Post # 1
I wasn’t sure if I should put this in wellness, fitness, or otherwise. I also didn’t want to use my real name, b/c I’m sure my best friend (the person in question) is on here or will be soon.
My best friend and I both did Weight Watchers a few years ago, before my wedding. She lost quite a lot- over 50 lbs, at least. She was really happy about how she looked, and I was happy and proud of her b/c she’s never been one who diets or works out.
Well, she’s since backslid- and thensome. She’s my best friend so obviously I love her and think she’s an amazing person, but I can’t help but look at her photos and think about how she used to talk about her “old” photos with disgust- knowing full well that she’s bigger now than she was in those “old” photos.
She is going to be getting engaged within the year (I know this, she doesn’t) and I know she’s not planning on a long engagement. I just know that if she doesn’t start soon, she won’t loose as much as she will want to, and then she’ll look back on her photos and be disappointed.
So, as her friend, is it my job to give her a wake up call? Do I sit back and say nothing? Or do I try to find some other, discreet way to motivate her?
So, what would The Bee do?
Post # 3
I don’t know if it is really your place to say anything. She obviously knows how much she weighs now, what she weighed then and what she would like to weigh. If she expresses that she wants to loose weight then you can be a encourager. I think your feelings are coming from a good place I just don’t know if that will translate that way to her.
Post # 4
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
Do you need to lose any weight, even just a little? The easiest way to approach this is for you to go to her and tell her you are just dying to lose x lbs but can’t and you remember how much easier it was when you had her support and you did it together and see if she’ll do it again! Then look into some cardio classes you can take together and make dates out of them. Go to a Zumba class and then get salads and a glass of red wine after… stuff like that. Or if she isn’t nearby, maybe you could both sign up for a 5k somewhere in between the two of you 10 or 15 weeks away and both train with a Couch-to-5k program together.
Post # 5
@mrs.stormylove: I agree. OP- while I totally think your heart’s in the right place, your friend knows. She does. And she’s either avoiding it, dealing with something, or just doesn’t want to work on it right now/is fine with it.
If anything, I’d maybe try to involve her in things that you’re doing (going for a walk a few nights a week, ask her to join your softball team, etc) but only because you want to be with her as a friend, not because you’re only goal is to help her lose weight again. She’ll work to make changes when she’s ready to, if she wants to, and you being her friend now will mean that she’ll have a great WW buddy or support system if she decides she wants to lose weight again.
Post # 6
It’s really sweet that you care about her so much, but this is one of those things where you definitely should not say anything. She’s not blind – I’m sure she knows that she’s gained weight.
As you know, losing weight can be really hard and the motivation to do it has to come from within. If she asks for your help, great! If not, I really don’t think it’s a good idea to say anything. Weight and dieting/exercising are very personal, touchy subjects, and I seriously doubt that something a friend says could provide sufficient motivation where internal motivation is lacking.