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I was reading online that the average wedding in 2012 costs a whopping $26,000. Maybe I just never payed much attention to weddings before but, as a college student, that seems like such a crazy amount of money. One of the reason my boyfriend of 4 years and I haven't officially changed our status to "engaged" is that with the money we're spending on school, car payments and rent..where in the world would we get $26,000! The money is sadly the biggest thing holding us back. It, in a weird way, scares me that I might have to settle or wait forever to have a wedding.
Does the expense bother any of you young brides as well? Or older ones too!
@jwinnings: Aw, not all weddings cost that much! My wedding is costing me about 11000 dollars (much higher than I had thought by the way) and I'm a college student, my FI is a beginning electrician, so we're not making that much. I managed to scrounge up 10,000 in almost two years. It's possible to have a wedding, you may just have to cut some things. Like, most people don't need dancers, performers, or that chocolate fountain ;)
It also depends on where you live, what you want, what you are willing to forgo. I am extremely lucky that my parents have offered to help. Or we'd be going to a JOP.
Don't forget that just because that's the average wedding cost, that doesn't mean it's the average for people right out of college. And that also doesn't mean that to have a beautiful, special wedding, you have to spend that much.
I was really lucky in that my parents very generously and lovingly gifted me a beautiful wedding. If my husband and I had paid for it ourselves, it would have been a different kind of affair -- still lovely and meaningful, but very much toned down in size and expense.
I personally don't think I could spend $26,000 on a wedding even I weren't a poor college student. A huge fancy wedding just isn't one of my priorities, I just want something nice to celebrate with my family. Our wedding is coming to about $9000 total. FI and I are paying about a third of it, our parents are helping with the rest. Okay, I'll be honest, I might have to dig into my student loans to buy the wedding rings, but the rest will be covered with the education tax returns I'll be getting. And if our parents weren't helping, we probably just would've done a very small ceremony and not have booked photographers that eat up about 40% of our budget, lol.
@Miss.Sunflower: When you say you managed to scrounge up $10k... is that with school already paid for? I've got quite a few student loans that in reality, if I could come up with $10k right now I'd STILL be way in debt so it wouldn't help toward the wedding... I'm just curious if you're figuring that with or without student loans in the picture.
I think its cray cray. At least for us lol
We're budgeting around $12000 and even thats a lot to spend on one day for us! I'm planning on coming in under that and so far so good.
You have to remember that that number reflects those millionaire children and movie stars who spend hundreds of thousands on their weddings so I would assume it would skew the results to be higher.
I found the average a little daunting, too, at first. And, when I started looking at vendors, I saw how easily a wedding could add up to that and more! We're keeping ours around $8000, including the rehearsal dinner & rings, without really forgoing anything that we wanted, so spending $20K+ on a wedding is definitely not necessary.
I have heard that stat before, too, and I sincerely hope when all is said and done we are nowhere close to that!
I am hoping ours comes out a tad under $10 grand. I dont like spending that much, but I dont want to go over that!
Don't forget, averages take crazy outliers into account. Like a 100,000 wedding is counted the same as a 2,000 wedding, though guess which one makes the "average" cost crazy high? Averages are not necesarily the most common amount the majority of people will spend.
It's crazy. I'm 23 and our wedding cost much more than that. We paid for 50% of it. Honestly, we saved a lot each month and cut back other expenses. The money was very stressful but the security of having it was a great feeling. I'd see the cost of our chair covers and panic at first, but then I'd look at our wedding fund and feel good knowing we have it and that we saved for it.
It was worth every penny
I see wedding budgets like I see any other budget: clothes, home decor, etc.
Don't know if you have seen the show on HGTV called the "High/Low Project" but the designer takes a space creates it with all the top notch furniture, rugs, lighting, and decor & then re-creates the space on very low budgets and the rooms look SO similar. This is how I see weddings. Just because a budget is low or high, a similar look and feel can be achieved. It's all about planning, practice, and being creative.
It depends on where you are, too. 26k is probably the national average? The average cost for a wedding in a smaller town vs a large city is probably pretty different.
