Post # 1
Background: My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years, lived together for 1.5 years. He just recently moved 10 hours away for a job.
I’m struggling a lot, mostly because I’m so used to being around him and I honestly just want to move to his state now. However, we talked about it, and I wouldn’t move until he passes the 6 month period at his job and he is sure it’s going to work out. That would be okay, but he’s saying now that he’s not even sure he likes the job, and he may end up moving somewhere else. So basically, at this point, there’s no real time line for me moving. It’s driving me a little bonkers, and it’s not helped by the fact that I don’t really like my living situation right now. However, I’m paying very little for rent, and there is no lease, so it does give me the opportunity to save money.
I just get upset at the thought of not knowing what’s in my future, or when I will finally be able to move with him. It was even worse when I returned from our visit together, because I feel so much anxiety about our situation.
Anyone in a similar situation? How do you cope?
Post # 3
@NK2012: When my now FI and I did long distance in our early relationship, I used to keep a bottle of his cologne around the house, and a couple shirts….so when he left i always had his sent (which sounds kinda creepy typed out….but it was a source of comfort)….and I would always wear a spra or 2 of his cologne in the first few days after he visited, and then when he left luckily i was in school so i was always swamped with stuff to do, and then i would try and go out with girlfriends, and just keep busy and text myself into an overage on my phone bill….after about the first 3 days he left it would get a little easier….but once wehad done itfor about a year i found a routine to help cope…
Post # 4
@kansas_nurse: I did that too!! I kept one of my boyfriend’s shirt that smelled like his cologne. I sleep in it and it helps me fall asleep.
As as for the after visit blues I honestly try to keep busy. Easier said than done. My boyfriend and I are long distance as well (different countries) and the last time I saw him I cried so hard when my plane was taking off it was so embarrassing lol. The days go by so slow when you dwell on things so just keep busy with friends, hobbies, work, school etc. and countdown to your next visit (if you know when it is). Work, gym, my book clubs and girlfriends keep me occupied. Doesn’t mean that sometimes I don’t wanna scream and cry though.
Also lots of FaceTime helps. As for the future, it sucks not to know when you guys will be permanently together again. Having no date to look forward to makes it harder but that’s out of your hands so don’t think about it too much. Focus on the good things and allow yourself to feel sad a few times, nothing wrong with that.
Post # 5
@NK2012: We are only 2 hours apart so I see him every weekend. However it still isn’t the best, I miss him during the week and want to have a normal relationship like my friends do. The best thing for me was when we got engaged, we were able to set a date right away and I can always think to myself that by that time I will be living with him.
Post # 6
My husband (back when he was my boyfriend) would always leave me a little something when he’d leave (a note, one of his shirts, etc.) and that would help a little.
Post # 6
NK2012: the after visit blues, ive been home for a week, from a visit. and its finally started to hit again. another month… maybe he will be back. people keep asking me and we have no idea how long this job will take. hes a days travel away. i just need to keep busy and tell myself every day i get threw is closer to him. that in the end we will be cuddled up on the couch watching tv when he comes back. he was gone a month and a half till i went to visit. luckily work said it was fine but when i go visit, i have to help with the job. its driving me nuts and him even more nuts. cant wait till this is over and the worst little things are happening, and causing the job to take longer. ugg. i actually started baking and making him a box to send. so maybe it helps keeping myself busy by making somethign for him.