Post # 1
I’ve noticed that lately I seem to go through the gamet of emotions each month, including boughts of depression, or at least a down slump. I was wondering if any of the bees have gone through this as well, and if so, how do you deal with it?
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2005 - Westside Loft, New York
i try to force myself to be active and do stuff and socialize. it’s tough because when you’re down, that’s often the last thing you want to do… plus i’m an introvert and don’t really like socializing too much anyway. if you get in the habit of doing "up" things, i think your mood eventually changes.
antidepressants and therapy really helped in a tough period of my life. and exercise has been instrumental. not sure how bad you’re feeling, and if this is a recent thing or a lifelong thing, but i’m happy to share my experiences if you have any questions.
Post # 4
I am sorry you’re experiencing slumps, Caliocteach 🙁 Whenever I am feeling down, it’s usually because I have screwed up at work somehow or gone shopping and spent too much money. Usually what makes me feel better is to counteract the cause of my "slump" by compensating in a related way. For example, if I feel like I turned in less-than-stellar work product, I’ll make sure to work super hard the next day (and make sure my boss sees me working late!), or I’ll go through and make a financial plan to make up for my splurges. Do you know what might be causing you to feel down?
Post # 5
I’m sorry to hear about the bad times as well. Do you know what’s been causing them? My work has been a little rough this week and it’s been bummin me out a little. Today was the worst, so with dinner we had a little bubbly & some creme brulee for dessert. It’s not the best solution, but sometimes the little things in life just help put a little skip in your step.
Post # 6
Aww, Caliocteach. I understand about being down sometimes. Usually my down days are because of work or if I’m feeling slobby and unproductive. I try to get out of the house because a change of scenery usually helps. I’ll take a long walk. Or I’ll try to vent to a close friend. If you feel like sharing, there are a lot of us out here that are good listeners.
Post # 7
I also found exercise a GREAT escape. It makes you feel better mentally AND physically. This one may sound a little weird, but the one I did learn as a psych undergrad was that smiling releases endorphines. Endorphines make you happy. So smile a little! It sounds a little too easy, but walk around your house smiling for a couple minutes and it really starts to pick you up 🙂
Post # 8
Ick I totally know how you feel with the slumps. One thing I do is really to look into the future, look at all the amazing things you have in store for you … every day you get to go home to your husband, you get to have children (if you want to!), buy a house, go on vacation. Realize that today is just another day and though it may be a crappy one, things will get better – you have good things coming to you.
I like the idea of just smiling a little bit more. But at the same time, a good cry might help! Go watch a sad movie and cry it out my friend!
I hope you feel better soon.
(If you don’t have an answer to the "reasons you’re feeling down" I’d defintely think about talking to someone about it – your husband, mom, friend, or a professional, talking things out helps so much.)
Post # 9
Being down is no fun. I want to hide when I feel like that but it never helps. Instead I force myself to exercise, do something silly, read my favorite book again, or drink hot chocolate until I start to come out of it. It eventually works for me.
If you feel it is more than the run of the mill ups and downs of life, make sure you talk to someone about it. I really hope you feel better,
Post # 10
I’ve been going through one of those emotional down slumps lately too. It’s really hard to be positive and optimistic when stress hits and all the problems seem to pile up higher and higher. I’ve been looking for a job since I graduated in May, and I keep getting shot down over and over again. What keeps me going? My fiance. He’s been there for me, and he’s super supportive. Whenever I break down, he’s there to pick me up. I don’t want to think what it would be like if I didn’t have him in my life. He keeps me sane, and it’s important to have that support.
Post # 11
Thanks for all of the great advice! Though I can’t pinpoint exactly what is causing it, I can say that I think it is from being tired and overwhelmed. After work I go to school for my master’s program, and that mixed with being a newlywed and in the process of buying a house is a little overwhelming. I also gained 10lbs over winter break that no matter how much I work out or go running does not seem to want to come off.
I like the idea of smiling more! I’m already excercising regularly and I eat right most of the time. Unfortunatly my husband doesn’t understand why I get like this, so going to him ends up being a q&a session which never makes me feel better, or a "well I don’t see why you’re upset, everything is perfect so stop overreacting." He thinks that a "down slum" means that I am generally not happy; he does not understand that I am very aware that I have no reason to be down and it is temporary. Ugh.
Anyway — thanks for all of the encouragement, it is nice to know I’m not alone.
Post # 12
I have a day or two every month where I’m what I think of as ’emotional.’ Although my husband would probably describe it as depressed or easily upset. Things that normally wouldn’t upset me, or that might normally make me feel a little sentimental or nostalgic, can leave me in tears. I used to be even more upset by how upset I would get, and try really hard to be more ‘up,’ but my yoga teacher gave me what I think was the best advice of all – she told me that it’s completely normal, just like the seasons of the year, and that if I just stopped feeling like there was something wrong with me and concentrated on being good to myself, I would feel better. And I find that’s really true. I find a good book, take a long bath, buy some fun new yarn, cuddle up on the couch with my cats – generally do something just for me.
It’s hard when you’re really, really busy, and especially if you’re a bit of a perfectionist, but I think sometimes we just need some down time. Running at 110% efficiency all the time will wear anyone out, and sometimes that’s what we expect of ourselves. If you’re down for weeks at a time, it’s likely that you need a significant change, or maybe a little extra help (counseling, etc). But you are super busy, and you’ve had a huge life change – maybe you just need to cherish youself a little, and let yourself have a little time to feel whatever you’re feeling.
It is hard if your husband takes it personally, or tries to hard to cheer you up. I’m lucky I think; mine just gives me a big hug and makes some comfort food and tells me that everybody feels sad sometimes, and that he loves me very much.
Post # 13
- Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country
When I get especially busy at work I get very very angry. I am actually OK in my solitude, but if I talk to my husband on the phone sometimes i just sit there and cry. It’s basically a pity party and it’s pretty embarassing. I know this might not work for everyone but sometimes I just take a deep breath and put on a "fake happy face" for a little while, and act really cheery. Eventually… my mood actually improves for real… as if I’ve forgotten that I was so down. I always remind myself that I have so so much good in my life that far outweighs the bad… and that wasting time being negative is exactly that: wasted time. I am lucky to have a consistent, supportive, and happy husband. It’s hard to be upset around him when he is always doing his best to be in a calm and happy mood.
Post # 14
I keep a secret stash of kids coloring books and crayons and markers in a drawer and whenever I am in a bad mood I just go someplace alone and color like a five year old! It sounds so silly but it helps take my mind off of everything else that is going on and brings me back to a happy place. 🙂 I confessed this to my fiance once a long time ago and now whenever he thinks I am in a bad mood he says, ‘I think you need a little coloring time!’
Post # 15
SoonToBe… What a great idea! I love to color; as a high school teacher I’ve always enjoyed it when I have my students do art projects. That is something I may need to look into!
Post # 16
@SoonToBeKGC: I love that idea also! It’s been a rough week, so maybe I need a little coloring time to also take my mind off it!
@caliocteach: You know what I’ve noticed helps, although it may not be feasible for everyone to do, I hang out with kids (K-5). You can’t help but laugh and smile if you hang out with them. No matter what is going on in my life, hanging out with my kids at my work helps to change my frown upside down by the end of the day.