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I usually get out of the house, whether it be shopping, going for a run, or meeting a friend for a vent session! He hates when I just up and leave, but sometimes I need to clear my head!
@MrsMcGyro: i take my frustrations out on our house. DH knows he is in the doghouse when he comes home to find the house COMPLETELY clean, otherwise, there is always something messy.
But wine also really really helps. Sadly, I fly off the handle at him more than I should, like last night when i had to FORCE him to sit down and write two thank you notes, it's been almost 4 months since our wedding btw, and he was whining about writing them! I want to kill him sometimes, i really do. . .it's like he is 10 years old
I feel like this right now!!! FH is pissing me off today because he keeps making excuses to skip class. I know I'm not his mom so I don't nag, but why ask me if you should go to class, and then you don't? WTF?! lol
Usually, I say my opinion once, then I stop talking about it. The more I talk about something, the angrier I get. I try to take a walk or doing some retail therapy. Luckily, he works nights, so I have those to myself.
We retreat to separate corners and pout silently. I usually break first and need to talk it out. I can't go too long without resolving it - lest I drive myself bonkers.
If I'm just plain frustrated vs. uspet, I realize I start to CLEAN of all things ... gotta get the aggresion out SOMEHOW.
Is it bad that my first thought was....do it and hope he bounces? LOL! I kid, I kid.
If I am having a bad day he usually knows it and tries to tread lightly. If he has done something that annoys me he usually gives me distance for a while until I cool down. I am the personality type that doesn't cling to issues for a long period of time and typically forget what I was upset about.
I have a really bad temper. Usually I either just go to another room and try to cool off. Last week I was annoyed (I dont even remember why), so I left and went to get a pedicure. By the time I got back I had forgotten why I was mad :)
We are pouters lol. I'll clean (loudly) and he'll just sit/lay where he was. A lot of the time I'll just get frustrated and he won't understand why (usually I'm just being irritable) and he'll just go on with his normal business as I'm banging the dishwasher door shut! After awhile I'll cave and we'll talk it out and it's all better :)
@ktisthatbees: hahaha our latest fight was about thank you notes too. Why can't guys just get something done in a reasonable timeframe without you having to ask them over and over again? It has me SEETHING!
I'm an angry cleaner too, but usually that will only serve to make me more angry because it's usually his mess I'm cleaning. It's a viscious cycle!
I usually bake up a storm, that's the cue for him that I'm pissed off big time. I'll also clean like crazy. Then when I'm calm again we talk lol. He's the opposite, he just pouts for ever
Oh, I'm having one of those days. FI works nights and he has been doing major overyime this week. I get it, he's tired. I take care of our daughter all day, every day with the only break being nap time and I manage to cook, clean, do laundry, do dishes, take out the trash, go food shopping, as well as work (DD comes with me!) and try to take care of myself. This morning I asked him if he could please put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher and he said, "Why can't you? It's not that hard. You just rinse them off and put them in." I swear I almost told him to go sleep in the car. Instead I calmly reminded him that for the past week he has not done one single chore and even made a verbal list for him. I have an excellent memory and he often forgets it. I sent him to bed without a kiss goodnight, too! Hmph.
ETA: I realize I went a bit off topic, but damn it feels good to vent.
I usually kick him out and make him sleep in his truck for the night. 
@MrsMcGyro: sooo true! It's always his mess I'm cleaning, which then gives me another reason to seeth. I'll be passive aggressive sometimes and seperate out my laundry from his and only do mine, but then he gets more mad! Ughh, we need Dr. Phil to just camp out in our living room
@MrsMcGyro: oh that was your 1000th post!!! Yay! Sorry I get excited haha
@ktisthatbees: I do that with the laundry too! Its so passive agressive but I just can't help myself!
@couawilou: It was? Oh my! I'm offical now!
I WISH I did something constructive like cleaning or baking when I'm annoyed with him. What usually happens is I just try to avoid him. It sounds simple, but it is very hard for me to do, because my natural inclination is to want to talk it out, but I have found that often makes things worse. So I avoid him, which sends him a very strong signal that I'm upset. Eventually, he will come to me and give me a hug and then everything is better.
If you're in the mood and not too aggrevated, writing/typing a letter but never sending it helps, too. At least you can get all your thoughts out and sometimes it helps put it together for later when something is discussed without being completely irrational.
Honestly, I just tell him. I usually preface with I don't want to nag, BUT...I'm going to anyway lol.
I give him the silent treatment until I can calm down enough to tell him why I'm pissed off.
Or I'm sarcastic (which is not the good route, and I try not to do that).
I really haven't found a good coping mechanism yet, but somehow DH always gets me calmed down. He has a way of making me feel sheepish for being so worked up. And he's mostly right, because getting angry won't help anything.
Well currently FI is due to pay our electronic bill. For some reason he can't find it in him to log into our account and hit PAY. Why Bees, why? He spends his nights on the internet but for some reason he can't go to the samn pepco site and hit submit. Is it only because I asked?
The plate from the rice and chicken dish he ate THREE nights ago is still on the dining roon table. The leftover rice is dried and crusty on the plate, which means clean up will be longer. I have left it there for three days. Is he waiting for me to wash it? idk.
His tie has been draped over our dining room chair for a week.
I dont have a good way to deal with this. All I know is that when the hurricane hits Im going to thrown him right out there with the rain and winds, along with his crusty plate and tie.
@Aubergold: That is crazy! I would tell him the other plates are dirty and he has to eat off of that one. :) Then, I would choke him with his tie.
