How do you deal with your partner's ejaculation issues?

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
2684 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

@candy11:  Does he have the same problem when he masturbates? The first thing I would suggest would be for him to have a medical exam.

Post # 5
Member
1007 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@candy11:  I would definitely recommend him seeing a doctor about this. Just because he doesn’t have a problem achieving an erection, doesn’t mean he may not have a problem. It could be something that is caused by an imbalance, an allergy to something, anything. Please don’t be shy about this, definitely take him to a doctor and speak up about it. Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
1007 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@candy11:  I’d start with a doctor that specializes in men’s health.

Post # 8
Member
2684 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

@candy11:  I’d see the regular doctor first. If it’s beyond the stuff the doc deals with normally, he/she will suggest a specialist (and will know what kind of specialist to suggest.) If it’s not a medical issue, there are things you can do! This is definitely an issue for some guys (it’s not completely rare!) – you can google it and find suggestions. Here’s one link – http://sexedsolutions.com/my%20mom%20takes%20forever%20to%20come.pdf

Post # 9
Member
7193 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@candy11:  Whenever it’s a woman having trouble orgasming, common advice is that a lot of it’s in the mind, that if you’re in the right frame of mind when you come to bed (not stressed, thinking sexy thoughts, feeling sexy, etc), that things happen much quicker. (And that’s certainly true for me!).

Now conventional wisdom is that men are not like that and can get aroused easily. But maybe your DH is an exception? Are there the things the two of you can do to get him in the right frame of mind before you start? It certainly can’t hurt to try.

Otherwise +1 with everyone else about seeing a doctor.

Post # 10
Member
6270 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@candy11:  have him make an appointment with his doctor?  does the same thing happen when he masterbates?

Post # 11
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@candy11:  You said you doubt he has any medical issues but you are not a doctor (I assume). If he is a young, healthy man then this is not normal. He should get checked out, in my opinion.

Post # 12
Member
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

some men can have normal erections who suffer from low testosterone however they normally cannot ejaculate.  Is he on anti-depressant medications? The majority of them have sexual side effect of anorgasmia (lack of orgasm)

Post # 14
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I had a boyfriend with this issue.  He had an undiagnosed urinary tract infection.  I would say going to the doctor wouldn’t hurt, but he might be embarassed.

Post # 16
Member
1015 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@candy11:  Do you guys talk openly about the issue? 

 

My SO used to do this before we started talking about it more openly. He explained that he would get nervous he would finish too fast and not satisfy me, and that anxiety would sort of build and end up not allowing him to finish. Once I understood that, we were able to figure out how we could communicate during sex to signal that he needed to stop trying to control it.

 

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