Post # 1
What is take on speeches at a wedding? I know the bestmen are making a speech together but my sister MOH and my best friend, also a MOH, don’t know if they will be making a speech.
I won’t be upset if they don’t. I know a lot of people don’t like talking in front of a large group, but I have to admit, I would be a little sad.
How would you feel? I think I am just being over sensitive
Post # 3
I think it doesn’t really matter who, I like when anyone who is well-spoken, succinct, and thoughtful says nice words about the couple! 2 minutes max – maybe no more than 4 people. My husband and I gave quick toasts to our guests and our parents, then both of our dads gave speeches. It was lovely.
I did attend a smallish (50 people) wedding in which nearly all the friends of the bride and group gave spontaneous (tipsy) speeches before they cut the cake- it was like 15 people! But it was funny and intimate and the perfect thing for that wedding.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t worry about it. Honestly, most people hate the speeches part of a wedding – it tends to go on forever, and unless they know the couple REALLY WELL, a lot of people tend to lose interest pretty quickly.
Post # 5
@remijp: oh yes, i agree 100% about the timing- I don’t want long speeches but something short and sweet you know?
ANd i went to a wedding where a lot of people gave speeches and it took up an hour of the wedding! the bride and groom were pissed. I don’t want that lol
Post # 6
@StephieBee: you are right, I think I am a little upset over it just because my sister and best friend haven’t really been there for me throughout this process. My friend did plan an awesome bachelorette party, but other than that, she kinda just brushed me off when i asked her if she was available to come with me somewhere, same with my sister–it was like everything was a hassle. I tried to make things as easy as possible for everyone but they made me feel like I was a pain?
But I do understand that speeches can be boring
Post # 7
@Daizy914: Well, if they seem like they’re not too interested in being involved, then perhaps it’s better they don’t do speeches. You don’t want them to just speak for the sake of it, but instead speak because they really want to share their feelings with everyone.
Post # 8
My MOH and FI’s best man are giving speeches. I suspect my MOH’s will be short and sweet because she doesn’t like public speaking and his best man is courteous of things like that. My father wants to give a speech but he also hates speaking in public so I think his will also be short. The only other person who may want to give one is my FFIL, and that’s fine. My DJ specifically asked if we wanted to have an “open mic” for more speeches and that was a big fat NO. Too many speeches gets way too boring
Post # 9
Personally I love speeches they are my favourite part of any wedding regardless of how well I know the couple. You get to hear cute stories and hear about the couples love. I just love them! OP it seems like you want your MOH’s to make a speech so why don’t you just ask them? Just say hey, the best men are doing a toast to the groom so I was wondering if you two would make a toast to the bride. Nothing wrong with asking.
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rosehill Community Center
We did speeches during dinner, so people could focus on eating if they got bored. But we like speeches, and my dad, MOH, best man, and both our brothers all gave speeches, and they were some of the most heartwarming and amazing speeches ever (not that I’m biased!). Like, I keep thinking back to them and am just so amazed by the sweet things they all said. So I would be bummed if we didn’t have those speeches, even if there were some minor inside jokes that some people didn’t really get.
As a guest, I love the speeches as well, because I like hearing nice things said about my friend/relative/whatever! As long as they aren’t too long, or crude, or inappropriate in some other way.
I think you should tell them it would mean a lot if they would just say a couple words, it doesn’t have to be long. At my friend’s wedding, the best man was too scared to read his speech, so he made his wife read it. It was so sweet, she broke down while reading it, and it was a really nice way for his words to be heard. So maybe they could write something and have someone else read it if they don’t feel up to it?
Post # 11
My MOH will give a speech, she’s a college english professor/student (at the same time!) now so it’ll be well-thought out and elegant.
Our Best Man will give a speech and will no doubt mention the time I gave myself a concussion by head-butting my fiance.
So yes, I am somewhat dreading the speeches but that is totally out of my control!
All I can do about it is laugh. 🙂
I’d rather someone skip the speech than do it if it makes them uncomfortable, especially since a wedding can already be a high-pressure day.
Post # 12
I wanted absolutely no speeches at my wedding. My dad and grandfather insisted that my grandfather say grace before the meal — which I only went along with because it was my grandfather, and he’s 94, and it was funny and short — and then my husband’s older brother gave a speech. I was annoyed because no one told me he was going to.
Post # 13
i would hate giving a speech, id ratehr not be in the wedding party if its required
as a guest, i hate it when a million different people speak (and when they’re looooooong). maximum 3 people (at a push 4 but seriously, no more), max 5 mins each or its just tedious for the guests
Post # 14
@Daizy914: My sister/MOH has a TERRIBLE phobia about talking about her feelings.
So she wrote a speech, but only ended up comfortable enough to get through the first paragraph. The second she got emotional, she had to stop.
I was very happy she tried, without pushing her comfort level too far. Her speech was my sacond favorite of the four we had!
Post # 15
@PuntaCanaBride: i did ask them and they would rather not make a speech. my sister said she is too nervous and my MOH straight out said I’d rather not make a speech, i hate them.
Post # 16
So far as speeches are concerned, I’m a great believer in less being more! Especially if that part of the wedding turns into open mic night.