How do you feel about "monetary gifts appreciated" ?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How do you feel about an invite saying "monetary gifts appreciated" on it?
    Pissed - Its totally rude - You choose not to attend because of this : (49 votes)
    16 %
    Irritated - Its rude - You attend and give an item of your choice : (89 votes)
    30 %
    Miffed - Its rude - You give money anyway : (78 votes)
    26 %
    Don't care - Give an item of your choice : (7 votes)
    2 %
    Don't care - Give money : (31 votes)
    10 %
    Happy - Give money and are relieved you don't have to shop : (40 votes)
    13 %
    Other - Explain : (7 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @Stephville:  I wouldn’t attend. Perhaps I would send a book on how to treat people as a gift.

    Post # 4
    3199 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @Stephville:  its really rude and tacky. my reaction would at  least be miffed, but my attendance depends on who it is. if its my best friend or my sister, i would still attend and give cash, but if its a friend i’m not as close with i’d probably not attend.

    Post # 5
    22122 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Cash gifts are one thing for a wedding and something else entirely for a bridal shower (in my opinion). I’d probably be too uncomfortable to attend and would send a card to the bride telling her I was sorry I had to miss her shower and wishing her the best.

    Post # 6
    2576 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @Stephville:  I know that a lot of old-fashioned etiquette has gone out the window, but I think the majority can still say to this day that asking for money on invites is just really poor form. Also, wth? Isn’t a bridal shower an event for boxed gifts anyway, hence a registry is key? I thought weddings were where you gave cash?

    Post # 7
    3735 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @Stephville:  That would irritate me. Depending upon how close I was with the person would dictate my attendence or not. Just dumb. I don’t get “money showers” and the only time I was invited to one I declined.

    Post # 8
    839 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @TwoStatesBride:  +1. My  attendance would ultimately depend on my relationship with the bride.

    What’s the point of a cash only shower, exactly? Are guests going to sit around and watch the bride count her money? 

    Post # 9
    6446 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @MrsPanda99:  +1

    I would not be attending that shower.

    Post # 10
    3199 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @ImmaBee:  yeah that’s my other concern, for sure. if you’re going to ask for monetary gifts at a shower, you shouldn’t be having a shower. you can have an engagement party and not ask for gifts, though.

    Post # 11
    3635 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    If it were a close family member I’d call them up and tell them how rude it was. If not, I wouldn’t go.  What – I’m supposed to shower you with $1 bills?  No.

    Post # 13
    6273 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2014

    This reminds me of the wedding I attended, where someone gifted the bride an etiquette book.

    I would go, but I would bring either a nice set of towels or a nice stock pot or something, or some picture frames. What’s the point of even having a shower, when all you’re going to get is cash? What is she going to do, sit around opening the cards and announcing, “Aunt Martha gave us $50! Grandma Lois gave us $200! EffieTrinket OBVIOUSLY DID NOT READ THE INVITE and gave us this uglyass flowerpot shaped like a dolphin.”


    Post # 14
    6948 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @Stephville:  Rubs me the wrong way. When I read that I think “No shit. Everybody loves money, McGreederson.”

    Post # 15
    2889 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    rude! unless it was a very close friend/family member, i probably wouldn’t go since gifts are kinda the point of the shower. my brother and his fiancee don’t want to register for their wedding, but i think she’s still expecting/hoping to have a shower. we don’t know how to tell her that if she doesn’t register, then having a shower wouldn’t be appropriate.

    Post # 16
    3596 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Cash gifts esp for a wedding showe is no good. If a person doesn’t need gifts don’t have a shower easy!!

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