@galloway111: I'm going to a community college right now. I haven't had to take out school loans, but don't have any sort of financial aid at all these past three years (it's been really difficult to even try to get it here). But I saved up the money myself, and my fiancee is saving on his end, too, but that is for when we are living together and I like to have money in the savings account. =] So yeah, from every pay check I would chisel away money until I got enough to pay off the venue, photographer, band...etc.
It really depends on where you live, and what aspects of the wedding are most important. We're getting married in October and I'm in the beginning of my planning. I never realized how much everything would cost. I had originally wanted a photobooth but after seeing that they are like $800 that is something that we will do without. My fiance and I are on a budget of $7000 and thankfully my aunt/godmother offered to pay for my wedding dress. My parents are helping some, but the bulk of the wedding will be paid for by my fiance.
You have to decide what your priorities are. What do you want for your wedding and what do you want for your life in general? If having a 400 guest, black-tie wedding is more important than say a year of grad school or a car, great! If you'd rather have a down payment, scale back on the wedding by only incorpor ating the most crucial elements. It sucks if you can't have it all, but you want to create a solid financial future for your marriage.
I think it's super expensive, but having been out of college for 4 years has allowed me to save... I'd rather not spend that much, but I am prepared to for a special once in a lifetime event!
In the end, we will have spent just under $15k for everything--including our rings and honeymoon, and my engagement ring!! (I wanted a say in my ring cost since even before we got engaged I handled the finances.) And we are having what is our "dream" wedding. It is evenly split, with half going to our honeymoon and half going to our wedding, less the rings. And we are in the city.
I cannot imagine spending almost double that just for the wedding. And we make okay money (not great, but okay). Even the $15k makes me choke a little!!!!!
Your wedding doesn’t have to cost $26k. You can have an amazing celebration on any budget. There are girls on here who pulled off lavish affairs for under $10k. You just have to do your homework, research your ass off and get creative. You’ll have to put a bit more work into having a lower budget event since you won’t be paying top dollar to have everything provided for you but if you ask me, I think that’s half the fun.
We had an amazing wedding for less than $15k. It took a year and a half of heavy planning and countless DIY’s but I wouldn’t change a thing. Don’t let the “average” scare you. I actually don’t know anyone who’s spent the “average” on their wedding. Then again, I’m not in a big city where everything costs an arm and a leg.
I think its a crazy amount to spend on a wedding!
However, I find the "average" cost to be misleading. Averages are easily skewed by a handful of ridiculously high amounts. I looked but couldn't find a median amount spent on weddings. The median would be the most ideal number to look at.
It does really depend on where you live. I'm really jealous of all you Bees that are able to keep the budgets at 10-15k!
I think its a lot! I would believe that to be about the local average. Like redheadem said, it comes down to your priorities. I always said 'black tie big wedding' now I'm leaning more towards 'small & classy' and I know it will be much cheaper than the average.
ETA: I'm also planning ahead now! I'm hosting a bridal shower and making the centerpieces. Guess where those will be seen in a couple years?? Yup those cup cake stands will be re-re-cycled into my centerpieces someday!
I think for my area it's pretty normal. I spent months trying to figure out a way to make it less expensive but the biggest cost is the reception food and alcohol which was not going to budge much. The per person cost here starts at $100 and that doesn't even include gratuities or taxes. We could have found some cheaper options but in the end the $ saved would not have made that big of a difference.
I can't imagine spending that much or a wedding in general or one in my area. We are probably spending about $7000. In the area I am planning this is totally do-able. Like a lot of people here I would rather put most of the $26,000 (If I had it) toward paying back student loans or a on a house down payment.
I suppose the cost somewhat bothers me, but I think its the result of the Wedding Industrial Complex ("WIC") telling us we need chiavari chairs and designer dresses and shoes. I'm a little guilty to say I've given in to the WIC by getting some of the fancier items.We're looking at around $50K for 140 guests, not including honeymoon or rings. This is LA so things are pricey here.
