(Closed) How do you feel about “not working”

posted 8 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
494 posts
Helper bee

I am not yet, but I will be. I am trying to wait until the wedding is over because I feel bad that a huge chunck of his money is going to the wedding. I like to feel like I am contributing in some way. Not that I can say if I will make it that long! My job is sooooo boring that I cant stand even going into it. I am going to school starting in August for my new career so hopefully that will take off before I get so fed up that I just quit. lol. I say more power to you. If you guys can do then I defenetly would. In the long run, it will be best for both of you to have a career that you love rather than one you have to do.

Post # 4
Hostess
4935 posts
Honey bee

I’m basically doing exactly opposite. Mr.TKE is unemployed and I work 2 jobs to support us. I complain about working too much a lot. But really, I wouldn’t have it any other way πŸ™‚ I’d be bored outta my mind if I didn’t work all the time (like I am now ha)

Post # 5
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I quit my horrible job to be unemployed till I found something I loved. It actually didn’t take long for me to find a new job. The job I found, I have summers off and I still have reservations about not contributing, but my fi likes that I have vacation time and get to relax because I tend to get stressed for working too long/much.

I do the laundry and cleaning, but he usually cooks. I usually keep a good schedule and go to the gym for a morning and evening class, go out with friends or run errands, go to the beach/read a book, pick up around house, etc. Sometimes I do sleep in longer than I should or not do much but sit around the house with my two furbabies. I really enjoy my work/periods of unemployment and don’t regret quitting my horrible job. I have been healthier since I quit and no longer dread going to work…so it was totally worth it to me πŸ˜€ I used to be stressed out and depressed…

Post # 6
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I dont know.  that’s a tough one.  If I had the luxury of quitting my job, I probably would; but I would need to feel productive and contribute to society in some way after I took a 4 month vacation and I dont think keeping house and tending to my man 100 percent of the time would give me that longterm fulfilling feeling.

Be careful too, some men get spoiled by that kind of stuff. They appreciate it in the beginnng and before you know it you’ll get in some wicked messed up fight because you decided to use some powedered mash potato mix instead of squishing the real ones.  You need to find a real constructive way to spoil him, show him you love him while keeping him grounded to reality.

Dont lose sight of yourself along the way either.  Find time for yourself and to do what also satisfies you and makes you happy.

Enjoy not having to punch out your time card anymore. πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
363 posts
Helper bee

I don’t work either.  I had just finished up an extra semester (was taking classes to see if anything else interested me) when I met S.  We dated for a month or two and then he was called back out to work in Louisiana (he pipelines)  We were apart for about 2 weeks before I went to see him and he didn’t want me to leave.  He pretty much said that as long as he has a job there’s no point to me working. That was 3 years ago. There’s really no way I could get a job since we’re on the road about 10 months out of the year and never in the same place for longer than 2 months.  I would feel horrible taking a job and being trained just to leave after a month or two and not even be able to give a 2 week notice.  I’m really hoping that one of these days I’ll be able to work in the office or something…their office guy makes around 3,000 a week so we would be banking!  His boss did mention that the office guy might have to find another job since we’ll be off from October till the end of Feb so I’m hoping they’ll need somebody.  That way we’d work the same hours and I wouldn’t be so effing bored.  One can only do so much cleaning in a 5th wheel lol!   Anyways, I didn’t have any reservations because in the beginning I knew if it didn’t work out I had my degree to fall back on and could always work something out.

Post # 8
Member
2280 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m a writer, so ideally, I’d be “unemployed by choice” and working from home as a not-quite-starving artist. We’ll see how that pans out, haha. Right now I’m still stuck with volunteering my services for free. Interning for writing places, volunteering, etc. It’s a good way to build up my experience and resume as I get started out. Without a full-time job, it’s very easy to take on that kind of work. You can fill unemployment with unofficial work, even while you’re being a domestic goddess. πŸ™‚

Post # 9
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

DH is the one who would like to be a man of leisure and I’m the one who needs to be working outside the home. After a stint of unemployment while we lived overseas I know I’m not very good at it. I’d rather be in a job I hate (which I am) and look for another one (which I also am). DH is much better at managing his time at home and he doesn’t need the same level of social interaction or intellectual challenge that I do. He doesn’t like his job and has enough savings to contribute to the household income so I have encouraged him to just quit and have a break/work on the garden for a while, but so far he’s stubbornly stayed at work. Which is a shame, I’d love to have a house husband πŸ™‚

