Post # 1
Yeah– this is a serious post. I dont know who to invite to my wedding. I haven’t gotten much help from my family or friends and I don’t know who else to turn to but my fellow bees! I dont have much family and I dont have a really close group of friends. I have friends that I used to be close with but I haven’t spoken to in a while (maybe a year?) in quite a few different groups (ex. old high school friends, old co-workers, etc)…. I really don’t know if it would be silly to invite them since it’s been so long or if I really would even want them there. Then again– I’m very indecisive and feel like once they’re there and participating in my festivities I willl be so happy I decided to invite them and reconnect. I dont really have tons of time to go around and reconnect before the save the dates and such are sent out. Partially the reason for letting my friendships dwindle is because I am in law school and extremely busy as are they with their lives.
Should I invite peers in law school whom I only speak to in school but yet I probably speak to more than some out of school friends?….
Should I invite old best friends that I used to be really close with but have had a falling out with, even if we’ve since spoken/appologized?….
Should I invite old friends that I havent had a falling out with but don’t really keep in touch anymore due to mutual busy schedules?…..
I really have no idea how to decide. I don’t know if they’d feel awkward or obligated to receive an invite or if they’d be happy. I don’t know if I’ll regret it once I do or dont… I had a hard enough time picking my bridal party let alone my entire guest list.
Any tips or rules of thumb? 🙁 sorry if this post is just a big indecisive blurb of crap I am just so torn….
Post # 3
When it came to friends, we had a 6 month rule. Anyone who we haven’t talked to in 6 months – unless there was a REALLY good excuse – like a few friends who are out of the country on tour or in the military – will not get invited. I figure if we’re not close enough to wish each other happy birthday or happy holidays, we’re not THAT close.
Post # 4
@mandypop: I’ve heard this and I totally agree but what really counts as “talking”? For example I have a lot of friends I talk to on facebook its difficult to plan a date to hang out… does this count? or only people I’ve actually “hung out” with or “talked to” in person? 🙁 so much confusion lol
Post # 5
I honestly just had to ask myself if I could imagine them being happy for us at the ceremony and having fun at the reception. We chose people we were closest with to invite. I also asked myself if I would be invited to their wedding if they were getting married. Worked for us. Good luck!
Post # 6
@itshouldsnow:Thanks for the tips 🙂
Post # 7
I would invite people that you speak to now, and disregard the people in your past. If they talk to you now, I would invite them, but personally, I have cut a lot of people out from my past. I talk to a bunch of different people on facebook, but if I saw them in real life, I probably wouldn’t have much to say to them. If I wouldn’t pay for them to eat any other time, why would I shell out $100 for you to eat/drink now?
It’s very tricky because you never want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but that happens sometimes. I think that if you start reaching out to people in your past, you will then be like , “oh and I have to invite Betty because I invited Barbara.” Then, the list just grows and grows. Stick to your guns. 🙂 It’s really tough.
Post # 8
I started with asking myself three things:
1. How many people do we want total?
2. Who do we have to invite – parents, siblings, etc.?
3. What groups do we maybe want to invite (in order) if we have room?
We looked at who would likely come from #2 and how close that would put us to the limit in #1. If we’d had extra spaces, we would have asked the first group from #3, then the second, etc. In our case, #2 ended up being bigger than #1, so we didn’t invite any of the “extras”.
Post # 9
It sounds like you’re feeling pressured by some expectation to have a certain # of people to invite. DONT BE!! Just invite your nearest & dearest. Your wedding is probably one of the most important events of your life — my rule of thumb was to choose people who would be there at the 1) birth of my first child or 2) 20 year anniversary. Think Besties. Think people that you love & know through-and-through. For some people, that’s just your future husband and some few family members. For some it’s a cast of thousands.
But if you’re thinking you shouldn’t invite people because you don’t know them well enough, don’t. It’s too expensive. And your wedding pictures are too precious to look back at in 10 years and think “who’s that?” 🙂
So….simple answer….who is in your phone today, that if you had a problem, you would call tomorrow? Invite them.