How do you deal with someone who complains all the time? [vent]

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Deejayelle:  I rephrase what they are saying- that way they hear what they sound like and clearly it means that you listened. 


Complainer “My neck is SO sore”

Me ” your neck is sore”

Complainer – “yeah I mustve slept on it wrong”

me- “yeah you mustve slept on it wrong or something”

complainer “yeah I may need to get a new pillow”

Me- “you def need to get a new pillow”

Complainer- “yeah Im gunna get a new pillow”

— me- just nod and say OK


— I keep it monotone, I dont use inflections (to sound like questions). I just restate it. Eventually theres nothing more they can say. You clearly are hearing them out- but not giving sympathy, or asking questions– and the conversation will ALWAYS die out or they will turn the conversation to something else. Try to switch up how you rephrase it so it doesnt sound like you are repeating them.


Post # 4
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I have a frenemy/colleague that’s like this. Holy fuck he’s the biggest hypochondriac ever. No lie, he’s convinced he has a new terminal illness every week. Or he’s upset that someone commented something negative on his Facebook post, even though he chooses to have 4800 friends and to make literally 12 posts a day.

At this point in my relationship with this person, I’m just blunt. The trick for me is to refuse to validate it. It’s pretty hard to have a one sided conversation.

Him: “What are the symptoms for colon cancer? I’ve been having really bad stomach pains lately.”

Me: “Why are you talking to me about your personal health concerns? Make a doctors appointment.”

Him: “I can’t believe so-and-so said that about my Facebook post… I’m so hurt.”

Me: “Then deactivate Facebook. Nobody forces you to be on there.”

Post # 5
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

@SparkleBee11:  That’s the *best* approach I’ve ever heard for people like that. Genius! 

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