Post # 10
Member
2344 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I am a kept woman right now, and I can’t say I hate it! I have been job hunting for the past five weeks since we got married and I moved up here for him. I just got a job offer but probably won’t start for another few weeks at least. It was always known to be a temporary situation but DH has been so awesome about supporting me financially and emotionally. I feel like because I don’t have the stress of a job, and his job is very low pressure in the summer, we have a lot of quality time and we can do things we want to do, like cook dinner leisurely, go to movies, etc. Of course, money has been tight and I am already excited about the possibilities that a two-income household will bring. But if he were to have a much larger salary? It sure would be tempting. I do think after a while, I’d get bored and need something to do to get me out of the house, but you can do that without having a full-time job. Still, its important for me to pursue my career and establish some independence since I am fresh out of college. People often say you need to be able to support yourself in case of divorce or death, but its more than that to me — I just want to have my own professional life like my husband, like my friends. But I certainly understand why some might forgo it!

Post # 11
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

well fiance is recovering from knee surgery and finishing college…….he hasnt worked since the surgery and I don’t want him to rush back and hurt it again…. Plus I would rather have him focus on school….so he might go back part time…..

This wont be the job/career he will always have…….

So anyways, he moved into my place, but we didnt tell the apartment place, so I still pay the same amount in rent…..I mostly just pay for his food and occassionally something else(like half of the unexpected towing fee the other day!) and when we go out..

 

so i kinda support my fiance, but i don’t feel bad about it:)

Post # 12
Member
1016 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I would love to stay home – or at least work part time instead of full time.  But I don’t know if it would be practical.  I definitely plan on staying home once we (hopefully) have children but every day, when I drag my butt out of bed, I wish I could stay home, spend time with the puppy, get the house in order, cook some fun stuff, go to the gym, etc…

I just keep playing that lotto!  Laughing

Post # 13
Member
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

FI and I have discussed this before. Not that it’s in the cards for the near future but FI really wants to have a job that pays him enough so that I dont have to work. I think this is more for when we have kids, but I wouldn’t mind it regardless. I would just need to find a class or a hobby because I get bored REALLY easily!

Post # 14
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I stay at home now and I do have a problem with it.  My husband is English and I am American.. I’m basically here in England just visiting for a few months.  I graduated right before I came here and I’m not allowed to work here so my days are spent doing house work, surfing the net, and planning an Etsy business.  Normally I wouldn’t have a problem with being the ‘domesticated goddess’ as I like to joke but I’ve noticed that because my husband works 60+ hours a week and he knows I am here – he has gotten messy.  He doesn’t take his dishes downstairs or his clothes don’t reach the laundry hamper… but he works and supports me now so I guess its a compromise.  He does cook which is nice.. I guess what I’m saying is that day to day I get sick of being the cleaner and having to ask for money or just not having my own source of income but at the end of the day he supports me so I support him.  I just have to remember that .. and it is nice being able to sleep in!

Post # 15
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I wish I could be at home and not have to work. But we can’t afford to keep our houseon just the hubs income. So, I’m stuck at a job I don’t like until a better one comes along.  Hoping that soon I will find a job I enjoy so that I can go back to get my masters and then branch out on my own. Hubs is hoping that will happen too, so he can stay home and be a house husband! Although his line of work he could do side jobs and still make decent money to help with financials and such

Post # 16
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I totally relate to this! I H-A-T-E my current job. I work in a super high stress environment in a 6×6 cubicle, and I also spend my non-work time depressed about that I have to to back there the next day. How awful. I dream about putting in my notice.

My FI is totally behind this. Except for the fact that he’s starting med school in a month, and has 4 years of school ahead of him. Hopefully after he graduates and starts working, and I will be able to stay home. I still plan on being active (I do graphic design on the side—hoping to get some freelance work going), because I think I may go crazy without accomplishing something and having some professional adult interaction.  But overall, I don’t feel guilty about wanting to stay home. I hope to be able to give our family a great home.

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