Post # 1
So…apparently, since I finally told my man “Yes,” he has decided he no longer needs to take me out on dates or buy me flowers or write me poems. When we first started dating, he would buy me flowers EVERY weekend, AND bring chocolate. I kept telling him he was setting the bar high and if he couldn’t keep this up, he needed to not do that so often. He just blew me off. Well, now….it’s been 7 months since he took me out…and even then, we only went out becuase I wanted to go to a dinner theatre, and I found one and I worked out the details–he didn’t “take” me out on a date he had planned to make me feel special.
SOOO, what do you other girls do to get your man to take you out and treat you nice? And isn’t it pathetic that I actually have to ask that question?
Maybe I should post this in emotional…????
Post # 3
how do YOU get your man to take you on a date?
when i tell him to 🙂
Post # 4
I guess I dont have this problem… either him or I say “What are we doing this weekend?” We take turns picking restaurants when we hear of a good one, or suggesting something we heard about- a movie we want to see, calling up friends, a groupon we want to do…
He never was good at the random flowers etc, but he is so appreciative of everything I do and we go out all the time so that sort of thing was never something I missed.
Instead of waiting for him to plan or ask, just say what do you want to do this weekend? If he cant come up with something, you pick, then next weekend say OK its your turn.
Post # 5
I just tell him when I want to go out and he takes care of it.
Post # 6
btw, my guy “treats me nice” every day. somedays he picks up chinese on the way home, somedays he phones and asks me if i want anything from the store so i dont have to deal with the hassle. its the little things that says he is thinking of me and cares 🙂
Post # 7
“Lets going out to dinner one day this week!” or he suggests it.. if he starts slumping, I usually just let him know (not in a naggy way, that wont help) that I’m feeling a little unappreciated
Post # 8
I think the issue is not that he doesn’t take you out but it lies that you told him he should tone it down he blew you off and you let the issue go. You shouldn’t have. You should have had a discussion about your expectations, and what his were and how you both intend to meet your expectations or compramise to meet in the middle.
Mine is simple, he enjoys taking me out, becase I take him home… (and well you do, do my thing)
Post # 9
Well I just told him that I want a date night once a week. As well as a separates night. (He goes his way with his friends and I go mine, not cheating, nothing of the sort, just a night to ourselves.)
Post # 10
I tell him if I want to go out and do something, and he tells me if he wants to go out and do something. Not rocket science.
And in terms of “treating you nice”? Lady, that is not negotiable. It’s not about roses and dates – it’s about making you feel loved. If he can’t do that, he’s not just slacking – he’s not worth it.
Post # 11
Men and women are different. They do not know what we want/need. We comminicate very differently.
Tell him what you want in very specific terms-” I want us to have a date night once a week/ every 2 weeks”- whatever works for you.
“I suggest we alternate taking responsibility for planning the date. I will start this weekend.”
Post # 12
@eloping: My thought EXACTLY. Love it.
Post # 13
My Fiance works evenings all week and his off day’s are Sunday and Monday.. so every Monday we have a “date day” whether its sitting around the house together being lazy or go out and do something… other than that either him or I will ask. The smallest things make me happy.. just a text from him while hes at work puts a smile on my face.
Post # 14
My FI will just surprise me and tell me to get ready we are going out and he will bring flowers and chocolates or some other suprise home every other week.We usedc to have date night once a week before we had our son but we dont do that much anymore. But now he will do something thoughtful everyday, something that helps me out or whatever. Even the ‘i love you’ text messages I get after he leaves for work make me feel special.
I think the thing to remember is the door swings both ways. Do you do things to make HIM feel special and do thoughtful things for him?
I also think relationships get to a point where the ‘courting’ (like dates and flowers) stop and the comfort begins. Like the courting is the falling in love part where you both do romantic things everyday but then when your in love you just start a different phase and stop expecting those things. Maybe your just not ‘in tune’ you know. Talk it out…
Post # 15
@Angelique02: Maybe you should just talk to him about it and tell him how you feel. My FI and I understands that what we did to get in this relationship is the same thing we need to do to keep this “relationship”… its a two way street. With that being said, we always try to do things together even if its just sitting back watching a movie, playing cards, etc… Although we go out all the time, we also make it a point to do a “date night” once a month….. we alternate as far as taking turns (one month is his turn, next month is mine)…. and we go all out and its a surprise… so whoever turn it is have figure out what they want to do and plan it out…..
Good luck…. I’m sure once you let him know that you have an issue with it, he will change things up…. Sometimes we have to TELL men what we want even though we feel they SHOULD know, lol…..
Post # 16
I’d talk to him and let him know how you feel.