That being said, I'm lucky enough to have parents that are willing to help out with a significant amount of the cost. Also, the FI and I are in our late 20s and saved up a substantial amount to come up with the other part. This account is segregated from our buying a home fund so we won't be tapping in to that either.
I think what it comes down to is people should pay for what they want which is within their means. I think its crazy that people would even consider going in to debt for the "Wedding of their dreams".
Yes, you only get married once, but really if you can't afford it, scale back. You can still have a tastesful affair if you pay attention to the details.
Our wedding is hovering around the $25k mark and I have zero regrets. It's going to be a gorgeous event (if I was a dreamer type I'd call this my 'dream wedding') and we're very excited. Could we have done it for less? Sure. Every choice we've made could've cost less from the dress to the food to the venue to the details. But this is the decision we made and it's going to be lovely.
But to say the AVERAGE cost of weddings is $XX,XXX isn't correct - they should say what the majority of people who are actually getting married are spending, or the median. I bet the majority of people are spending 10-12k, so lets take two of them and add mine in. 10+12+25 = average of $15,700. Even though 2/3 of us are spending less, my wedding is throwing it off and making it seem much higher. Which isn't fair- the majority is spending far less, and the weird one (me) is throwing off the average.
Here's an article that might better explain - I haven't had my coffee yet. http://www.intimateweddings.com/blog/the-28704-myth-the-%E2%80%98average%E2%80%99-cost-of-a-wedding-is-not-what-you-think-it-is/
That average is a little scary but you have to take certain aspects into consideration.
First, that number changes wildly based on the location - Here in NYC that price would be considered quite low. Second, you have to take into consideration your own finances - as many PPs have said, being straight out of college and having loans and whatnot does not allow for that much dough to accumulate (and if it does, it sure won't be spent on ONE day).On the other hand, if you are a successful professional and don't have any loans/kids/mortgages or other responsibilities, then you will invest the majority of your income on that one day...(I wouldn't, but that's just me).
It's all relative. You don't need to go into dept to have a memorable wedding. The best weddings are the ones that come from the heart, not from the pockets.
The last wedding I attended was in 2010 and it cost 50K (just for the bride's parents, I am not counting the few thousand the groom's parents put in). I was astonished when I found out. I thought these people must be made of money!..As it turns out, these people had taken a second mortgage out on their house. I mean...that just makes me feel bad but at same time, it makes me wonder how people think???
Long story short - that day is to celebrate two people's love, so make it fun and save your money for a kick-ass honey moon.
Happy planning.
These numbers don't really bother me, no more than $10K wedding dresses do. I would never be able to spend that much money - mentally, I mean, I couldn't do it even if I had that money sitting in the bank, it would not be an enjoyable experience - but if that's how someone else chooses to spend theirs, power to them. :)
@Miss.Sunflower: Ah, okay. I'm going to a fairly large, expensive school (public though, so at least it's not private school expensive! lol), and while I'm working, it's not much. And FI's spend all his savings on his own schooling. So I'm stuck with student loans.
I think you should spend what you are comfortable with. Make a list of wedding priorities, and give up some things that you don't care about if you need to stay within budget.
It's a crazy amount; that said, it's less than my wedding will be, and this is an encore. The first cost about $25000. This, however, is my Mom's doing, not ours. FI and I wanted a simple, fun, understated celebration; she wanted the big to-do, and well.. that's what's happening. It sucks, though, because that made the things we are paying for more expensive too, because now the flowers and dress and mens ware, etc., has to match the formality of the venue and reception.
Honestly, I would be PSYCHED to spend $26,000 on our wedding, nevermind $10-15k. Maybe it's the area where I live, maybe it's just what it costs here? Either way, I'm at $35k right now, not including my e-ring or our honeymoon. But for us it's worth it. I really wanted my wedding a certain way and while I'm DIY-ing a million things and using "friendors" the biggest cost for us was still our big ticket items venue, photography, ect. Those items alone put us over $20k.
I would start looking at vendors and pricing things out immediately! I did before we were engaged so we didn't have any shocks to the wallet ! =)
but yeah, we are just above $26k so that seems about right..... its the guest list that kills you !!! we could do half the cost with half the guests !