@Aubergold: I finally told DH one day that I was going to start moving all of the crap he leaves around the house and dumping it on his side of the bed. Paperwork, empty glasses, dirty laundry, shoes. EVERYTHING. His side of the bed currently is under a sea of crap, but i don't care, at least the mess is in HIS area instead of all over the house.
After MONTHS of getting on to him about using q-tips to clean out his ears and then tossing them on the floor (he shoots for the trash can, but 9 times out of 10 he missed) i had finally had enough of cleaning up his dirty nasty q-tips off the floor. I told him that for any future q-tips I found on the floor, they would suddenly make their way to his pillow. It only took two instances of him finding used q-tips on his pillow for him to suddendly find the energy to WALK over to the trash can and throw them away.
Men, ughh
I have not necessarily had those feelings, but what happens with us is that DH will do something (accidentally- but still, i would not have DONE that) that is difficult for me to understand and it will get him into a huge problem- but I feel like I cannot get mad at him even though I really really want to (like- "what were you thinking?! It is never okay not to yeild!") Things like that. Sigh. But he was not raised the way I was, and apparently, did not have drivers ed. :/ It is stressful for me to have to worry about him and the things he might not know/ has not learned- how could I even know what they are? I want to protect him, but at the same time, the stress is way too much for me to have both of us to concern myself with. I am working on not worrying, but it is tough! Sorry for the rant, that is just my biggest situation with DH right now.
If I am feeling really angry though as the OP suggested, I would find a way to talk it out- maybe while going for a powerwalk or something, so something constructive is happening to all that energy. That is at least what we do when we have some stressful situation we have to deal with together- it helps. I don't know what to do about my situation though, because he already feels bad, but I also want to be able to express myself to him :/ Basically I try to be as gentle as possible with him... it can take a lot of control and patience! -While still trying to get myself heard/ get my point across. Can be trying!
@MrsCoachBtoBee: that is a good one!!
@ktisthatbees: do you know how hard you made me laugh?! I cannot stop howling over here, haha. Fi also leaves his NASTY ASS q tips all on the dresser drawer, the night stand, anywhere he physically was when he dug out his waxy ears. I am TOTALLY leaving them on this pillow case. He also has a small alcove in our bedroon where I throw all his stuff, Im definitely gonna put the dishes there, that'll show him! This is great stuff!!
We really don't stay angry with each other for long--like maybe 20-30 minutes, tops. We just avoid each other until the anger goes away, and then we talk.
I feel a lot better knowing other people's relationships aren't perfect. I know that sounds so silly, but I only talk to my friends. They are pretty crazy.. I feel like am crazy sometimes. My FI tells me I'm acting crazy, and that sets me off! I feel like we aren't aloud to fight. Maybe FBIL and FSIL don't fight as much?They are all really laid back people.
I feel like I don't bitch as much as I could. I'm usually the one that does the dishes, but there have been numerous times I come home and they are done. I do laundry, and here we don't have a dryer. I have to hang them on the line. If he is home, he helps. I never get mad at him for not doing dishes or cleaning the house.
I think I don't complain about certain things, because I make up for it in other areas! haha Most of the time I'm just irritable. Some of his family didn't get save the dates because I never got addresses. I told him if he wasn't in a rush to get them to me, they can't be that important. Im not in a rush to go to the PO and send them out! He could if he wanted and he hasn't either. ANNOYING
I do have a temper though, once I'm pissed.. watch out! I'll either clean (loudly)or ignore him for awhile then break down and talk to him. I'm very sarcastic which makes things worse.
I have to physically separate myself from him. I might be in the same room, but I need to be on the opposite side. If he's not around, I clean. If he is, I get super silent, wait for him to ask then I let him have it. I find it very cathartic to initiate verbal warfare when I'm pissed at him. I never call names or scream, but I let him have it.
I throw him off a roof...
What? No one else does this? Its only a 1 story house, he wont die...
Kidding...
But seriously though we just step away from the situation for a bit and regroup when we are calmer...
@Running Elley: THIS IS ME. HAHAHAHA!
I get so much accomplished, it's insane. I'll pout and give the silent treat while I do laundry, vaccuum...dust...anything to use up my angry energy.
He will sulk and watch TV.
By the next day all is forgotten.
Come to think of it...I better pick a fight because our house is getting cluttered!
When I'm being immature, silent treatment, watching TV and just tuning him out. But if I'm really pissed, then I leave the house cause we just can't share the same air.
i too am an angry cleaner! though i was seriously contemplating throwing SO off the roof these past 2 weeks. that and/or possibly stangle him and our other roomates
just moved into a new house and i get to unpack the whole house, clean the house(being royally peeved about having to unpack the whole house heelped with this) And take care of the 10 month old while roomies lounge around playing computer games. i admit i have been kind b*tchtastic but hey do ya blame me? the whole lot of them dont get up until 3 in the afternoon and diring this whole time i have been trying to get everything in some semblance of control THEY INVITED SOMEONE TO COME CRASH FOR A WEEK!!!! and he has an even worse scedual than they do. i was contemplating if i could get off the murder charges with temporary insanity. oh and to top it all off... the ring box with the rings is missing(whole different story)! and guess who is the only one trying to find it... yep thats right me. sorry about the rant but yeah angry cleaning and "accidentally for getting they are still sleeping" while i put up pictures is what is keeping me away from 25-life :P
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Let's be frank ladies- no relationship is perfect, and we can't always be the best communicators all of the time, especially when we're upset, so my question is what are your tips for not commiting homicide? Silent treatments, retail therapy, wine?