(Closed) How do you feel about your FIs ex being in his life?

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

To be honest if you didn’t have trust issues, none of this would bother you. 

One of FIs exes he stopped talking to per my request because she was blatantly causing problems in our relationship. His other exes that he is friends with though I don’t have a problem with because they are friendly, not romantic.

She’s asking for his presence at her father’s funeral, not a weekend getaway in Vegas. I don’t feel there’s anything wrong with that, since I assume he had a relationship with her father as well

Post # 3
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

KatEmmaMarie:  my FIs ex is actually one of my best friends. They have a long, weird history. At first I didn’t like it, but she’s actually amazing. Our older kids are great friends too. We go to each others parties, camping and just chill, and she was a huge support when FIs mom passed. It may be different in our case, because she is happily married herself.

Post # 4
12870 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think it would be nice if he went.  I have an ex of about 6 years as well (we broke up 6 years ago too), and we work at the same company and have gotten in touch about random things here and there as well.  I don’t think it’s a big deal.  Someone that was in his/my life for so long doesn’t just mean nothing just because we broke up (especially on ok terms).  It doesnt’ mean I haven’t moved on to me.  I have certainly moved on and happily married to my husband now.

Post # 5
502 posts
Busy bee

I would feel uncomfortable with a long-term ex using my SO for emotional support, especially if I’d already expressed concern to him. I find it inappropriate. It’s no longer his role to be a pillar of support for her, especially if he had no real relationship with the father. 

Post # 6
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

KatEmmaMarie:  I don’t think you’re being funny by thinking that she doesn’t need to be in his life. They are not together. I’m assuming they don’t have kids,so it should be a done deal. Her calling to say her father died. Although I would feel for her,that’s not our problem. I feel like no woman should be calling my man for consoling. I think it’s a problem. Definately bring it up and I hope it works out for you. 

Post # 8
6666 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Pretty sure she won’t be putting the moves on him at her dad’s funeral.

Post # 9
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

No way should he go.  Your feelings are his first priority.  A card is fine.  Neither my husband nor I speak to our exes out of respect for each other.  

Post # 10
7188 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I wouldn’t be okay with DH’s ex-FI still being involved in his life (and yes, he was previously engaged). That would make me really uncomfortable. I think a card is more than enough.

Post # 11
8677 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I still talk to some of my exes. I don’t know if my husband does — Ultimately, I don’t care.<br /><br />I really don’t think his ex will be hitting on him at her dad’s funeral. If you trust him, then nothing will happen, right? It doesn’t matter if she has moved on or not. If you trust him, nothing will happen, and all it means is that he goes to pay respects to her father (Whether or not they had a super tight relationship doesn’t matter) and the ex gets a little support.

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Post # 12
703 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I have no contact with any of my exs and my FI doesn’t have any contact with his. We prefer it this way.

Post # 13
643 posts
Busy bee

KatEmmaMarie:  We prefer to keep the past in the past. I wouldn’t be comfortable with my partner’s exes reaching out to him for emotional support either. She needs to move on and rely on the people currently in her life. Flowers and a card is more than enough of a gesture. I wouldn’t even think to call my ex – who I dated longer than your partner was with his – for any kind of help, comfort, or support. 

Post # 14
42089 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

To be fair, your FI is not contacting his ex, she is contacting him.  Those are two entirely different situations.

Post # 15
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I doubt the OP is worried about her putting the moves on him at the funeral. LOL. 

If my dad passed away, I wouldn’t be calling my long term ex to tell them about it. I see no reason for it nor would I ask them to attend the funeral. I have my FI and my family as support, no need to add my ex to the mix. 

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