How do you get bridesmaids excited

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

If you need help, just ask.  But prepared for them to say no.  No one will be as excited about your wedding as your are.  It is your wedding to plan and if you want to DIY that is also up to you, they can help if they want to/are able to but it is certainly not required.

Post # 4
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@jigga143:  This is tricky because one, no one is as excited about your wedding as you (and definitely not to help out), and two, they probably didn’t think they’d be needed to do a bunch of DIY projects. I personally hate DIY projects and as much as I loved my friend I did them, but honestly if I had just been a BM I would have avoided it.

I would have laid out their “expectations”, for lack of a better term, before you asked them. But since that time is gone and passed, I would just approach them and say, “Hey. I really need some help with  some projects and I was wondering if you would be willing to help me out?” Have drinks and maybe some appetizers there as well for them.

Post # 6
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think the invite for the craft night was a fun and cute idea. It’s always good to get the girls together to have some laughs and some wine. Otherwise, you can’t really get them “excited” but there’s nothing wrong with asking for help! It’s true, your wedding def won’t be a priority to other’s the way it is to you but if you want help doing some crafts, or want someone to go with you to an appointment or something, just ask. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to do everything in a fun exciting way each time you ask for their help

Post # 7
Member
1662 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Waldorf Astoria, Chicago

I think you just need to ask them for help, and expect that they might not all be able to help out with everything you need.  I would plan a girls night in for crafts, feed them and supply some wine and put Bridesmaids on for you guys to watch while you get busy with your DIY’s.  You are lucky to have your girls around to ask for help.  My 3 sisters are in AZ, my FSIL is a BM and has a young kid, and my MOH is in IA…so I’m on my own for most things, but I like it that way 🙂 

Post # 8
Member
4163 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

If you’re planning on a lot of DIY craft days, you may want to try to do one outside of the bridal party.  Invite another group of girlfriends over for movie/wine night. Or if it’s one particular project, invite just one or two friends over (one girlfriend helped me plow through the programs in about two hours.) Married friends may also be more receptive, since they’ve been on the other end.

As far as a shower/bachelorette, those wouldn’t happen until probably March, unless you want something destination.

Post # 9
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@jigga143:  like PP said, no one…NO ONE is ever going to be as excited as you and your groom. So you can ask…but prepare yourself that they might say no, this way there is no disappointment.

I didn’t ask my BM for help because whenever I asked them to come with me somewhere they didn’t care to be there.

So I didn’t mind doing everything myself. I didn’t have anything DIY, but it would have been nice to have them over and help me box my favors, assemble my invitations, things like that. But DH was super helpful and I actually am happy that things turned out the way they did because DH and I had fun doing it together and seeings things all come together for our wedding 🙂

Post # 10
Member
1662 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Waldorf Astoria, Chicago

@Daizy914:  I didn’t ask my BM for help because whenever I asked them to come with me somewhere they didn’t care to be there.

That really sums it up!!  I’ve tried to include my BM’s, or invite them to expos etc. It’s true that they don’t care about your wedding anywhere near the amount you do…I always feel bad when they do come b/c you can tell they don’t want to be there, it’s much better to just do it yourself so you don’t have to have hurt feelings!! 

Post # 11
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@kellynn323:  exactly! If you don’t expect anything…then you won’t be disappointed.

I mean in the end, its YOUR wedding, so if something needs to get done, maybe ask a relative or your mom, someone other than the bridal party.

One of my BM’s actually told me something that hurt my feelings and made me realize what type of a friend she is, and she was one of the two MOH’s…we were talking about my sister who was my first MOH and I was upset that she didn’t want to help me (this was early in my planning before I came to my senses and decided its best to do everything myself and with DH) and she said “well no one is excited to be in a wedding”…gee thanks.

I think being a BM is an honor, and if I were ever in a wedding, me being a bride, I would definitely ask if the bride to be needs help, cuz I know how its feels to not have anyone want to help.

Post # 12
Member
1662 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Waldorf Astoria, Chicago

@Daizy914:  That would hurt my feelings too.  I’m still early in planning, but even picking out BM dresses was the most stressful part b/c they all have opinions and voice them!!  No-one cares about what the bride wants, or about your special day.  I’m not sulking, I’m actually obsessed about planning so I’m happy to do it all on my own, I’d even plan my shower and parties to make it easier on the girls, but they are going to do that much for me, lol!!  I think if you realizing this early makes planning less stressful.  Don’t expect too much from others!  Even when friends ask about planning you can tell they don’t want full disclosure on details!! 

Post # 13
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I absolutely love the idea of a bridesmaid craft night! I have so many of these planned in my near future! Make sure you have some wine, or shots and of course a few apps. Or you can cook dinner one night and invite them over for a favorite show and craft time!

Post # 14
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@jigga143:  when my best friend was getting married i was her moh and she called me on so many things form wedding fairs to cake tastings you name it lol 

 

it was fun, i say call them up and make some dates to get together and do stuff maybe go to a wedding fair to break the ice on your dyi’s and then go ohh i am doing something like that i could use my power team to help me 😀 … they will likely want to help u tht is why they are brides maids after all b,c. they love you and want to be part of your big day 

 

so ya i say just call them and dive it in make it fun they wont feel liek your being pushy maybe make some sangria and do the dyi and have a lil party while you do it 

 

this isn’t a wedding thign but for years i use to have a wrap party (we maake cookies and drink rum and egg nog and put on music and wrap our gifts for our families as a group it was fun and it was nice way to have a informal xmas party with your best friends) 

so if you make it fun like that they won’t feel like your pushing or anything at all 

Post # 15
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@soon2bmrsdam:  

Are you really planning “many” of these for your bridesmaids?  As a MOH, I will speak up and say that is too much to ask.  I am sorry, it sounds like a wonderful idea in your mind but having many of these is asking too much of your girls. 

Yes, we are your friends and want to be there to help as bridesmaids, but please tone it down.  Remember there are other responsibilities and costs that come with being a bridesmaid in addition to this.  Just a suggestion to keep your friends past your wedding day. 

Post # 16
Member
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Yeah it’s tough. I don’t really feel like my bridesmaids care about my wedding at all. They don’t really seem into it. It kinda sucks because you want them to share your excitement but I don’t think that ever really happens. No big deal!.. You can always ask for specific things you need help with.

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