How do you handle having kids at the wedding when you didn't want them?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

*litening in* because I am in the same boat. I don’t want kids at the wedding. He has a ton of kids in his family and wants them. If we invite the kids in his family then I feel like we have to invite all kids and then there will be a ton of kids running around everywhere. 

Post # 4
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

If it’s in your budget and there’s room at your venue, set up babysitting.  That way the parents can bring their kids and be there if anything goes wrong, but they kids won’t have to be at your wedding.

 

I think it’s reasonable to say that only people traveling a far distance can bring kids.  It’s one thing to arrange a sleepover on Saturday night to go to a wedding, but it’s another to arrange for your kids to stay somewhere for several days while you travel internationally.

Post # 5
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@MrsCreeToBe:  you have 2 options this is what I did I was in the same situation:

Either way you will need at least 4 babysitters.

This is what I did for my wedding and what I did for my graduation party that was  ” adult only very classy affaire.

I arranged for 2 trust worthy babysitters the parents who agreed took their children o my brothers house. They had pizza popcorn and watched movies it went great… Parents picked them up next morning.

2. I had 3 baby sitters. A bouncer a tv and little tikes rentals as well as a small kermesse for the kids who attended as well as a children menu and 10 000 snacks. It was areanged as a Pen and it went great. 500usd total but well spend.

You need to adapt also to age and if your wedding is at night or during the day. You have so many kids you should do something similato option 2… For me that what we do at our big events we are just a big family no children is just not possible.

 

Post # 6
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My fiance’s sister insisted on taking their children to the ceremony, I was very upset about the situation until I realized I was more worried about that than other matters related to the wedding, so one day I told her that was okay to have their children on our wedding, she was going to be the only one and that i was sure she will make everything possible to have them quiet during ceremony, FI was also very stressed by this situacion since it was her sister. After i agree about only her kids could be at our wedding the strees has gone.

Post # 7
Member
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

There were 7 kids at my wedding.  One of them fussed briefly during the ceremony, but I barely cared.  To be honest, if they weren’t my nieces and I weren’t super close to them, I wouldn’t have even noticed their presence.  

Just make sure their parents are seated with them at the reception, that they are far away from the cake, that there are games/coloring things, and just carry on.  Kids aren’t that awful. And no one likes wedding cake, anyway, so who cares if something exciting happens??  =)

Post # 8
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

i would only let the ones out of state bring the kids but have a sitter for them at a friend or relatives house or a room at the venue and let the parents know before hand that you would love for them to be at your wedding and to make that happen you will set up baby sitting arragements to make that possible and to also give you the child free wedding you want because between your family and FI family their are just to many children to invite for a wedding and since you love them all you cant pick and choose which children to invite,but yu made baby sitting arragements just for them and you hope they will come share this special day and it will also give them a night out kid free 🙂  

 

i wanted no kids but i did have my 5 neices and nephew in the wedding and told the parents after the ceremony they can have dinner but they have to be picked up after dinner or i rather have no kids in the wedding at all.

i have lots of kids in my family so to avoid the kids topic about them bringing kids in my save the dates i sent out and posted on a website was that its an all adult only wedding that im giving them all plenty of time to find a sitter that if i invited all the kids in the family their would be about 25 to 30 and that is way to many for a wedding,and i will not pick and choose some kids over others since i love them all.not one person gave me crap about bring their kids.if they did i would give them crap right back just for giving me crap and being rude

Post # 9
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think you should do what every makes you and your DI happy and relaxed on your big day,

I personally will have quite a few kids at our wedding/reception.  There will probably be a dozen from 2-12. It works for us because we are planning a good food, good music eat drink and marry kind of event. I will love to see the kids on the dance floor lol

Maybe because I am a older bride and have an adult child…but I am much more relazed about it.

Post # 10
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m in a similar boat too. I only want kids at my wedding that are IN my wedding. Almost ALL my friends and his family have multiple kids. If we allowed children, there would easily be MORE children than adult guests. We’re talking over 100 children! It’d turn into a totally out of control children’s birthday party, not a wedding. Even the idea of that stresses me out. 

 

Plus, our venue charges $50/kid 3-8, and a full price meal ($130)/kid over 8! Yep. $50 for a plate of MAC AND CHEESE. I’m not joking. I’m sorry…but I’m not paying that for 100 kids…and I’m not asking my other friends and loved ones to stay home (we have VERY limited seating at our venue), so that another family member or friend’s kids can have a $130 meal. That’s crazy. 

 

So…we’re taking a hard line on it. We have to. It’ll just get out of hand if we don’t. We’re going to give traveling guests with kids recommendations for daycare/babysitting services in the area. 

 

Post # 11
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Another vote for arranging for babysitting.  Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

 Me too….we did the babysitting thing and it worked like a charm!!  The caregivers we hired to come to the hotel were fantastic.  The kids had a blast playing with each other and the private kids room catering was cheaper than the reception meal.  They all came to the reception once the dance started.  Best $300 spent!

 

Post # 13
Member
10384 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

You won’t really need to “handle” then, I promise – you’ll be too busy doing other stuff! There’s way too many people at your wedding for it to make the list, luckily! You barely have time to talk to everyone and eat…let alone corral kids!

Post # 14
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@crayfish:  NOT necessarily true. I’ve been to SEVERAL weddings where parents let their kids run wild. It was VERY distracting and totally stressed out the brides as well as ALL the other guests! 

Post # 16
Member
931 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@MrsCreeToBe:  I’m having a hindu ceremony which can go for up to 1 hour. I have a kids table at the back stacked sky high with playdough (seriously, i bought about 50 tubs for about 20 kids). It’s okay as the ceremony is outdoors.

For my reception i made activity books and the kids favour is a pack of crayons. i hope it will keep em occupied.

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