(Closed) How do you dump your best friend?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
7908 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I’d just let it fade away. I’ve ended two toxic friendships and I didn’t handle either very well. I wish I had just let the friendship slip into nothingness.

Post # 4
Member
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

What exactly did she do? I mean…you did get drunk and bash him. Maybe you said something that concerned her?

Post # 5
Member
7908 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

@wederly:  I’m going to assume from my own experience with toxic friends that there is a history of abuse here and that this is just the last straw pushing OP over the end. Both of the things that set me over with two former friends were minor in and of themselves, but taken with the years of really suckiness, it was too much.

Post # 7
Member
2623 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Is it always about your SO, or about everything in general. If SO is the only topic that this occurs with its probably worth having a conversation about it with her and letting her know that you realize she doesnt approve of the relationship, but would like her support nonetheless.

Post # 8
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I had a similar situation. I had a best friend of 10+ years. We would always share our honest opinions/vents with eachother in confidence. Once I starded dating my fiance, she would pry to find out info, get me to vent, and I would..it felt natural. But I always felt bad because I have more respect for him than that. She was used to always bashing her husband when we had “girl talk” but I had to drop her because I didn’t want to become a negative gossip and I already had being friends with her. It was hard cause I absolutely could relate with her, but in a toxic way that I didn’t like how she brought out in me.

Post # 11
Member
2117 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Based on what you posted earlier about your SO, I tend to agree with her about leaving him :

Post # 12
Member
731 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

This happened to two of my best friends, C and N.

C’s boyfriend got drunk and kissed N. N went to C and told her to break up with him NOW. C loved her boyfriend, she was torn up–just gutted–but she decided to forgive him. N hated that, and lost all respect for C. They tried to still be friends, but it blew up in their faces one day. They both said horrendous things to each other and now N hates C’s guts. To quote her… “If I ever see C again, I will claw her eyes out.”

Don’t let this happen to you! Let it fade naturally, girl. I personally understand how much it SUCKS to have people judge your relationship when they know absolutely nothing about it. You could try talking to her about it calmly and see if things change (you may have to be patient if you want to hang onto her). Like tell her you agree with her, and you’re mad at your SO too, but you honestly believe it can be worked out and want to stay with him… that is, if you evaluate things thoroughly and DO want to stay with him. If things don’t change on your friend’s part… don’t worry, you may be better off without her.

Post # 13
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Thorpewood

I would also just let it fade away.  I’m a pro with toxic friendships.  Letting them fade away is the best option in my opinion.

Post # 14
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@dcgirl19:  actually it was really hard. I was soft about it tried to let it dwindle away but that just made her crazy obsessed with why. I ended up having to block her on fb and block her number! It all depends on your relationship with her. Is it one that you could see fading away? Is she a busy girl with other friends? Or will she be like “wth, why are you ignoring me?” If it’s the latter I would tell her straight. Don’t beat around the bush “I’m busy” etc. You should tell her something along the lines of- unfortunately, ever time I hang with you I end up with regrets. It’s not just you, it’s the two of us together that’s not working out. I’m trying to build a life and embrace things that bring out the best in me. Or something?? Ha, I’m bad at this stuff, but really theres no nice way to break up with someone, expect for her to be pissed possibly. ust don’t retract your statement to make her feel better, just end wish something like “I wish you the best, bye”

Post # 16
Member
7908 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

@inky_1:  and @axeyourmakeupkit:  Even if her friend is right about the SO, a non-toxic friend can have that conversation with you without making you feel like shit.

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