excited of the prospect of our future child since we’ll be the first of our generation to have a kid on both his side and my side of the family! So due to this we’ve had a LOT of personal and prying questions/opinions on everything, including names. So far I have deflected the discussion successfully by simply smiling and nodding when they make suggestions (even though at the end of the day I don’t actually take their opinions into consideration) and if they ask what names we like I say, “We have some names in mind, but it’s a surprise!”. 

Post # 15
5248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m not even pregnant yet but I have already decided that when I’am I will not be sharing any of my names I like. People will know the name once the baby is born

Post # 16
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We’re beginning to deal with the whole name game and have decided to say “we’re still deciding” so we don’t get the nasty looks, blank stares, or “Oh gosh, I knew so and so with that name and hated her!” 

Both our girl and boy names have the same initials, which is nice to just call the baby LJ. 🙂  Our close friends and family know, but we’re not telling anyone else.

It was also somewhat difficult to come up with a name we both liked – my husband is Puerto Rican and likes more Spanish sounding names and I’m Irish-Catholic and like older, Irish names (and Saints names).  So we are going for a mixture in both witht he first and middle name. 

I think you women on here that have posted are saints for not going off on family members! 

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