Post # 1
I’ve often wondered what is the most common viewpoint among women on the expression “the wife.” I know it varies a lot culturally, but I’d like to hear what all you ladies (and few gentlemen) have to say.
ETA: I’m not asking because I get called that; it’s just because I’m curious.
I personally have an aversion to it because it seems very posessive and old-fashioned, in a sort of uncomfortable way–I can be very old-fashioned, but if I was called that it would totally rub me the wrong way. Despite my being traditional about some things (I want to take my SO’s name when we get married, for example), I am pretty independent and somewhat feminist, which is why I wouldn’t be cool with being called “the wife.” I know some ladies like it though!
I’m not trying to offend anyone with this post; I’m genuinely curious.
So, tell me if you like it or not, and why, please! 🙂
Post # 3
It could be worse, my Dad’s friends often refer to their SO’s as “mommy”-when she won’t let someone do something or “the old lady”.
I’d much prefer “the wife”. hahaha
Post # 4
I completely agree with you that it is possessive and old-fashioned, but that’s actually why I don’t mind it! I flip flop between being traditional and modern when it comes to gender roles, and this is a case where I wouldn’t mind being traditional. It depends on how it’s said though. I can just see FH saying it to brag about the fact that he has a wife, and that’s ok with me 🙂
Post # 5
I’d take “the wife” over “my old lady” or “the woman”.. I mean, I guess I would prefer “MY wife”, but it’s only words.
Post # 6
Not a fan, but I’m also not a fan of “the boy” or “the boyfriend” either. FH will sometimes call me his old lady, but he’s usually joking. Either way, I don’t mind. I can handle the wife, as long as he doesn’t call me mommy.
Post # 7
we aren’t a fan of using titles, we use each other’s 1st name when referring to each other. It’s my DH’s biggest pet peeve (or one of them). If people know the name of your husband/wife, no need to say my husband…when talking about them, just use their damn name!
Post # 8
My fiance refers to me as “The Misses”: As in “let me ask the misses what our plans are that night”. I think it’s cute. Sometimes he called me “The Boss” which I find to be hilarious too. I expect after we are married, he will call me The Wife. Doesn’t bother me one bit!
Post # 9
I don’t mind it. Like others said, it’s better than some of the other ways men can refer to their wives!
Post # 10
@Creiddylad: Doesn’t bother me at all. My FI says it and how can I get offended at something that’s true? I am his wife.
Post # 11
I also don’t like it with the “The” at the beginning. Makes me feel like I’m an object to possess. Totally fine with “My” wife however.
Post # 12
Doesn’t bother me. There is a man on my husband’s crew who refers to his wife as “The wet hole” when he’s talking about her. No joke.
I told my husband he can call me whatever he wants just as long as it isn’t “the wet hole.”
He calls me Wifu.
I call him Husbutt.
Works out great
Post # 13
i don’t think I’ll have a problem with it.
i could see my FH saying, “i have to check with the wife on this one.”
pronouns as long as they are not used with negative connotation are perfectly acceptable to me. there are worse things to be upset about.
Post # 14
I feel fine about it bc I call my fiance The Chad!
Post # 15
It’s my nickname for a bank account to differentiate it from his.
I grew up with my parents coming up with names like this for Christmas presents and they sign cards to each other that way too.
My ILs call each other Ma and Pa though, I find that odd. DH didn’t think so, but he hates it if I jokingly call him Daddy so he’s not going to be using any variation of Mom for me.
Post # 16
Doesn’t bother me at all and I’m very independent. I mean, it’s true. In our family unit, I am the wife and he is the husband. I don’t see it any different as referring to your kids as “the kids.” I don’t get a possissive vibe. But I also occasionally call my parents “the parental units” so there’s that.