Post # 1
One of my friends was recently engaged….I absolutely love her ring and ended up with a very similar ring when I got engaged a couple of months ago (round solitaire). This friend was so awkward when I first got my ring. I love my ring but it’s nothing insane….just under 1.5 carats solitaire (which I do think is big, but I have a size 7.5 ring finger so it doesn’t look huge). I’m not sure what size hers is (nor did I ask, it’s gorgeous whatever size it is – I would guess just about 1 carat or a little less?) but when we went to dinner she actually asked me to take off my ring so she could see it up close…
…she then put it on her finger next to hers, literally compared them next to each other, then gave it back to me. Didnt say anything…Awkward. And I’m not talking BFF, good friends but not great. I ignored it, but saw her again last week, and she outright asked how large my ring is…and I’m kind of weird/uncomfortable with questions related to finance…so I told her and thought that would be the end of it…but last night she texted me and asked how much it cost.
What gives? I don’t want to be rude, but how do you respond to that without being rude? I just feel like thats a private thing between me and my fiancé (he thinks she’s crazy). Do I ignore it? Tell her she’s being rude? I guess I could say I don’t know – but I know she’ll ask again (has asked about our rent, cost of venue, etc.)……
Post # 3
tell her you don’t know what it cost, and don’t want to know. simple as that.
if she pushes the issue, you can be rude. it’s none of her business, really.
Post # 4
Sounds like she’s in the market for an upgrade. I would say “Im not sure how much it was, FI bought it for me.” even if you actually do know how much it was.
Post # 5
I don’t mind telling ring details, but once she asks financial questions it’s appropriate to say, “Sorry but it’s none of your business”. Or it you think that’s too blunt, you could say, “That’s between (fiance’s name) and me” or “It’s a secret”.
Post # 6
Yeah, I agree that you should just say you don’t know how much it was. When I’m asked how much my ring was, I usually tend to joke and say “It was a million billion dollars!” or “Husband got it out of a gumball machine, so only 20 cents!”
Post # 7
Yea you guys are right – I’m going to text her back and say that. I kind of want to tell her she’s being a little too nosy but I think that might cause drama…
Post # 8
@Laur12: tell her that you’re not sure and that that doesn’t matter to you. She probably is unhappy with her own things and wants to know so she can feel better about herself. ignore her.
Post # 9
@LadyElva: Lol I love those responses!!
Post # 10
that sounds weird. sounds like she’s sizing you up – trying to draw a comparison between you and FI and her and her FI. it’s petty and unncessary. i would tell her that it’s personal and you can not disclose that information. then i would distance myself from her. seems like she’s worried about all the wrong things.
Post # 11
Wow. Just say you don’t know. Your friend is obviously very insecure! Who cares if they are similar, so many engagement rings are similar! It’s hard to find 12353151 variations on a diamond…
I honestly have no idea how much mine cost and I really don’t want to know either!
Post # 12
I actually had a similar situation and I agree with PPs, just tell her you don’t know how much it was. No need to call her out unless it keeps happening after you say you don’t know. I had a friend who kept saying things about how much bigger my ring was than hers, how much shinier, etc. etc. I do not do well in awkward situations like that, so I usually just changed the subject and/or ignored it. It stopped eventually.
Post # 13
I cant stand “one uppers” i would just ignore her or say “why does something like that matter so much to you”
i have friends like that too. My close friend/one of my bridesmaid and her boyfriend recently got engaged after me and my fiance did. Our wedding isnt till june 2014. They are planning their for this years. I flat out told her i dont want this to be any sort of comparisson contest/ bridewars 2. They are both our wedding and we are both in theirs.
Post # 14
@TaurianDoll: I think you summed it up actually…I shared your response with my FI and he agreed 100%. I do feel like she compares every aspect of our lives and I think the bigger question for me is if I want to continue the friendship…which is a bummer 🙁 we’ve been friends for about 6 years.
Post # 15
@Laur12: I would have never never complied to that request to take off my ring. Who in their right mind asks that? From that start I would have said I don’t know but know that you have I agree with PP’s tell her I don’t know or to mind her own business. You could also tell her the store or steer her to any store but at this point its gone too far. That is just so super rude of her
Post # 16
@Laur12: There’s a saying that says something like “never attibute to malice something that could just as easily be attributed to ignorance.” I think that applies here. Unless you know her to be a petty and jealous person, I would simply assume she’s thinking about upgrading (or possibly even just curious) and doesn’t realize how uncomfortable her questions are. I would not immediately assume she’s jealously judging you. Just tell her you don’t know the cost, or if you want to kind of make a point, say “I would never dream of asking something like that, that’s his business not mine.”