How do you deal with this level of crazy?!

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

12345abc:  I would politely explain once that they were all optional, then ignore her! I hate people like that!

Post # 3
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

12345abc:  Lol… oh my… That reminds me of someone in my family too. Try not to take it personally, some people just like to complain, no matter what you do they will find something to complain about.

Tell her nothing is being forced and if she doesn’t like your options she can figure it all out herself, or not come.

Have FI talk to her, he knows her the best and he should be able to put her in her place. Everntually it will blow over, but I know it can be annoying. Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
3711 posts
Sugar bee

12345abc:  I hear you! I have a crazy SIL who pushed her daughter to personally ask mine and another cousin, if she could be a flowergirl in their weddings. It didn’t work. The girl is now 14 and will have to live the rest of her life carrying the burden of trauma that she was never a flowergirl. Oh well …

Is there any chance that your FI can tell her that you’ve decided to have an adult only wedding, thererfore, you no longer will be using a flower girl? (Who puts professional make-up on a 4-year old, anyway?)

Post # 7
Member
213 posts
Helper bee

ughhh she sounds difficult. Try to ignore her. It sounds like you’ve explained your side, that is all you can do!

BTW I do not think you sound demanding at all but more thoughtful!!

Post # 8
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

12345abc: a glass of really nice scotch. 

in all seriousness, remind her that “no” is a word even a two year old knows, so she can feel free to decline your thoughtful and generous hospitality and make her own arrangements or decline to go. 

eTA: her daughter is a flowergirl?! So mommy has major projection issues!

Remind her that she pushed for flower girl status and pro hair and makeup. She needs to stfu and do what she’s told or else she’s going to ruin her daughter’s fg experience. 

you are too nice and I’m sorry this is happening to you. 

Post # 11
Member
213 posts
Helper bee

 

12345abc:  some people are ALWAYS going to be negative/have something to complain about! try not to let it get you down!! hugs to you!

Post # 12
Member
716 posts
Busy bee

Has she never been to a wedding before? Does she not know that people typically provide a recommended hotel at which they’ve secured a preferred rate? Does she not know that a welcome dinner/drinks is hospitable for out of town guests? Does she not realize that the childcare is way above and beyond the call of duty and not something anyone would ever actually expect you to provide?

Of course the hotel and welcome drinks are optional, that’s understood. As long as you made it clear that the childcare is optional and not required because you don’t want kids at your wedding, then I see no problem here other than an unreasonable and rude SIL.

Post # 13
Member
7219 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

12345abc:  you could try southern belling your way out of this one. Really sweetly tell her since it’s so much trouble, you’d be willing to forget the flower girl promise and they can show up when everyone else does. Tell her you thought she’d appreciate having a nice room and child care, but since she doesn’t think she’ll be wanting them, you’ll give the room to someone else. 

finish her off with,  ” bless your heart, we had no idea how hard it was going to be for you to have DD in our wedding. Don’t you worry about it, it’s done!” Kiss. Kiss. 

Drink.

Ignore her.  

Post # 14
Member
439 posts
Helper bee

Tinatiny1:  That would be AMAZING. OP, I highly recommend this route.

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