How do you deal with people bringing up your wedding when they are not invited?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
567 posts
Busy bee

@March1stBride:  People will come out of the wood work when you have a wedding…they all want to come, but not necessarily to see you, some just want the free food and booze, lol.

I say to those who bring up the wedding, “I am so excited to get married, and I wish I could of invited everyone I was friends with, but we decided to have just family, bridal party and only a few couples/friends that we are with on a monthly basis, due to how expensive weddings are.

Don’t feel bad about not inviting them, its like $100 for each person at weddings & you will regret inviting ppl that you barely talk to or you aren’t that close too…bc in reality YOU are paying for a $100 dinner, drinks, and decor just for them

Post # 4
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Backyard

I am in the same boat! I am not inviting my co-workers, as we are keeping it a very small wedding. I have been invited to and attended weddings and baby-showers of theirs, and so feel kind of bad I am not inviting them to my own wedding. But, we just don’t want that many people. We want it small and intimate, not a place for everyone we’ve ever known to “watch” us get married, you know?

If anyone has some thoughful suggestions, please share!

Post # 5
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We are open and as suave as possible about only inviting CLOSE friends and family. It’s so awkward though. I force myself to get over it in 2.2 seconds after it happens. It’s one of those things I have to just “get over” or else I will let it eat me up. 

Post # 6
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee

I smile and chuckle awkwardly, before and after muttering something incoherent & noncommittal. 😛

Post # 7
Member
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

It depends. All the women I work with love talking about weddings so I don’t mind (when they ask) because I know they’re just genuinely interested and not fishing for an invite. 

Post # 8
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2014

ChicFoodist: YES!!!!

Post # 9
Member
1197 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I think most people who bring up my wedding are just genuinely curious and aren’t fishing for invites!  I have a girl at work here who always asks me for some reason – her wedding wasn’t long ago and I think she likes reliving the experience.  if someone else starts talking to me about it, I usually try to stress how SMALL we’re making it, just so they kinda get the point!

Post # 11
Member
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

@March1stBride:  If someone asked me about my wedding, then I answered them. 

Post # 12
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I have the same problem, I even had a ex boyfriend come up to me last weekend at a wedding and ask How he could get invited to our wedding… ahhh no thank you. Ex’s are not on the list! We have 150 people coming and I had to be very careful as to who we did and didn’t invite. One thing we did was think to ourselves, would we go out to dinner with this friend or couple one on one or do we just see them randomly because we have other friends/interest alike. I don’t feel bad for not inviting the occasional friend, even if I was invited to their wedding. Sorry its about our close friends and families its not just a party.

Post # 13
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Haha when I first got engaged, an older woman at my work (40 ish,  most people are in their 20s) was asking me about our wedding plans. When I told her I was thinking a DW, she was like “that’s gonna be so fun”… I walked away awkwardly. Why do people assume they’re invited? The only time I see this girl outside of work is if other people from work go out for drinks. And I don’t mean to be a bitch, but I seriously can’t stand this woman. She’s SO rude and self absorbed. If for some reason I did invite her,  I know she would complain about every little thing. 

End rant lol

When other people at work ask, they sound genuinely interested and they don’t sound like they’re fishing for an invite. 

Post # 14
Member
906 posts
Busy bee

I had a few friends who got married and during their engagement I would ask how the planning is going but I wouldn’t expect a invite. 

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