@mrs_g.mck: Agreed. I would be thrilled to get everything for $26,000.00. There was no vendor around here that could seat my amount of guests for less than $20,000.00 in Philadelphia.
Add in my dress, which I got 75% off of because it was a sample, invitations ($900), officiant ($800) and ketubah+marriage certificate ($280), and I'm already way over, and that's not including flowers, gifts, or photography.
I think you can do a wedding on any budget, you just may have to keep it out of the city and pretty small with lots of DIY.
It sounds about right. I think I ended up somewhere around 21 or 22k. But I could have easily hit 26k if I had spent more "normally" in a few areas like 2k on a dress instead of 250, or 500 on invitations instead of 50, and 200 on shoes instead of 30. Over half went to my reception to for food and drink for 140 people. then probably a third on photographer and DJ. The rest of the stuff was super inexpensive.
One thing to keep in mind that averages are skewed by those who spend a *lot* on their wedding.
Personally, the thought of spending that kind of money on one day is painful and insane. We're both PhD students raising a child, and neither of our families has a lot of money (nor do we want them paying for something like this). We decided it was unrealistic and not acceptable for us to spend that kind of money, so we're eloping to NYC on a budget of about 1500-2000$, most of which will be accommodation costs. We'll have parties afterward with family, at home. It's not for everyone, but it's perfect for us.
Make a list with your SO of your priorities for your wedding and go from there. It was important for us to do something that was personal and would let us be married without a lot of fuss - and we'd wanted to go to NYC with our daughter, anyway!
Just to add though, if someone has the money and wants to spend it that way, it's none of my business and I don't judge anyone who choses to spend a lot of money on their wedding. I couldn't do it, even if I had that kind of money, but it's totally a matter of preference and what makes the couple happy. I don't personally think a wedding is worth going into debt though.
Like others, I wouldn't spend 26k on a wedding even if I had the money (unless I lived in NY or something, where money doesn't go very far anyway. Hard to say in that case.)
Our wedding is really our dream wedding, and I wouldn't change much about it even if I had unlimited funds. What I would do though is pay for everyone's hotels (about $2500), all meals for the weekend ($1200) and I guess pay for someone to make my dream gown instead of doing it myself ($3k?). So that would add about $7k to our wedding which would more than double it, bringing the total to 13k.
That leaves me another 13k still. I'd probably spend 2k of that on beautiful moissanite wedding bands, 1k on a jazz or bluegrass band to play at the wedding, then drop the final 10k on an AMAZING honeymoon.
: ) Ahh, that would be fun.
I think that's crazy, crazy high. That's like a nice new car. But I guess a lot of people make way more than that in a year, and have parents who have been saving for this and contribute. And it's probably skewed higher by the multi-million dollar weddings that a few people have. Don't let that number hold you back though! I have seen time and time again on the bee that you can have and absolutely lovely perfect wedding for way less than that. Just figure out what you want your budget to be, and I guarantee there's a way to make it work (yes, you may have to compromise on some things but it won't be a bad wedding)
I don't think the stats are reflecting people in school or just got out of college with loans. Most of my friends are in their late 20s to early 30s when they got married and everyone spend about the avg. amount of 20-30K for a OK-nice wedding, not crazily fancy, without any major compromises. I guess it also depends on where you live.
It took us a good few years to save up the money for the wedding as we don't want to ask any help from parents (and we are still saving right now) so it takes work and dedications. FI and I have dated for a long long time but we both intend to do this once so we rather waited to save enough money to have a nice wedding since we get to do it once only (hopefully!) :)
If I had $26,000 to comfortably spend on a wedding , I'd do it! Whe you spend money, you employ people. Have your dress made in your country, hire reputable people, and you're giving folks an honest living.
Not that I have 26k. But if you've got it and you want to spend it, don't feel bad about your extravagance. Yeah, you could give 26k to charity, but charity doesn't really employ people. The wedding industry does, and thank goodness SOME industry is growing!
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