Post # 1
My fiance Michael and I have been talking about marriage for awhile now. To give you an idea, we’ve been together for a little over 3 1/2 years, and we discussed the possibility only 2 months after we started dating. We agreed 22 seemed like a reasonable age, since we would both likely be done with college by then. However, things don’t always go as planned of course, and we now have 2 beautiful kids but have yet to tie the knot.
Michael has mentioned running to the courthouse several times, only now, he seems more serious than ever. There’s no question I want to marry him and am anxious to be a Mrs. Still, I’ve always pictured a ceremony with friends and family and decorations, a nice venue, and the works!
Really, it doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Some place inexpensive is fine with maybe 20 people or so. I would just like him in a suit and tie and me in a jaw-dropping ivory dress. Afterwards, we don’t even have to hold a reception. We can go to a restaurant or do something at the house and just have a small cake for the two of us to cut.
Before anyone raises the question, yes, I’ve told him all of this. He is dead set against it though! He only wants to spend money on a marriage certificate…
I can understand where he’s coming from. I mean, like I said, we have 2 kids, so some big extravagent $50,000 wedding isn’t gonna happen, but am I really being unreasonable about this? I just want something more personal than a 10 minute “I do.”
Post # 3
Personally I don’t have a problem with them. We even considered going to the courthouse ourselves and just having a fancy dinner for family at a nearby restaurant. However, my mom got married at the courthouse for her 1st marriage and she was absolutely against it when I mentioned that we might do it that way. She said something like, “you’re going to be walking in to get married, while criminals are sitting around waiting for their court appearances.”
Now, I know they wouldn’t be “real” criminals at this courthouse. It would have been people going in for traffic tickets and small offences – not murderers and such, but it still kind of gave me bad vibes. :-/
Anyway, you can certainly do something more intimate and personal for FAR less than $50,000. What about a small ceremony in a park, your backyard, the beach, etc? Then you can still just have everyone go to dinner at a restaurant.
Post # 4
There are some that I see on wedding blogs that are just absolutely adorable. Just about 10 people that go with them to the ceremony, and about 20-30 that go to the reception (usually at the house or the restaurant). I think there is something quaintly sweet about them, not to mention less stress, less money, and more intimacy.
I think if you want more that just going to the courthouse, though, I would say your Fiance should really try opening up to the idea. Otherwise, I think you might end up resenting him. You don’t want to look back at your wedding day that way.
Also if you do go this route, see if you have a photographer friend that would be happy shooting for you as a gift or on a small budget… photos really are important. People keep saying that, but it is true.
Post # 5
@adoc86: I totally didn’t even think about the people going in for traffic tickets and such… Now, I really don’t know. That kinda gives me bad vibes too.
I’ve actually emailed a couple of places, and they’re still more than my fiance is willing to spend. Even if I did find somewhere that was within his limits, I don’t know that he’d necessarily be up for it either sadly. When he makes up his mind on something, it’s nearly impossible to sway him otherwise.
Post # 6
@GoldStar: Maybe I’ll have to look into seeing other people’s courthouse weddings. I haven’t done that yet, but it might make me more comfortable with the idea.
Any tips on how to get him to open up to the idea? Lol! I don’t know what to try besides, “Hey, this place is cheap!” I think that’s all that might catch his attention.
Good point on the photography! I definitely want to get someone!!
Post # 7
@Future_MrsReeves: I have seen some super cute courthouse weddings on blogs and such so I wouldn’t let my crazy comment completely throw you off. If you go to google images and just search ‘courthouse weddings’ you’ll see that there are some that are really nicely done.
Post # 8
@adoc86: You didn’t throw me off. It’s just funny I never thought about that. Lol!
Typing in Google now! Thanks!
Post # 9
My parents had a courthouse wedding, my mom had three kids already and needed the money they would have spent on wedding/honeymoon for food/clothes/apartment and their new baby.. me. Maybe he sees different ways to spend that kind of money. I don’t know if you guys finished school? Or are saving for a house? He might think those are better ways to spend money. You should has him why he wants the courthouse wedding.
FWIW Darling Husband & I got married in the courthouse, laws in our state make marriage not legal unless preformed by clergy or clerk of the court. It was so pretty, we didn’t think to take pictures because we had our “wedding” that night. But the flowers were in bloom and there were only five of us there. You should look thru wedding bee, some of the courthouse recaps are really pretty.
Post # 10
I think the best way to convince him is to talk to him, which I’m sure you’ve done, but get him alone one night, and make sure he knows it is a serious conversation… do not have this conversation while he is doing something else… like t.v. or whatnot.
I would then tell him that I felt a small, inexpensive ceremony would be better for you than no ceremony at all. That you have been hoping to have this day for a long time, that you feel so lucky to have someone that you want to share your life with, but you don’t want to miss out on this part of it. I think it can’t hurt to bring up how much nicer it will be for your parents to have even a little ceremony/reception (parents think about their kids weddings, too!), and how it could be good for the kids to see a visual representation of how important their parents relationship was (not sure how solid this one is, but, hey, trying to convince, right?).
Post # 11
We are doing a court house wedding, although the court house is gorgeous! We are having a casual party in our yard afterwards with our closest friends and family members. I’m still getting a dress (something vintage or vintage-inspired, tea length), but our budget is mostly going towards an amazing honeymoon.
Post # 12
Here’s the funny thing. Even if you have your wedding with the suit and tie (which he can still wear) and your jaw dropping ivory dress, the ceremony itself won’t be much more than a 10 minute “I do.” You just won’t have all the extra fluff (readings, a million people walking down an aisle, etc.).
You’re young and you have 2 kids. I’m with Michael on this one. There are much better, more important things to spend thousands of dollars on. Go for it!