Post # 1
A few girl friends and I were having this discussion just the other night and I would very much like the opinions of you ladies!
Now, the dancing I am referring to mainly is in reference to….hm…for lack of a better word, “bump and grind”. The kind of dancing that usually takes place in a club, after a few drinks, while out on the town with some friends.
When is it or is it ever appropriate for a taken man/woman to dance with another member of their preferred gender? Is it okay to do before an engagement but not after a ring is presented? Is it cool until you’re married, but never after? Or is it never a good idea?
When asked about it, I said that I personally don’t consider it cheating, but would prefer for my man to try to keep his distance from other dancing ladies when he’s out with the boys mostly because it makes me a little uncomfortable.
Share what you think!
Post # 3
I think I would vom if I saw my FI grinding with another woman and dancing in another very intimate/sexual way. I don’t even like to do that with him in public. I would have felt the same when we were ‘just’ dating as well.
Post # 4
The mere IDEA of my husband trying to “bump and grind” makes me laugh…the man is as white as they come and has 2 left feet.
Personally, I went to many parties while i college while he was away and I just didn’t like dancing that close with guys–it made me uncomfortable, more than anything. It’d be one thing if we were all just crammed together but I alway shrugged off the guys who tried to dance specifically with me. They always tried to rub their pecker on me. Gross. I’d rather dance with my girls.
Post # 5
We aren’t comfortable with each other doing that and never have been. But every couple is different, so I think there’s nothing wrong with agreeing to allow each other to do it.
Post # 6
@Vegan: Am right behind u on the *vom* . . . I have no prob with strip clubs or porn, but an actual bump-n-grind with a *real girl*? *jinkies* ./shudder
@ejs: LOL @ trying to b-n-g 🙂
Post # 7
Um yea…I am thinking I would be pretty dang unhappy if I seen the FI grinding on any girl at the bar. That to be is very inappropriate if you are in a relationship. EVER…period. Definitiely a no.
O and @ejs I know exactly what you mean about the hilarious nature of the mental option of my FI doing a little bump and grind hahahahaha
Post # 8
Yea, um, I am by no means a jealous person, but that would not fly. My friend & I were talking about what constitutes as cheating yesterday & we both agreed that it would be if our fiance did something with another woman that he wouldn’t be comfortable doing with her in front of me. And, I would hope he would never feel comfortable bumping & grinding a girl in front of me, at least not without my permission! Luckily, fiance doesn’t dance, so I would never have to worry about it 🙂
Post # 9
NOT cool. It’s way too intimate. That kind of dancing is, anyway. A waltz, swing, foxtrot, who cares? But when pelvises are in contact and the lyrics are encouraging you to disrobe, nuh uh. No way.
Especially since this is kind of how my FI and I met. We’d see it as a thing that we shared, and that shouldn’t be shared with anyone else.
Post # 10
We have never been out to a club to dance like that, not my style of dancing anyway. Doesn’t really seem appropriate to dance like that with anyone different from your partner either.
Post # 11
Uhhh I am going with Never appropriate and I asked my fiance and he said the said thing. This has never been discussed between us it is just understood.
That being said FI met in a club at age 21 and have danced together A LOT! However we have never done the “bump and grind”. I have always found it pretty disgusting, it is like a socially acceptable way of getting a guy off in public. Ewww! I even know a girl who… uh got a strangers bodily fluids all over her pants once in a club. Double Ewwww! (But at the same time hilarious and it has been an inside joke ever since)
Post # 12
Very cool to hear everyones’ opinions. I’m also not a ‘bump n’ grind’ kind of girl, and thankfully, the dude isn’t into the dancing scene, and would probably embarrass himself if he tried to adapt.
Post # 13
I wuoldn’t be comfortable with him dancing like that with another female. I consider it disprectful to me. I would never do that with another guy.
Post # 14
Gees, J better never bump and grind on anyone else but me! Heck, I can’t even get the man to do a simple box step waltz with me… if he’s going out clubbing with other women, we’d be having some serious conversations!
Post # 15
I don’t think it is appropriate at all for a taken man or woman to bump and grind on some one who isn’t their SO. I know that I would probably become very very very upset/angry if I saw it happen or heard it happened. And I know Mr.Bobby would be the same way.
Post # 16
Nope. Not appropriate. Ever!
That said, my husband surprised me before we left for the Dominican Republic… He wanted to address the dancing before we left. We’ve been taking dance lessons for a few years now, so we really enjoy it. And in the Caribbean, they really can dance. So he wanted to know what I’d do if I was invited to dance, letting me know that HE wouldn’t be totally comfortable with that.
I was not expecting that, but I am not interested in dancing with other people anyway, at least not if my husband is there and can dance with me! I’ll only dance with someone else on the *very* rare occasions I’ll go in a salsa club with girlfriends and he’s not there (like, once in three years). He won’t dance with another woman either… So I guess that’s settled!