How do you deal with the pity?

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
5506 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

I know exactly what you mean. Luckily for me, I had a few close co-workers who were all going through the same thing (and went through IVF around the same time as me, too) so we bonded over it and supported each other. I guess now that they know, just keep quiet about it if you prefer so that you don’t get any more pity looks or comments. But maybe you’ll find it helps to get support from them in the future? If not, just keep everything from here on our more vague. “Thanks, it is going well….”  then change the subject. Good luck at the RE!

Post # 4
704 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Ugh.  I feel your pain, lady!  While people are trying to be empathetic and supportive, it really does make me feel worse…like I’m defective or something.  What also annoys me–which, again, people are just trying to be supportive–is when people say, “Oh, it will definitely happen.  Just give it time!”  Like WHAT!  No one knows if it will happen, and I have been giving it time…duh!  Again, I completely realize people say such a thing to have something to say, to be nice, but it just so doesn’t help.  And, really, what can they say?  I don’t think anyone can say anything to make me feel better, really.


I have an appt with a new OB in March.  I’m curious to see what this doc has to say…I want her to be the one to recommend me to an RE.  I hope you get answers fast as a result of going to an RE!  That’s actually exciting; they are the experts that can really help you.  I’m sure we’ll be talking again, but best wishes in the meantime 🙂


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