Post # 1
Hi Everyone, just wondering how everyone feels about selective reduction (selectively choosing the abortion of one or more babies in a multiple pregnancy).
First, I want to say that I’m not going to pass judgement, simply because a medical condition means I have one little girl I am very grateful for, but cannot have more children, multiple or single.
I was watching one of those repeat shows. The Mother had decided to selectively reduce her naturally conceived triplets. I guess she annoyed me a bit because she was a real arrogant bitch and was going on about Lifestyle and how she didn’t want to ruin her figure. Maybe if she had of spoken about bigger issues surrounding multiple birth, I wouldn’t have felt that way.
How does everyone feel? Me, it’s hard to say, I have never been in that situation. I guess the financial impact would be a bit daunting. But, I had always said I would struggle to keep a child with a known disability, I found out at 22 weeks and didn’t have a doubt in my mind of keeping her in this world. She is now seven and completely perfect (I dint mean misdiagnosis,just she is perfect)
Post # 2
I can’t judge anyone. For me I probably would terminate for a known disability.
It’s difficult dicission for multiples. You’re at a higher risk to loose all three in a miscarriage and they will most likely be premature. Hope I never have to make these choices.
Post # 3
I’ve fortunately never been in that situation but I can totally understand why some families would select that option. Planning a family (should) take a lot of thought and other things into account. If you have set aside the time, room, and budget for one child and you unexpectedly end up with 3 it’s not a good situation for the parents, existing siblings, or babies at all. That’s way too much to juggle if you’re not prepared for it.
Post # 4
if you need an answer, i’m not a supporter of it.
Post # 5
I’m totally against abortion in all cases, so….not a fan. If you get triplets, you get triplets (in the unlikely event they all make it term anyway). Adoption is always available if it’s too much to handle.
However, since the majority of multiple pregnancies come from fertility treatments, I think it is extremely irresponsible to go into something that could cause multiples without being okay with that. But, then again, I also think most of the ART fertility treatments are very problematic so it’s pretty black and white for me.
Post # 6
I actually didn’t know about this until now.
The reasons the woman you mentioned listed are definitely eyeroll inducing, and I’d like to think I’d never make that decision myself. Hopefully, and most likely, will never have to. So I could say I’m personally against it, but I guess that’d depend on the situation.
Post # 7
sandy85: People’s reproductive decisions are none of my business. I’m about as pro-choice as one can get. Any reason a woman has for not wanting children, or not wanting more than a certain number of children, are valid – this includes wanting to keep one’s figure and one’s lifestyle (these are some of the reasons I’m childfree by choice). Everyone has different priorities in life. Diff’rent strokes for diff’rent folks, and all.
Post # 8
I’m not one to judge. If that’s her decision, then fine. I’ve neven been in the situation so it’s hard to say what I would do. If I were pregnant with triplets I probably wouldn’t, but if it was like 6 or 7… I might consider it. But people who choose fertility treatments know that having multiples is a risk, so they should be prepared for that possibility.
Post # 9
I don’t think I’ll have kids, if I found out I was pregnant today, I would abort.
If I changed my mind about wanting kids, I would selectively reduce triplets. Probably not twins, although that would depend on my health.
Post # 10
Personally, if we were to have multiples we would make it work. That said, I would be incrediably stressed if it happened. We can afford one right now, and that is a bit of stretch. Two would be a bit of a bind.
I can’t say I would support someone who did that, but I could understand why.
Post # 11
sandy85: I don’t think it’s an issue where you can simply say you are “for” or “against.” There are so many factors and medical issues (how many embryos are there? sets of twins sharing a sac/placenta?) Also the health of the mom- high blood pressure, blood clots, etc. You would need to consult with your doctor and your husband to make the right decision for you. I think that if I were to ever undergo IVF I would only transfer one or two embryos. However, if you have had unsuccessful rounds in the past I can see why you would choose to transfer multiple embryos to try to ensure success. Also, you could transfer two embryos, they could both split, and you could end up with quadruplets- and I would never judge someone choosing to selectively reduce in that situation. After experiencing a healthy singleton pregnancy and taking care of one easy(ish) baby (he’s three months old) I can’t imagine carrying four babies (which is very high risk pregnancy) and then caring for them all- especially if you had an unsupportive partner, couldn’t afford it, had shitty health insurance (time in the NICU isn’t cheap), and so on.
Post # 12
Impossible to say until you’re in that situation and being advised by doctors as to your (and the babies’) particular risks, etc. All I know is, selective reduction would be my absolute last resort.
Post # 13
SexyCatLady: Even though you are obviously a cat person and I am all about the doggies every time I see something you’ve written I like you more and more (in a non-stalker-y way)! My sentiments exactly.
Post # 14
I’m for people making their own decisions about how to manage their health, their bodies, and their family. Period.
Post # 15
blondie_ems: Awww, thanks! The dogs in your profile pic are adorable, by the way – the little guy looks like my neighbor’s that I babysit!